SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A NURSES AIDE part 3

SO YOU WANT TO BE A
NURSES AIDE
part 3 and this is the most
important, in my mind of the 3.

What you need inside yourself
to be a good aide.

And aide is a very special person.She
is the eyes and ears for the nurse. Any
changes at all, you notice and report.
For years she/he did work that many
wouldn't and had a horrible reputation
because of it. If you said you were an
nurses aide, people would tell you, I am
sorry you can't get a better job. Bartender,
waitress something. They thought being
a nurses aide was the bottom of the barrel.
Even some nurses had the same opinion.
If you weren't a nurse then you weren't
much. And even to this day, there are some
who will say, not me. I wouldn't, couldn't
do that job. And that is kind of true. You
really got to love it to be a good aide.

There are several kinds of aides.
1. There are the teens and others
who are there only for the money and
a stepping stone to a better job, a
better paying job. And their job
performance shows it.
2. There are aides who just do the
work, and want the money. They will
do the job well. The resident will be
taken care of. They do what is
required and nothing extra.
3. And then there are the aides whose
whole heart is in it. We love the
residents. Even the badly behave ones.
And you better or else it will never
work for you and you won't last long.

The sweet grandma that people talk
about can slam you against the wall,
pull your hair, spit in your face, and
cuss you out like a trooper. The sweet
grandpa, can make sexual remarks at
you, call you dirty names, punch you,
pinch you, slap you, and throw feces at
you. 15% of them will. So if you can't
take the heat, get out of the kitchen,
as Harry Truman said.

Then there is 20 % who are demanding,
act like you are their maids, have no
respect for you, and are not beneath lying
about you to their families. No amount of
smiles, and yes, ma'am, I will do it right
away ma'am, is going to change their minds.
It is a guilt thing they do on their families
to get out of there. How bad things are
there and how bad you are. And some of
the families know because they watched
20/20 or such, have seen those thieving,
rough, abusive aides on TV and you look
just like them.

The other 65% are a pleasure, they will
break your heart, make you smile, make
you laugh, make you cry, and endure in
your heart for years. They will tell you
thank you. And when you come back from
vacation, they will tell you how much they
missed you. And that is why you are there.
That is why you will last for years at the job.

They say objectivity, you have to have it to
endure in the job. And for the most part
that is true. Because if you don't have it...
you will be eaten alive with stress, hurt,
and take everything to heart. But you
can also have a heart. In fact, if nothing
bothers you, maybe, just maybe you
shouldn't be there. Because you have to
be awful cold hearted not to be affected
by these people.

I have held a lady in my arms as she died.
I have hum Jesus loves Me, as a woman
was dying. I have read passages in the
bible to many residents over the years.
Most the time on my own time the first
10 years. On Noc shift you have more time,
so you can do these things. I have sat near
the bed, and hummed Amazing Grace.
I have sat silently by the bed and held their
hands. I have hugged their family as well.
The family is important as the resident,
but in the last stages, they need us too. We
have laughed with them, we have held
them as they cried. And if they couldn't
be there, we have talked about the last moments.
This is all things we have done because we
wanted to. We didn't have to, we wanted to.

When you go in and take care of residents
in a health care center, you have to
remember what they gave up. They have
given up their homes. Be it ranches, farms,
big house or apartments in exchange for a
8 by 10 living space. They now share a room
with a total stranger 99% of the time. Some
one who might take their things. Which
talking about their possessions, they go from
rooms of furniture and all their things, to
their clothing, a few knickknacks and if they
are lucky a favorite chair. Only the ones who
can afford a private room, will fair better.
So think about it...8x10 feet. Jails have
probably as much room.

So try to put yourself in their shoes.
When they are short with you, when
they tell you they hate it there. That
their families brought them there to
died, think about it. How would you feel?
A few pictures, clothes, a knickknack
that might be taken, clothes that if your
name is not marked on it, might just
show up on some one walking by. So
you have to understand how they feel.

