Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Walk beside Alzheimer’s


Walk beside Alzheimer’s

There are millions of caretakers mates who walk along Alzheimer’s every single moment of the day.
One of the hardest part of any marriage is taking care of your love one.  The hardest in my opinion is the ones with Alzheimer’s.  Cancer is hard as you see your partner waste away bit by bit… and if you are lucky, it will last 6 months to a year.. or two.  The worse part of it, that is..  But there is an end of the terrible tunnel, so to speak. 

Now with Alzheimer’s there seems to be no end of the tunnel. As one can suffer from it for 5 years, 10years or even 20 years. With a healthy body but only the mind being effective, it can be a long time.

Some give in, and put their love ones in an institution. And no one can fault them for that. It is extremely expensive. ESTREMELY.. Sending some to other options.  Divorce being one of them.  So they can financially save the remaining spouse.  The remaining spouse still being just as devoted as if they are still married.  Divorce for those who are in their 80’s and 90’s is a horrible blow.  They NEVER thought of getting a divorce all their married lives. Thru sickness and health, they signed up for.  But there comes a time, where they are over their heads. And an institution is the only resort. 

Others hang on. Taking care of the spouse at home. Financially is a equal reason here too. They know they can’t afford a health care for their spouse. So they hang on..every day, every moment… making adjustments. LOTS OF ADJUSTMENTS…. Some are the physical.. Like putting locks on doors that you don’t want anyone to walk out in the middle of the night.  Locks on drawers.. locks on stoves, so they don’t turn on the burner and get burnt.  Taking furniture and moving it so it is less likely to be tripped over. Removing rugs, (not carpet). A constant awareness of what can be a hazard to the spouse.

Then there is the adjustments of handling things, and saying things… so not to confuse the spouse more. When they become confused they can become combative, because they don’t understand. 

I learn when I was a nurses aide in health care center and doing some home health that, you step into their world.  Don’t argue, find a way to get around the subject in hand.  Some times… the spouse will find a window into our world.. and everything makes sense.. To the point it gives the caretaker spouse hopes of recovery.. But in Alzheimer’s there is no recovery. Only moments of sanity.  Enjoy them while you get them.. as they will be far and between.. and eventually will go away all together.

There will be moments of laughter. Moments where, like children, they will say the damness things.. that will make you laugh and get thru the day. Enjoy these. If you are lucky, you see and hear them often. But not often enough to make it easy.

There will be moments when the twinkle of their eyes will remind you of the good days, The smiles that will melt your heart when you two were in your 20’s.. Enjoy them… they too, will get you thru the day, especially those days, when you think you can’t do one more day.  Take pictures, of the good days, for your memories for later.

And most important…find help.. some places will offer a respite for a couple hours, for a reasonable price. Some have for free.   Take an hour or two to go shopping, and maybe a cup of coffee or lunch with a friend.. while some one visits with your spouse. THIS IS HUGE.. you won’t survive without it.  Hopefully you have family…  children, grandchildren.. who can come over for a couple of hours and visit with Mom/Dad … Grandpa/Grandma   and that way you won’t have to pay for it.   Thankfully they have children locks on cars now.. so you don’t have to worry about going to a dr. office and have a car door swing open while you are driving down the road.
The reason why this is HUGE… because if you don’t get help… you will die.. I am not kidding.  More spouses have died BEFORE their love one has.

If you are just starting out .. walking beside Alzheimer’s, I wish you luck, I wish you amazing patience and compassion.. as it will all be stressed to the max.  But it is doable.  You will have the ride of your life time.  Some of it sad, some of it funny, some of it heart breaking, as you lose your love ones mind. But if you can go along with them… not question them when they don’t want to talk, don’t argue with them.. walk gently… and you will make it thru it.  There are althernate ways of saying things..  Instead of saying we are going in to the living room…  tell them.. let’s go look out the window to see what is out there.. then after a bit of looking, say, let’s sit down.. my legs are tired..   Be creative.  Might have to remember the creativity you used when your children were small.

God Bless, the caretaker, remember you are not alone.. there are sources out there.. ask. .. 


Tuesday, July 30, 2019

LOVE/HATE


LOVE/HATE
 I know they say there is a fine line between the two.
And hate has been around since Cain and Abel.
But with all the love of the bible and Jesus, and churches.. why is it still so rampaged?

Why is that people in general seem to gasp ahold of hatred and seem to shy away from kindness, compassion and etc. Some even finding it embarrassing.  Sadly..

The paper is full of daily reports of those who are doing some hateful things to other human beings. Where do they get the idea that it is ok to burn the homeless, and all the other horrible things we see in the news? Maybe if the media where to report on good deeds instead of the hatred.. it could be better? But I hear that good deeds don’t sell as well.

