I am back... lol.. AND can you explain to me.. how this is happening?

Doing better...  about 90% better...   Starting to get some of the yard work done...   brain is working better... well at least up to par for an 86 year old broad...  lol...   I still have the pain off and on in my elbow area....  but the cold/flu or what ever the hell that was...   is gone.....   THANK GOD FOR THAT. 

So guess that means I should get busy...  and the weather is better so ..... yard work..  but came in and figure I was done for the day....   it was only 11am..  oh, well,  at least I got a lot done..   tied up rose branches..    lopped off dead branches on roses and some of the other plants..     there is yard art, I got to go thru.. and get rid of it...  I have glued and repaint them enough...   GONE GONE it will be.. 

So how is this Spring doing for you all?  Hopefully giving you cheer after the winter...  and definitely need it with all this insanity of the government...  it just blows my mind daily...   everything.. and I do mean everything... that I knew to be true...  about the laws of how this government has served us for all most 250 years..  has been thrown in the trash... I keep praying to God to help this poor government that is going more and more indebt...  and it isn't for the citizens who pay for it...   And Congress... what the hell?  I have NEVER  EVER seen such a worthless bunch... more than ever in history...  and since when does the House Speaker get to run the show...   NONE OF US.... well, maybe the state he comes from did..  but NONE OF.US VOTED THIS GUY IN....  and the rest of the bunch don't seem to have enough of a back bone..  to get rid of him...    I am pretty sure that Congress has got rid of other speakers for less than this little mouse, who does anything Trump says...  WHY ARE THINGS STILL HAPPEN , WHEN CONGRESS/GOVERNMENT IS SHUT DOWN..   and yet...  the things the American citizen's  needs can't be   voted on..     EXPLAIN  that to me..     Trump demands more money for the war... how can that happen when Congress is shut down?

Someone want to explain that to me?     And his wanted and getting angry at NATO for not stepping up to help..  He started this mess.....     he did not tell NATO what he had planned..   HE DID NOT TELL NATO.... I  am bombing Iran tomorrow.....   NATO found just like the rest of us..   AFTER THE FACT..  so why should they help at all....     I thought that was started to help nations... IF SOMEONE ATTACKED THEM.  NOT FOR US TO GO ATTACK OTHERS..    but I could be wrong..   Does someone want to explain that to me..

STILL ALIVE... but not doing 55... lot slower

Well, the good news is that I lost 10 pounds...  so got to look at the sunny side of things..   On Tuesday I get to finally after 3 months ....get to see the dr..  at least they say she will be there...  but that was over a month ago since I have heard from them.. other than the email of confirmation...   felt like answering it saying YEA, I WILL BE THERE.. BUT WILL SHE? 

My husband does not go to the dr with me... but he insisted this time he is..,,   not sure if he is going with me to back me up....  or to keep me out of jail..

By the way. I use bag balm..  do any of you?   reason why I asked... is when one of the desk jockeys heard me say I had been putting bag balm on my shingles to help ....  she ask me..  what ever possessed me to put bag balm on...   told her BECAUSE I AM A LONG TIME FARM GIRL... as we put bag balm on EVERYTHING...  cow, dog, cat, horses,  and us..    she said.. she never heard of that..   and I told her.. guess you are NOT A FARM girl... and we left it at that.  

so I will let you know if this 85 (almost   86)  still know the best about how to take care of herself.    and if I don't get back to you before...  have a NICE EASTER....  with your family..    it is also my birthday that day...  

MEANWHILE..... trying to get my life back...

 

Meanwhile….

Meanwhile my life seems to be spirally out of control..  last least how I control it.   I take pride in controlling… not others…   have no  interest in people.  Just keeping control of my own life is hard enough.

Last week, I went to prayer meeting like I do each Wed.. about 5  to7 of us read off prayer request for any one and who ever asked us to pray for those of needs.   

I got up Thursday about 8 as usual.  And barely made it to the bathroom while my stomach decided what exit was the contents in side using for a exit.   Finally deciding rear over toilet..  mouth In side grocery bag.  I came out and Ken said he wasn’t feeling too well either.   I told him I was going to lay down for a while.   Now remember by body is still fighting my nerves with shingles .. this is not good..    I woke up later and sat on the coach.. I looked at the clock and said . wow.. daylight time is sure stay light for a longer time..   he gave me a quizzal look…he said.. you know that is 9:10 in the morning, right?  And I asked what day..  Friday morning..  some where between Thursday and Friday..  I lost  track…  AND my gait wasn’t doing too well, like I was drunk even though I don’t drink..  Then I had make a call that I was suppose to do the night before..  I apologized thru mess of words..   he said no problem as he was sick…too.  I slept a good part of Sat.  and today is Sunday and not doing that great either. But least I can put  sentence together and make sense..    went outside to feel the warmth of the sun and breathe fresh air..      Ken is holding his own.  He has made a couple of runs to the store ..  I have slept with the dog as she felt sorry for me..  