So it takes a lot of compassion, a lot of
stamina, a lot of heart, endurance, and
when you think you can't do it anymore,
something will give you a boost. A smile,
a thank you, it is small but it will give you
unexpected energy. You will have your
heart pulled, as you deal with death.
Cancer takes it total on a lot of them, yet
they will find a secret place to be brave,
to endure, and be an inspiration to you.
You are suppose to be holding them up,
when it is them who hold you up. It is amazing.
You will applaud as they take their steps,
after a stroke. Any tiny step forward with
a foot, a hand to their mouth, a word that
came out, that meant what they were trying
to say. You are their champion, and they are yours.
I did this job for 17 plus years. I wouldn't
change a thing with the residents. I might
have even still been there, if it wasn't for the
Administration. That is the part that will pull
an aide down to their knees.

I left because I worked for the residents.
I was their advocate, I made sure they kept
their dignity as much as possible. I kept
their confidence. And when it came to being
about the building and not the resident, I
knew it was time to go. I knew I could not
fight the battle anymore. I pray for those aides
who work so hard. They keep going, no matter
how the public or their bosses views them.

I was a Registered Certified Nurses Aide and
I was and am proud of that to this day. On
my last morning, I walked around and hugged
the aides good bye. I walked out of the building.
I stopped and looked back. And thank God for
letting me be his humble servant. I thank God
for letting me do it right. And turn and got in
my truck and drove away. No company party,
which is how I like it... but no letter of thank you,
for your years of service, which that I would
have liked. But it was expected of that company,
that is just they way they are.

Remember you are there for ALL your
residents. You will have favorites, it can't
be helped. But your job is be there for the
ornery ones as well as the sweet ones. If they
are angry, or upset in anyway, it isn't at you.
It is at the situation. You are just the person
that is available to vent against. Also you are
not happy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
365 days a year. Neither will they be. Do your
work and give them space. If they need an
encouraging word or a hug, give it to them.
It isn't so much your job, it is what you want
to do.... if you have the real heart of an aide...
it is what is inside of you.

I know in the land of computers and on line,
people copy and paste things they see. So I
can't prevent you from doing it. But I do ask,
if you will at least ask me if you can do it. I
don't want it to be used for commerical
purposes. But would be glad to ok use for
yourself, or fellow aides. And gladly
ok it for teachers of nurses aides.
Thank you... the
Wordtosser....8/26/05

SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A NURSES AIDE part two

The job itself....at a health care center

It depends on which shift you work.
There are three shifts. Depending on
which facility you work at, what the
times are. But it averages, 6am...day shift
2pm...Eve shift... and 10pm...Noc shift.

If you work the 6am. You go in and get
a report from the Noc shift aides. You
want to know if there are any changes
that happen in the last 16 hours since
you left. That can be anything from a
behavior change to, physical change
(stroke, raised temperature and etc.).
You get your supplies to start your shift.
That is linen's cart, dirty linen barrels
and etc. It differs from facility to facility.

Then there is the start of the shift.
If you are working the day shift, it is
your duty with your partner, to get the
residents up, dress, and groomed in
time for breakfast. Some facilities have
the Noc shift help get some of these
residents up. As in the previous blogging,
you have about 5 -7 minutes to totally
get this resident ready. As you have an
average of 20 resident between you and
your partner to get up.

You always knock on the door before
entering the room. Giving a little bit of
time to adjust to you entering. Then
address them by name, and say good
morning, and why you are there. If you
have a person who can respond to you,
you ask them what they would like to wear.
If they don't know, you ask what color
they like for that day. Some of these
residents dress themselves. But they are
in the 10% of the residents. Another 10%
of them can dress the top half or can do
the grooming themselves. The other 80%
you have to totally dress and groom them.
Grooming is washing their faces, brush teeth,
and brush their hair.
Because you are running on a clock
situation, the fastest way to do this is
the following. Pull the curtain around
the bed, so you have privacy.
Put their socks on, then their pants,
and then their shoes, from the bottom
of the bed. Talk to them while doing
this. These are human beings, not logs,
in a bed. Treat them as you would
want to be treated. With dignity. Then
change their Attends (or what ever
brand they use) Be sure to clean that
area well before putting on the fresh one.
After the Attends is in place, pull
up the pants to the waist. Some
who can't move at all, you will have
to roll them over back and forth
until you get this done. Then sit
the resident on the side of the bed.
Place the gait belt around their
waist. Explaining what you are
doing and about to do. Placing
your feet well, so that you have
a solid foundation, you count and
lift, and turn and place the person
in the wheel chair. Put their foot
pedals on the chair. Then start to
change from gown to shirt. This
is easier if you have them placed
in the wheelchair, than it is in the
bed. After getting the upper part
dress, start with the grooming.
Combing hair, rinse off false teeth,
and making sure the person looks
good. If they can do their own teeth
and hair, then set them up with the
side table and you can make the bed
while they do that. Get the call light
where they will be able to reach it.
Make sure their water glass is within
reach and refreshed. When they are
ready to go, then turn on their TV so
they can watch their favorite show,
while you get the rest of the residents
up. As it will be a while before they are
taken down to eat breakfast. Then you
continue on. If the person is a two person
lift, you do the same until it comes time
to get the person up out of bed. Then
you get your partner to help you lift that
person, with gait belt on. Or a Hoyer if
needed. Then continue on. You will also
be called on by your partner to help
them lift their resident that they are
dressing.