Over the past few years or so.. meaning 10 to 20 years, we would see and read about kindness. Soup kitchens, not only for the homeless but for the lonely.
Children who have taken their own money, and others who decide to help them.. making sandwiches and handing them out to the homeless, some even giving out gloves or mittens in the cold.. Old ladies who have made caps for them to hand out to the homeless with the sandwiches.  Some collecting blankets to pass out with them.
Now you read how they are ARRESTING people for doing the same thing.. For those who will bring a large soup kettle, and home made sandwiches, handing out bottles of water… being ARRESTED..  What has this country come to?

The hatred promoted by elected officials from the President on down..  Rants in chorus, on street corners.  Why all this hatred?

I once was told that hatred came from those who did not understand, so hated instead of learning..  That if you can teach someone what the other side of the issue is like, that those same people were less liable to hate.   If that is so, we need a HUGE learning curve for those haters.

So does that mean, it is easier to hate?  Is it the lazy thinker, who finds it too much to find good in a situation?   That hating is easier?  That is sad, if true.



Wednesday, July 24, 2019

How blessed we are…..


How blessed we are….. 





Found this sign.. and it sure does fit for us these days…

See over the weekend we let go of the lives of love ones as we celebrated their lives.  There was laughter, there was sad and tears, there was eating, and dancing… games played…   Then on Sunday,
there was the tears that flowed as we said good by to the people we had to let go with God… and laid them to rest..

Then there was the birthday party for LIL MAN who turn 3.. 

Then two days later, we welcome in to our lives a sweet bunch of joy… our 24th great grandchild.
Mom and baby are doing fine…  And Dad is beaming..

And big brother?  How is he adjusting? I would say pretty good from these pictures..





Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Surprise visitor….












Surprise visitor….

I opened my door on Sunday morning to go get the Sunday paper… and to my surprise what do I see..
But a GOOSE… yes, I said GOOSE… I was leery if I should go out to get the paper, but he didn’t seem to be threatening..   Well, to my surprise, he followed me.   He was out in the road, and a car came…and he ran to me, like I was suppose to protect him. 
I headed to the back yard and went thru the gate. I turn to shut the gate, and he was going thru with me.
Ok… now I have a goose in my back yard.

Thought he might be hungry, so I showed him where the bird feeders were and where the birds slop seeds below.. Sure enough, he ate some..  Went and got him some water, and he drank that.. 

So now what? After all I didn’t sign on for a goose. And this was a Canadian Goose.  So that means he is a wild goose.  

We did see him the day before down the road. In fact the King thought he was fake until he moved his head.

We headed to church and left the gate open for him to go.. But when we got home, he was still here in the back yard.    Misty went out and spotted him, barked, the goose lowered his head and hissed… and she was GONE.. into the house.   I put a couple pictures up on Facebook showing our visitor.. and the business around the corner from us told me, that yes that is the neighborhood goose.. And about a hour later, a man came to the driveway, and I asked if I could help him… He said I think you have my goose in your back yard… I told him, yes I do.. And he said can I go get him, I said, surely you can.   His kids followed and they called his name.. and he followed them home…  by the way .. his name… is FRANK..
They said they had found him… and  raised him from a baby… They had plans now that he is old enough to be on his own.. they were going to take him to the lake… No not our local beach.. as they would kill him.
He said, oh, no, they were taking him to a different part of the lake…

So good luck FRANK… may you find a mate and live a long life..  

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

OLD TRADITIONS FADE AWAY....

With everyone coming in this past weekend... and all the celebrating... visiting,  some enjoying the area as well as the event. 
We had great evenings of visiting as well..  it dawn on me a lost tradition. 

But when everyone was packing up on Sunday and heading back home to other states and other areas... the tradition is no longer practice. 

See when ever we had company from far away.. another state or across the state...  the day they were leaving.. we would send with them food... We would fry up chicken, have potato chips, and fruit all in a box for them and thermos of coffee or bottles of water with ice in them... to take with them.. And on their trip home they could pull over in an area off the road, and have something to eat and rest before they finished their trip..  Saving money, as restaurants could be spendy.    

But people don't do that anymore...  I guess because there are soooo  many .... fast food places along the road..  Every 20 miles there is another area of multiple fast foods to stop at..  Where as in the years of past... stops could be 40, 50 and even 60 miles apart and some of those were just a little gas station and then you were on your way again..  