What I want to know.. where did I go wrong..  Have not been this sick for years and even then kept my sense.. what little I have left.

So if you are getting this or can stay away from those  stay away.. it is hell…  

They say that a bad start if a good ending..  well, Jan to March has been truly hell    and hoping to see June show up..  take good care of yourself..

 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO??

 

What would you do?  

We have …most of us..  at one time or another heard the host, John Quinones,   ask the question..  which is the name of his show..    WHAT WOULD YOU ? He puts them into situations… and watches to see how they would handle it..  so I am going to set a scene… for you to see.. and then I will ask you the question…..

Here is the little small town, mixed with a few others.. and a larger one..  Everyone gets along pretty good.  There are some bits and pieces of disagreements.. but still, everyone has everyone’s back.. so to speak..    These towns and neighbors are pretty tight when the chips are down..  be it weather..  for fires, just different things in life.  Health.. deaths…

50 years later, a man from the big city sees a large farm as an investment…   he buys, puts up fences and widens out the road…  and then puts down pavement..

Then he starts to rag on the other farmers for not paying for what he decides is their fair share.    The smaller farms where happy with their dirt road…  and were not too happy about being put down for not doing more.  Paying more..  mor taxes…..Althought the smaller towns and farms helped with plowing the snow, redoing the dirt roads over the years..    all the thru the years..  the big business man would harp about how lazy and cheap the rest were.

The big business man found out there was a big mall going in down the road from the maga farm.  He was not happy,  as he figure being his farm was closest…  they would try to take over some of his land..   He calls a meeting with all the towns people and farmers..   He was not happy with them as they were not bothered so they were not interested.. again putting them down for not helping him..     so .. he took it on himself..  to plow up the road to the mall… putting in pits next to his side of the road that was being built.   The mall fought back with a lawsuit..  and he called on the rest of the farms to help him..   help pay for the lawyer..  and what ever else…   So here is my question…. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?     Remember this maga farmer sees a profit only place..   who was constantly putting them down.. calling them cheap and lazy..  and not pulling their weight….      WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Maybe you might understand why the countries of NATO… are not jumping on the wagon….. 

sayings that make you think.....

 saw on the black board..... 

WHILE LISTENING ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO THE SPEAKER.... 

0R ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY FOR A REPLY???.... 

similar one was....  BEFORE WE SPEAK,  ARE WE ALREADY THINKING  OF WHAT IS NEXT TO SAY?  

Got to admit, I have been guilty of that...  but not so much anymore...    now I am trying to remember what I was going to say in the answer...   as sometime the speaker as they are talking directly to you......go on and on,,   to the point you forget what you were going to say...    Now that I am older...   I figure what the hell,  it if isn't important to remember, then it isn't important enough to say..  and walk away..   lol....

IT IS A PUZZLEMENT...

Over the weekend..   Trump decided to bomb Iran..     I couldn't believe it..   WHY..  First he had already bomb it …. what last year?   While they have been busy trying to repair things..  they were no where near getting ready to bomb as ..  as Trump and his stooges are trying to make us believe..  Next they have nothing to travel that far with a bomb..  to get to us..    an hour after the first bombs hit.. we hear that Israel was with us as we bomb them..    so again..  I ask..  WHY ARE WE BATTLING FOR ISRAEL?   THIS IS NOT OUR FIGHT…  Israel has the most to gain..   then we hear that Trump and his stooges hear that Israel was actually going to do that soon..    WHY DID TRUMP think we should???..

And my other question,   especially after Iran bomb OUR base in Quatar?   How is that going down with the Saudi  ‘s?     I thought!!  Saudi’s were Trump new best friends..  you know the Saudi’s who told TRUMP… NOT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IRAN!!

THIS DEFINITELY A PUZZLEMENT…      and then the congress voted .. the REPUBLICAN  vote to not put any brakes on Trump in this..   what the HELL.??

I miss the days....

 I miss the days……..   

The days when people were more relaxed..  instead of looking for hate.  No matter which side…   now days..  there is hate every where.. of anything..  seems like the Ugly American they talked about in the 1950’s..  is back alive a not well..   All the of the ones who were looked down at,  when they would spew  nastiness..    words to destroy.. most of us looked at them with disgust.     Enough so that they would not say it unless they were around their own..  they were the 5 %...   I think a lot of us thought it was the bottom of the barrel of the South..  maybe because that is where we thought of the KKK group who tried their best to promote hate… prejudices… mostly there were of the blacks.. 