Some facilities have a bath team.
Some don't. If you have a bath team,
then there might be some residents on
your floor that you won't have to get
dressed. As the bath team will after
they bathe them. There is a daily list,
and you are to always be aware of who
and when. Even it is you who will have
to get the resident bathed. If you have
to, then you will know which ones will
get their baths before breakfast, and
which ones after. Their beds are to have
a total change if it is their bath day.
Clean body, clean linens. In the larger
facilities it is on a 4 day rotation
.
After you have gotten the total floor up
and then into the dining room in the
hour and half that you have had.
Then it is time to get the meals in front
of the resident in a timely fashion.
Some eat by themselves, some need
encouragement to eat by themselves,
some need a limited help, with cutting
food and then there is the restorative
resident who needs help. And then the
ones who are to be fed.

This time is a social like time for
the residents. The more sociable ones
will talk among themselves. If you are
a restorative aide, you talk to your resident
to encourage them to eat, and to
encourage their effort in feeding
themselves. If you are an aide who
feeds a resident then you talk to them.
This is not the social hour for the aides.
You don't talk about what party you went
to last night, what happen at the bar
you were at, the fight between you and
your husband, the fight with your kids
or friends. All of this is inappropriate.
By talking over the resident you are
making them feel like they are not there,
and you don't care about them.
If you want to relate a funny story about
your kids,husband or friends, to the
resident themselves, that is fine. They
want to feel like they belong. And they
can always use a good laugh.

After everyone is done in the dining
room, then it is time to make sure those
residents who need reminding, to go to
the bathroom. The ones who can't go by
themselves, then you take them. Lifting
from the wheel chair to the toilet. And
then there are those who have no control
over their bladder or bowels, so you lay
them down and change them. This has to
be done in about an hour's time, as activity
time comes up about an hour after meals.
Also thru this you and your partner, rotate
to take a quick 15 minute break.

After activities then you get the residents
ready for lunch. Some of your residents
didn't go to activities and were laid down
instead. So this is the time you get them up.
Also thru this time you and your partner
rotate a lunch half hour. Usually getting
the residents you can by yourself, and
leaving the two person lifts to when your
partner returns from lunch.

Lunch pretty much goes by the same as
the breakfast. After lunch it is time for all
the residents to lay down, with the exception
of the more alert ones. You lay down each
one after you toilet each one. Removing
their pants, and getting them under covers.
And if you are the one who bathes the
residents, then you do so and laid them
down. If there is a bath team, they will
do it for you.

If you are the Eve. crew, you start your
shift the same way as the day shift. Report,
supplies and then going to get the residents
up. You have it a little easier as you have
a lot of the residents half dressed already.
Then you get them ready in an hour time
for afternoon activities. During this time
you and your partner rotate your lunch.
Then there is dinner. Same routine as the
day shift has for meals. Some facilities
have an after dinner activities. That is
when you and your partner rotate your
15 minute break. Then there is the rush
to get all residents, clean up, teeth brushed
(false teeth removed and soaking), in a
gown, while on the toilet in hopes the
bowels will move.Otherwise enema's
are given,if it has been more than 3 days.
After they are laid down for the night.

Noc shift starts off like the other two
shifts. Report, supplies, and then going
to check your residents to make sure
they are all ok, and no one has fallen.
Then you get the ice and replace glasses
and pitcher, ice and water at each bed
that each resident is able to have water.
As there are some who have trouble
swallowing, so are not allowed glasses
of water. We do have thicken water
that we can give instead.