Tuesday, July 16, 2019

A day of great laughter, a day of sadness,

Celebration of life of Tim and Lori Haines... went well... lots of food, lots of laughter, games, conversations and memories...  and dancing... by young and old..  some with partners and some in groups..  with lots of laughter..  
   






The next day... was the burial.. with lots of tears..  Tim with a military funeral .. that was done by a very nice  group out of Seattle did...    It was hard for all, to let go of these two...  

Then it was time for a lot of people to get on the road.. some had to leave the night before.... 

Then we finished off the day with a celebration of 3 years.. 
our great grandson's birthday... helping adults  to smile again. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Celebrating the best we can….


Celebrating the best we can….

this guy....


Last fall we lost a member of our family.
Cancer had claimed him, ripping him from
Our lives… 

He came quietly into our family.  Loving our youngest daughter.  Taking her places she never been before.
The first was Sturgis, South Dakota to the Harley Davidson yearly celebration.  And now that has become a funny story.  See, he and our daughter had been going to get together for several months.. And they decided to head to South Dakota, as Tim had been a Harley rider for years.  No, not the bad boy motorcycle gang type. He was more of the hard worker who loved to ride.  Anyway the funny story to go with it.. was the afternoon that he stopped by here to pick up their supplies they stored here in our refrigerator while they worked.  He got off first. As I was helping him get the supplies into their vehicle.. I was kind of teary eyed, as she had not been before. And we all are aware of the stories of wild times at this event.  So I told Tim to take good care of my daughter. I was counting on him.  And he promised he would.  When they got home a week later, my daughter asked me what the devil did I tell Tim before he left.  I told her, for him to watch over her, why?  Well, don’t ever do that again, Mom.  Seems that Tim was like a second skin to her.  She finally told him to give her some breathing room.. and what is wrong with you.. He told her, he had promised her mother to keep her safe…and he was.. lol.
Then there is the afternoon, several years later, that Tim stopped by our house to talk to the King and I. Once again he had gotten off work earlier than she did. He came by to ask if it was ok to ask her to marry him. He was asking permission to ask… In this day and age, I thought that was so sweet. But my answer to him… was … what the hell took you so long??.. Then we were swore to  keep it a secret until he asked. Which drove us nuts.. as a week goes by and nothing said..  And I knew my daughter would have said something.  He kept trying to find the perfect place.  Which didn’t come out.. so he blurt it out in the Harley Davidson parking lot as he was taking her in to buy a HD ring for them.  They had the best wedding ever in their back yard. With family and friends. 

They were married 7 years I believe.. when he left us.
So this weekend.. we celebrate his life.  He had a big party and then a burial the next day for his mom several years before.  And that was his request. To have great food, play many games, (horseshoes, corn hole, pool, foosball and etc) and then have a band and dance the night away.  So that is what we will do on Saturday..  Also we will be celebrating his sister too, as she followed him 3 months after he left. Both with cancer.  Then Sunday, we will have a  burial, for the two of them.. there is a poem to be read by their aunt. Full military honor for Tim as he spend 20 years in the Coast Guard. And after everyone has a chance to say a few words…  The King will play a song he wrote with the sound of a Harley starting up, revving up and then taking off…at the end of the song.    
Tim requested one thing… but I don’t think anyone is going to be able to do that….  He asked no tears.. I sorry Tim, don’t think we are going to be able to pull that one off.   My daughter thinks there will be about 100 there.. being both of them.. my daughter and Tim come from large family.. we figured about 2/3 will be related. 
So if you happen to think about it Saturday.. have a beer on Tim, as we celebrate a life well lived..… and Sunday, say a little prayer for all of us… as we let him go, but never forgotten in our hearts.  As we  put he and his older sister Lori to rest.

Tuesday, July 09, 2019

Parades, that I miss…


Parades, that I miss….

I miss the Bristol, Rhode Island Parade…
As far as I know, it is the oldest parade in the USA.
I have been to see it many times as a kid.. but not as
an adult..   Maybe I should put that on a bucket list, if
I ever make one.. 
I even worked the parade.. meaning a friend of the family use to sell balloons, batons, kewpie dolls and etc…  and I helped him two years in a row.. So I got to see the parade and sell balloons.. there is a picture somewhere of me selling them at the parade.

What I miss mostly was not only the big floats, that they did, almost like the ones at the Rose Parade.
But even more.. the marching bands..  Love the music, the drums… watching the majorettes toss the batons and catch them..  Yes, the music..

Sadly this year, there was only beating on 5 gallon buckets for live music at the Sandpoint parade.  I remember when the high school kids use to march in the parade.. I worked at the nursing home next to the high school.. and love hearing them practice in the back field..  