But for a short time..   in maybe the 80’s heading into the  ..1990’s the blacks were starting to get respect…   that people were starting to see there were good and bad black people .. just like the whites…    so they were enjoying actors, and actresses,   singers, and etc..  Lawyers, and bankers and then Senators and Representatives .    Even gays started to live without having to look over their  shoulders..   Finding out that they  too, were fine people,  singers, actors, or just the guy down the road who has a flower shop…  the lawyer who steps up and shows they too know the laws and can win a case of many…     People were finally look at them all as if they are just another human being.    But some where .. around the beginning of 2000…  things started to fall apart..  and by 2016.. the hate was back in vengeance … bring it to focus was Mr. Trump..  he showed them that prejudices were alive and well.    And the under current came up and the ones where 1. Didn’t know what to do,  didn’t know how stand up for those who were now targets again..      I don’t understand..  I have been .. around and had and have friends of these  groups…  NOT ONE GAY PERSON..  asked me to be gay…  they treated me like I was me…  NOT ONE BLACK person tried to change me…   when they saw respect..  I got respect back.     And the one that really throws me is the hatred that is back from the 1920’s.   the hatred of the Jewish people..   See I was raised around a lot of Jewish people..  my parents had a lot of Jewish friends..   never heard my parents say anything negative about Jewish people..    Our town has the oldest Synagogue in the USA.

I babysat for a Jewish family..   I also worked for a produce man..  who taught me a LOT..   there were never any negative words said…  I just don’t understand.   After I was a full blown adult, that I had read of prejudices in New Jersey…  I was shock.   I went to school  with Jewish…   I don’t get it..

AND WHY IS THIS UGLY BACK?   WHY?     We have always had some kind of prejudices..  We had Catholics not wanting their kids to date and or marry Greece.. or Protestants… or Jewish not wanting their kids to date and marry out of their religious group..      but none  of hate about color,  and about feelings.. and etc..      They just wanted to stay in their own religion…

OH, HOW I WISH I COULD TURN BACK THE CLOCK ON HATE…  Just when we were starting to accept each other for who they were..    they weren’t trying to change you to who they were…   they just want to be themselves..  and for you to be yourself…  

Guess, my ex was right…  I wear rose color glasses..  

 

 

                .. 

I wish I had taken notes....

I WISH I HAD TAKEN NOTES…. 

Or even better,  kept a journal..  as there is things I remember from over the years. But as I write them down in a book like one of my granddaughters had be do…   it just doesn’t seem to come out right.

When some one brings up a subject..  like what did you do for work?   In my days, most women were either secretaries, or store clerks, .or teachers, or..  and then there were nurse aides..  until they got married..   Some of them did it after they got married..  especially if they were divorced..   Better jobs came along later,  as strong women and society figured out that woman could do just about any job a man could.   Some companies hired those women because the pay for them was about a 1/3 less than if they hired a man.  And women were so happy to finally be looked upon as good workers..  Not knowing until much later that they were getting paid a lot less.   Then women started striking or taking it to court..  Winning some, but not as much as men.     Society found out that woman could do the same work as men during WWII… when the men went to war.. yet planes, tanks and etc had to be built..   Women did it..   of course as soon as the war was over, the women were let go. Even the women pilots were told they were no longer needed..   And it took until the 1990’s before there was the recognition of woman workers during the war.   Now you see occasionally a statute of a woman pilot.   War brought on women workers..  Women following the troops during the Civil war and taking care of the men who were shot.. was some what a start of nurses..     Except they were called..  camp followers..  and were not treated very well,  and  let go after the war was over.  

It is in the old history books..  if you can find one..  don’t know what the internet did with the information. 

I went the gambit..  Babysitting, clerk in office, waitress, ran a mom and pop ice creams shop.  He was in the Navy and she was a navy wife with a lot of friends.. and when he was at sea, she was partying..  so I open the place up..   and she closed it.   Then several years later..   I was a helper in a car smashing business with my husband..   burning cars to get the copper out of it..  standing on top of a load, so I could line up the finally car on top.   Even smashed a load one time.   As my husband had thoughts of over the road driving again.  Only to find out they wanted to sell him a semi and not use his old truck.   So I helped his partner smash a load of cars while my husband was returning home.    After I took classes in becoming a nurses aide..  and did that for up to 18 years.    So you see ..  women have been filling in for years..   Now some are heads of companies…  but there are  still some that are fighting the system of lower wages and sexual harassment.    So you see, I have done a few things..    but some how that becomes blah blah blah..  when some one ask..  what did you do for work Nana…

And there really is more to that..  the cold mornings of dragging cars to the place we smashed them..    drinking coffee to warm up..   Kids up on the top of old coal piles in the summer…  when they were not school age yet.      The jealousy of another metal smashing company..    how the mill where we dumped off a load and a bit later some explosive blew up in the grinder..  and the police grilling my husband to find out where his truck had been after he finished but before he drove over the mt. to the grinder company near Seattle.