Then it is time to make your round.
Rounds are every 2 hours. You check
each and every resident. If they need
changing, you clean and change. If
they need help getting to the toilet, you
help them go. If they just need reminding
then you wake them and remind them.
All the time you are doing this, there are
buzzers going off. As there are those who
are mentally alert, who will turn on their
call light/buzzer(this happens on all shifts)
and want to have something. Anything from
being put on a bedpan, to a drink of water,
or the nurse and etc. You are to answer this
call light as soon as you possible can. Even if that
means you have to stop your round, to answer
those call lights. If you have a good nurse,
they will answer the light while you are on
rounds, if they aren't busy.

Around 1:30am you have a lunch break.
Being the Noc crew does not have two
person per floor, there has to be someone
from the other floor who will watch your
floor while you are on your lunch time.
Also if you have a good nurse they will also
watch over the floor. And then when you
get back.. you watch their floor.

Some faculties require you, at 5:30am,
to start getting some residents up for the
day. It is a harsh time for the elderly as
they have to be occupied for 2 and half
hours before breakfast, and usually fall
asleep in their chairs. So you need to start
your 4 o'clock round and get thru it, do
your paper work and hand in anything the
nurses require of you. So you can start at
5:30am with the getting up residents.

Which brings me to the fact you have
paper work to do, lots of it. There is
documentation for bowels and bladder,
for every shift. There is documentation of
vitals (blood pressure, temps, and pulse)
for each shift. There is I and O's (intake
and output) sheets to fill out for each shift.
These are all extremely important for the
health of the resident. Any which one of
these can fore see a problem before it gets
bad. Bowels, it is blockage, if they aren't
moving at least every other day. Bladder
could be a shut own of the kidneys or liver.
Vitals, will show a raise in temp or blood
pressure. I always like to get the vitals done
as soon as possible into the shift, and give
it to the nurse, so they can be on top of things.

If you have a good partner, and with Noc's
crew, a good crew, your life as an aide is
doable. It is never a picnic. But it goes well.
There is good days and bad days, like with
any other job. Some days are fast but smooth.
And other days, everything that can go wrong,
does. When the flu or virus goes thru the
building it is hell. Not only because of the
residents, being sick and cleaning up after
them, and the extra work that goes with that.
But also the crew gets it as well, and you will
work shorthanded, and it is no ones fault.
That is just life. The difference between an
office job and being an aide, is that in the
office, things can come to a stand still, and
be made up later. Hard but can be done.
In the nursing dept. you have lives that
depend on you. Not just the crew, the
residents have to have some one there
24 hours a day. Many of times, I as well
as a good many others, worked sick.
You knew they had no one else to pull from.
And at least you were still standing. Slow,
but still standing. So you went in and you
got thru the shift. You knew you weren't
going to spread it, because that is where
you got it from. I remember years ago,
there were 3 of us working. One of the girls
went home Her family came and got her.
The other girl and myself, did our rounds
and hers. We didn't have an lunch time.
We didn't care, we didn't want to eat.
We stood against the wall, hoping the
building would stop, moving. But we got
thru that.. there are nurses aides who are
like that. That same aide had a heart attack
one night. One aide went home an hour
earlier, because she was sick to her stomach.
The aide didn't want to say anything, and
had hoped she could last the shift, because
she didn't want to leave them with one aide
and a nurse. Finally she said something to
the nurse... the nurse told her to go, she
would call some one in early. The aide drove
herself to the hospital, and 45 minutes later
a helicopter was taking her to Spokane.

The old time nurses aides are a tough
bunch. And always worried about the
residents or letting their crew down. We
have seen a lot over the years. We have cried,
we have mourn the dying of our residents
as well as some of our fellow workers.
We have laughed. Some times for relief.
Some times because the residents have
been humorous. Some times the times
have been humorous. Maybe I should do
a blog on the humorous times. Have to
gather up some of my former workers,
and start some writings. We have
watched as God kept residents alive for
their family to make it there, to say
good bye. And we have held family
as they cried. And those who didn't
make it in time. And we have hugged
our fellow workers who have gone
thru some bad times themselves.
You also have to remember that it is
good team work that makes the job
go smoothly. It is a team of your nurse,
your partner, and yourself. There are
others who are involved. Restorative
Aides, Physical Therapist, Activity
aides, all of you...You are a team.
Work together. Try to keep a positive
attitude, negativity drags everyone down
and it not in the best interest of the resident.
And that is who you are there for..foremost.