Parades just aren’t like they use to be.. Even the Rose Parade has been lacking..  and Macy’s Thanksgiving parade..  they have marching bands.. several of them.. but we are at the mercy of the television show that is at the parade.. The camera whizzes by when the marching bands come…and stay when some person is on the back of some truck signing.. I don’t want to see a music concert.. I want to see floats and marching bands.. have a special show for the latest Broadway show.. don’t rain on my parade with your commercial of those shows.. or those stars in California..

Stepping down off box..

Thursday, July 04, 2019

Sandpoint Idaho 4th of July parade

This year I spent the 4th at Sandpoint.. I do Clark Fork one year and then Sandpoint next year.. So this year was Sandpoint's turn.. 
There are a lot of groups that have no identification..  because either they weren't showed on my side.. or they were too small print...   so sorry for not naming..  If I did know, I noted it. 
So here is a few of the sights around the parade area at 5th and Church Street. 

This is looking south on 5th ave at Cedar.. I was heading down to my spot.. and the car club was lining up.. 


 this group always does a great job of having a good amount of their group..also they do charity work with some of their events.


up on my perch ... the crowd is starting to gather at 9:30am.. starting time.. 10am or near it, as Sandpoint is well known for being 20  minutes late in their starts... of any event... 



 fire trucks lining up.. police getting their vehicles ready for the start..




 This year Cherry Lane is not the traffic control..  seems it is TRAFFIC COP Corp. 
 dogs,dogs, dogs every where





 Boy Scout with Flag detail and they did very well.. 





This is the first time I have ever seen such a sign.....  to me.. it is sad the public has to told what to do... out of respect... out of honor... and etc..   sad indeed....



 the crowd is thickening.....

 more dogs..

 AT EXACTLY 10:04... THE PARADE STARTED....















 the start of the INJECTORS CLUB of older cars...

 by this time... about 20 or so more people showed up to watch the parade.. and ended up standing in front of me.. Now I am up on a porch perch.. yet still....  so some of these shots are me holding the camera above my head and hoping for the best..




 these are the normal shots







 here is the Commish.. McDonald ... he is always been nice enough to take time and answer questions or explain on Sandpoint Forum which is a public place on Facebook, where people vent about local things..  he isn't always saying what they really want hear.. but take the patience to try to explain why things are as they are, in the county.. and some times even has given some great advice of where to get help for county problems..  

 more dogs.. thought these two were going to have a mix up of it.. but the owners were strong..
















 BUSTER is back with the school district..  he goes to schools and teaches safety on the buses and around them..




on the back is up for raffle.truck . I believe it is the football team that is having it. 




Old tractors.... it is a tractor group that goes in parades as well as events.. you can catch them at the fair grounds and the guys will show and tell with you...  also once in awhile they have been known to go to some large farms or etc.. and have a tractor,  plow out, where there are several tractors plowing a huge field.. 









This was a dancing group.. they did a great job..




ah, the BLUE PEOPLE..   no not the band, but the workers from the Shingle Mill Road Blueberry fields..  where you can pick your own..   They were the most active group.. plus the only real music, yes those are 5 gallon buckets for drums.. and they sounded great.. 







                                        








 Kate McAllister..  not sure I spelt her name correctly.. she is a mulit event person.. has a lot to do with the Follies which is a group who put on a vaudville show in Feb. for charity with the  Angels over Sandpoint.. but also she is I think the head of Chamber of Commerce or such..  You really can't get much more Irish than Kate.



 I don't know what group this is... but we were all wondering about the uniforms the men had on..



this is a local bike group called the Peddlers.. 





 Albeni Falls Drum and Bugle group....



 Got to have horses..









a hound dog... if I was younger, I would be down at the Panhandle Animals Shelter to see if he could go home with me.. .but I am too old and he is too big for me.. now.. and he needs a kid who loves to run and play













do you suppose this is one of the planes heading for the fly over in DC...
little humor, folks, don't get in a twitter..






AND THAT IS IT FOLKS..

AND IF THEY NEEDED A THEME FOR THIS YEAR.. IT WOULD BE THE YEAR OF THE DOG...  I stopped counting... at 17... there were so many...   I have a dog.. but there is no way I am going to stress her out at any event that has huge crowds... but got to say.. all but the two were pretty well behaved.. some looked  awful nervous tho...

Also was thinking this year .. Sandpoint wasn't up to their par..but I also keep in mind... there are A LOT OF PEOPLE who work really hard to bring this parade to us all...  so if you were quite please, maybe you can contact them and offer help for next year.. I am sure they would love all the help they can get.. 
So that is it..  next year .. if the creek don't rise.. I will be at the Clark Fork parade taking pictures..