The chief of police making a deal to smash cars left in the woods… finding titles or paper work so we could…     How I had a side job.. thru that chief.. of being their operator of the phones for the city from Friday night to Monday morning at 8am.

See more to the story of ..   well I was …..  

 

ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH…. WERE YOU POOR ENOUGH…

In the 1960’s.. there were something called commodities..  On the packages was marked.. MADE FOR US GOVERNMENT.   Which meant it was totally only… made for the US GOVERNMENT. 

My sister in law and I went down once a month to a building…..got a shopping basket and went down a roll .. there were about 3 rolls if I recall right.    I had a 3 on my cart and she had 8 on hers.. it was how many was in your household. 

Now Commodities were for those who did not make much money.  Bill had just got out of the Navy.. and being their wasn’t a big call for boat drivers, which is what he did in the Navy..  driving the officers from land to ships..  and also LDT landing- something the other - transportation..    So he sold encyclopedia  books which didn’t pay much.. about 50 cents an hour and commission on how many sets you sold..  you didn’t sell any?  No commission.

My sister in law Willie showed me the ropes..  both in getting the food, plus how to cook with it..   See this was NOT food stamps..  Food stamps where you went and bought what you wanted (with in their guidelines… like no bath soap, no clothes soap, no toilet paper and etc)   What we got was boxes of flour.. 5 lbs size,   sugar 5 lbs size,  18 inch long 4x4 tins of meat,  of cheese and peanut butter.    Which by the way..  was the best ever cheese and peanut butter…  which you could not find any where else..   as the manufacturer did not make the product under their own company name.    Willie got two of everything and I got one..  because of the size of our families.  There was powdered milk, which did make some pretty good milk.. nothing like the commercial ones in the stores that tasted like paste water.

The other part was you had to know how to cook with these items.. as there was NO premade food..  it was all up to you to know how to make pancakes, bread, and etc..  even pasta..  I got pretty good at making noodles..   rolling them out and cutting them with a knife and then boiling them.    Thanks to Willie showing me how.  

Bill learned how to weld from his older brothers and went to work in the ship yards.. where he got to work on the Navy ships he served on..   which he made too much money for us to get any more.

 

So are you old enough to remember?   And were you poor enough ? 

Think happy thoughts, they say.....

 So here I am,  still traveling thru the shingles crap...  as I have decided to call it..  I am so ready to be over this...     

I am done with the contagious part…the stuff festered, scabbed and dropped off..    So why are I not done?   Oh, no no…   the powers that be  say.. NOT SO FAST CIS….   As it comes the rest of it..  and you thought you had pain before.. WELL, HERE IS PAIN…  SHARP PAIN… BURNING PAIN.. PRESSURE PAIN..  in different parts of the body where the shingles arrived..      And just to make sure I am paying attention..  it seems during the scabbing.. and tiny little spot, decided to raise up on my chest..  See the rest of it is from the wrist to the armpit..  the full armpit..  with the elbow on its own.. doing its thing..   the joint part has reminders that this is still real..  with extremely painful sharp stabs…  that I swore was 30 seconds..   which turn out to be actually 5 to 6 seconds..  but it arrives when it wants to.. no warning.. just a huge stab in the joint… enough to make the arm jerk.   And now I read that there is a phase 3 with this.. where it can  last months and even years for others..  OH PLEASE,  GOD,  don’t let me be one of those.  

My son who got this after thanksgiving..  is still dealing with it..  in its starting of down hill..   so making that almost 2 month  s…   Please God don’t let me do more?

 

Some of this is hard..   as I have a pretty good endurance of pain..  at least I think I do…  My mother taught me as a child….   If you don’t think about the pain and to            busy yourself..  it will lessen it or have it disappear for a while..   and if you are lucky it will go away…   So that is how I have dealt with pain over the years.. UNTIL this.    So my pain goes from 9 – 10.. to 8,,  but still there..   I tried different creams…  which work about 3 days and then back to the old pain… so have been rotating it..   Keep telling myself..  next week it will be better..

So after reading this..  if you have not gotten the shingles shot…. Get it…  unless you are in to pain..      And as much as you think, you can think it away..  NOT.. going to happen..