I retired December of 2003, so
some of this has changed. But I doubt
very much has.
Tomorrow... part 3...
"what you need inside yourself to be a good aide."

SO YOU WANT TO BECOME A NURSES AIDE

If this comes out right, this should
be 3 parts.
Today is about employment
Tomorrow part 2 will be about the job
and Friday will be part 3 and to me the
most important part. The who you have to
be, to do the job well.

So you want to become a Nurses Aide
part one -

Employment

Becoming a nurses aide is relatively easy.
You got to have the money and the time.
Unless you get it under the unemployment
program that they have from time to time.
And then the state will pay for it. It is pretty
expensive now. When I took the classes
thru NIC/Employment Office, it was about
$56. Now it is over $100. But they also get
to do more than we did. They go to hospitals,
different nursing homes, home health,
and even get to go see an autopsy, I have
heard.

We sat in a class room for 3 months twice
a week. From 9 to noon. With a mid time
break. We did all book work for the first
month and half. We had a mid-term test
on that. Then we did hands on, but still in
the class room. Meaning they had a bed
there, so we learn how to make it right and
how to make it with some one in it. We
learn to take blood pressures on each other.
Take temperatures and pulse. We learn to
lift from bed to chair and back. And how to
lift with two people lifting and a Hoyer lift.
That is a crane looking thing that is about
5 feet high. All this you get to learn in CNA
(Certified Nurses Aide) classes. When you
get done with CNA classes you will have
two test. One is a class room, paper test.
Then you will have a on hands test.
And now you become registered as well
as certified. They didn't start registering
until 1989, in Idaho.. We had to go thru
classes again, but this time it was shorter
as we were already Certified. So when I
passed my exams, I added an R. to my
name. RCNA. Because I was Registered,
Certified Nurses Aide. Of which the
running joke is we were glorified bed
pan handlers.

But the truth of the matter is, we were
a lot more. We had way more to do with
our resident/patient than the nurses did.
We dressed, groom, bathed, fed, and
did physical therapy with our residents.
The difference between a resident and a
patient was where they were at. If it was
a hospital, it is a patient. If it is a nursing
home like place, then they were residents.
And if it is someone's home, then it was
a client. Also they don't call them nursing
homes anymore. They are called Health
Care Centers. Also there is assisted living
quarters. Which is a place where some
one needs limited help. Usually they serve
meals and have some one do your laundry,
and help in the shower if you need it.

I worked in a Health Care Center. It was
a nursing home when I started. I worked
for 17+ years in the same building. Under
5 different Administrations, 7 different
Director of Nurses, and 5 different owners,
and the staff was a constant turn over.
Very few nurses made it to 10 years in one
place. Very few nurses aides made it to
15 years and rarely made it pass the 25 year
mark. You will see aides who range from
17 to 83 years of age. Yes, I said 83. When
I worked we had 3 different aides who
worked there over the age of 70. There
were at least 10, including myself who
work there over the age of 60. But 2/3
of the group range from 17 to 50.

The job itself, was hard work. If you
think you want to sit and talk to the
resident and help them write letters,
and visit with them, may I suggest
working home health. You have time
there. You have usually 4 hours to do
what you have for each client. In a
health center you have approximately
5 total minutes to totally dress, and
groom each resident. You usually have
20 residents to take care with another
aide. If you are lucky. I say if you are
lucky, because they have so many call-ins,
that it is not uncommon for you to work
alone. You might find some one who will
help you lift the two person lift residents.
But the rest of the time you are on your
own.

Some centers will tell you that this
rarely happens, but I will be honest with
you and tell you it happens often. If you
have steady partners, (a rotation of 3 of
you. you work 2 days with one, and 2 days
with the other... as your rotation is usually
4 days on and 2 days off) If you have good
partners, they will rarely call off. And
work can be pretty good. But if you have
those who will call for the dangest reasons,
or a younger one who parties and calls
every weekend, then work is rough. And
you could be on your own a lot. Also the
turn over gets rough. As they can have
any where from 2 to 10 quit within a
weeks time.

In the days I started, there
was people who were on call. They
were people who were trying to get a
steady job there, and could be called
at 5am to come in at 6am. Or for the
afternoon shift or the late shift. Now
there is so many who come and go,and
higher paying jobs else where, there
isn't a on call list like that. For a while
a on call list was the list of names of
all the aides who had the day off. And
that is why a lot of aides put caller Id
on their phones. An on call list now
consist of people who have been told
that they will have their names on a list,
if called you come in.. and you will
be paid extra for that. Maybe.

In the old days..(lol, that is what us
older ones say) we use to get paid for
anything over 8 hours. No matter
how many days you worked that
week. With a 4/2 rotation, there are
weeks where you work 4 days. Because
you would have the Sunday - Monday
off... and then have Saturday -Sunday
off. Or you would have Saturday - Sunday
off and then Friday-Saturday off. Then
some one in the powers that be, figured
out that they could save money if they
only paid overtime for over 40 hours.
So those who only worked 4 days that
week and were called in to cover for a
weekend day.. got straight time.
We were not happy. You see if you are
on a 4/2 rotation... you only get 9 weekends
off a year. That is 9 out of 52. So your
weekend were precious to you. So you
don't want to give them up for straight
time. (a lot of times you don't want to
give them up for overtime either).
It was especially madden when you
got called in for a weekend.

If you were TOLD you were on call,
you had to stay home until the shift
started. Then you could go do what
ever you wanted to plan. Us older ones,
thought some how that was not legal.
But no one really protested enough to
get it changed, I guess we all knew it
was on deaf ears. And about the time
they put that into service is when I retired.
Also like all service jobs, you don't automatically
get holidays off. If the rotation comes up, like a
lottery, you get it off. Otherwise, you have to
ask for it off 45 days before. And like Christmas
it is the first come first serve deal.

On top of all this you are required
to do what they call IN-SERVICES.
You had to have 24 hours of in-services
a year. In-services were like a class.
You were taught different things that
we were doing in our job. Some of it
was the same thing, or the same movie,
you had been watching for years.
There was one movie, where we older
ones were saying the words for the
actors, we had seen it so much. We
got chilled for that because it was
distracting for the new aides. But
they did finally retire the movie.
And you couldn't just show up for
any in-service... that you liked...
there was a list of required in-services.
CPR, fire fighting, evacuation and a
few others were mandatory. You got
paid for this in-service time. But most
of the time it was on your day off, and
you had to come in at 1 p.m. or 2 p.m.
At the end I was working, what we called,
the Noc shift. Which was from 10 pm
to 6 am. So getting up at noon to make
it in for an in-service was not our idea
of a wonderful thing. We did have one
In-service nurse who did have them at
6:30 am so we could go after work
like the day shift. But that only lasted
as long as she was there, and of course
with the nurses turn over being almost
as bad as the aides, that wasn't long.

We had the best of Administrators/owners
and we had the worse of them. We had
ones who would listen to us. Even if
they didn't agree they still gave the
time to vent. If it was something they
could fix they would try. There were
company picnic's and Christmas
parties away from the building.
And they had good by parties for
long time employees.

Then we had owners who didn't
care what the staff had done in
the past. They had their way. Some
of their ways were good. And some
of their ways were horrible. We had
some people who retired after 15 years
and 20 years, with not so much as
a good bye. If it wasn't for the fellow
employees, they would have nothing.

Well, that is how the employment went.
Next part two...the job itself.

Other People Influence/bad

Eleanor Roosevelt said something like ...
No one can bother you unless you let them....

Seems like all it takes is a few words
of negativity And you are nailed.
You really have to talk to yourself
to turn it around.

To talk yourself out of letting those
negative words hurt you.And what
is really a zinger is the fact it can
be a stranger who will bug you, or
you let bug you... someone who
doesn't even have a clue who you are.

How can they make the remarks
like that, when they don't know how
you feel or react or what kind of person
you are? Yet there you are letting this
person in to tear you apart.They have
left the building, they may have never seen you.
You may never have seen them...
but you are letting this remark get to you.

So how do you let this go?
Consider the source is a starter.
Don't let some one else's
negativity bring you down.

But it goes back to the words.
ONLY IF YOU LET THEM.

Life's Enjoyable Times

Running late today, was on duty..lol..
The schools are gearing up for the
opening day. So took my grandson in
early for locker sign up.
Then I got caught up in checking
out my email. And because of this
weekend, there was a LOT of it.

Which brings me to the weekend and
the title.

We were expecting one of our son's
and his family to come from the coast
to see us. And they arrived Friday
afternoon, just about the time that
Sweetie got off work. I was walking
around the front yard with my son and
looking at the fence we put in since
they had been here, when a red car drives
into my drive way. I looked at the driver
and then a flash of recognition. It was
my oldest son and his wife.
What a wonderful surprise.

These two sons (and I do have 4) are
not only brothers but they are soul mates.
I have twins, but most people mistake
these two for the twins. (Or the other two
for the twins, they are both blondes)
And in the line of kids, they are #3
and #7. Or the oldest son and the
youngest son. They have two great wives
who happen to be best friends as well.
So that makes it wonderful for the two boys.
When it comes to in-laws, I have been
blessed with the best. My children have
chosen well. We have a running joke in
our family. No Refunds. That means I
won't take any of my kids back, that my
in-law kids are stuck with them.

So this weekend was just a great laid
back time of visiting. We didn't go anywhere.
They got motel rooms, which had
adjoining pool. The kids had a blast in
the pool. The adults who wanted to, went
to the flea market. The guys worked on
cars. And it was all just good fun. Even
when one of the boys tried to pull Sweetie's
chain by sliding sideways, into the gravel drive
way. (Sweetie didn't see it, but big brother did)
and so did Mom and the rest of the family.

Sweetie is a great cook. He made big
breakfasts for everyone and great B-B-
Q's for dinners. No one left hungry.
The local grandson came over and
spent some time with the coast cousins.
And life is good. Local grandson wants
a family reunion type get together next
year at his house.

You know, as we age, and our children
get older, there is the icing on the cake
of life. And that is when your kids come
to visit. You watch your adult children
handle their own children, which that can
be a blast in itself. And you get to see your
grandchildren starting to turn into
adult themselves.

Yes, life is good... and the chain of life
goes on, and you get to, if you are lucky,
watch as it grows.

SMALL TOWN FOR SALE

Locally here, there is a small town
put up for sale. For the mere price
of $675,000. Which isn't a bad price
considering how the market is going
these days. It is suppose to be a 20
lots/4 acre town. Founded in 1909.
I don't know what kind of town it was
built for years ago? A train
whistle-stop? A logging town, as
most of them are?

They call it an abandoned 4 acre
town. But for those of us around here,
it is very much alive. Granted, it is
mainly a one building to us. It is a
combo store, and restaurant. The
best food. The best breakfast around
and hamburger. And it only seats
about 24. To most of us locals, it is
the secret we don't want to let out.
As there was one in Ponderay, Idaho
called Hoot Owl, that was like this
and now you can't get a seat there.
This is one of the last Mom and Pop
type places around here.

And now they are going to sell the
area. I don't know if the store/restaurant
is part of the deal or not. Probably.
As the traveler on Highway 95, only
sees this part. There is quite a bit to
Elmira. Land wise. The town is a
small part of the Elmira area. If you
blink your eyes, you will be pass it,
the town itself.

But I can see what progress will do
to this little town. The owner or real
estate agent have in mind a western
town. Maybe a pioneer theme town.
But I can see some one from down
south, having visions of a truckstop
complex. There really isn't one for
about 100 miles or more around.
And this is one of the main trucking
routes from Boise, Spokane, and etc,
to the Canadian border.

Reminds me of Roger Miller's song,
King of the Road...
Small town for sale or rent.... .........

Wasted Words, Wasted Time....

"Should have"
"Could have"
"If Only"
And "If I were you"...

Shoulda, and Coulda the slang for
the first two, are word pals. Some
times used in place of each other,
or with each other.

"Should have"... we say with regrets of
something we did or did not do.
"Could have"... we say with regrets of
something you could have done,
and didn't.
Regrets is a place we should not
spend a long time at. Instead of
"Should have"/"Could have"...
we should replace it with ...
Next time I will do it better.
Next time... and then let go of it.

"If Only" is worse than Should
have/could have. Because we
spend so much time there. I use
to, when I was in my 30's spend
many nights... Hours of the night..
many hours of the night. Hashing over
IF ONLY I had done it this way.
IF ONLY, I had said this,
IF ONLY I had found the strength
to stick it out longer, MAYBE,
(which follows IF ONLY around a lot).
IF ONLY, I had done this, or said
that, MAYBE he wouldn't have gone
and done this. MAYBE the kids would
have done this or that. After about
4 years and so many restless sleep,
so many wasted hours, I decided not
to spend time on IF ONLY anymore.
I learn that if I did something, I did it
with the best judgement I had at the time.
So spending hours second guessing
myself was a waste and to get over it.
So every time I found myself start with
IF ONLY, I would tell myself to STOP.
It is over, it can't be redone. You made
a decision, now live with it. If you don't
like how it turn out, next time take
longer judging. Which allowed
me to sleep. It isn't easy, because we
beat ourselves up, far more than anyone
else would. But it can be done.

Then there is the dumb remark.
IF I WAS YOU....
No one can be me, no one can
have my feelings about things,
my direction in life. Been where
I have been, and that is what makes
me. Just as I can never ever be
you. Yet people use that phase,
over and over. Why it was never
replaced with, if that were to happen
to me, I would handle it this way.

Myself, I try not to tell anyone how to
do anything unless they ask me.
And those who know me well, don't
ask me, because I don't have tact
and usually tell people exactly what
I think. I don't say it rudely, just I say
it how I see it. But I usually start it off
with, have you thought of it this way?
Hopefully that is better.

GOOSEBUMPS

Puzzle....36 years of unknown....
Connect the dots... all names of
what to call today's blog. I settled on
Goosebumps because the story
gives me goosebumps still. This is a
true story. I promise you it is. I don't
have the permission of the two men
to use their names. Without that,
I won't say who they are.
But the story I need to tell you...

And article in a newspaper,
an aftermath remark,
an email,
and phone call.
Connecting the dots. This is going to
be a long blog today... But hang in there,
it will be worth the ride.

A couple of days ago, a local paper ran
an article about a farmer and how he is
selling his property, save 4 acres. So I
asked someone if they knew the farmer
as this person knows most of the old farmers
in the area. He looked and said yes,
even told where the farm was, and
different things about it. Then as the
person walked away, he said and the
son was a friend of Man1. That Son
and Man1 had hunted together as teens,
and went to school together.
Then he walked away. .

Peaking my interest, I emailed Man1.
Asked him if he remember this childhood
relationship. A while later, I got a email
back that was goosebumps. Yes, he
remember the childhood friend. So very
well. And here is where the goose
bumps started.
He thought the childhood friend was dead.

See after school both join the Army.
But ended up in two different units.
One went to Sniper school and the other
Ranger school. They came across each
other in Vietnam. Man 1 had a picture
somewhere in an album of the last time
he saw him. And could I find an address
or phone number for this son. I quickly
ran and got the phone book for the area
that son was now living in. And there was
one name in the book. So I emailed the
phone number and the parents incase
that wasn't the son.

The next day, Man1's wife called the
number and handed it to her husband.
And 36 year gap was filling in. Both thinking
the other was dead. Such joy for both
of them. Man1 is not going to be available
for 2 weeks. But they have decided as soon
as Man1 is done, he will travel to the area
where Son is living and they will meet
face to face after 36 years.

Why did they think each one was gone?
Man1 had some time off (3 days) so he
went to see if he could find Son and his unit.
What he found out was Son's unit had been
in a battle and all were killed. Leaving
Man1 devastated, and a 2 day drunk.

What actually had happen, was Son
was transfer temporary to another unit
as they needed help, just 2 days before
the battle. When he got back, he found
out his unit was gone, so stayed with the
temporary unit. Man1's unit had trouble
too, and Son was under the impression
that Man1, also was dead.
Goosebumps....

So in 2 weeks, 2 men will meet....
filling the black hole that they have
had in their lives, that has opened up
and filled with light.

Caused by a newspaper article,
aftermath remark,
email, and
a phone call.

I wish I could be there. I wish
I could get pictures of this joy.
But being a person of privacy,
I think this is one where just two men
and their wives, should be the ones there
....and besides who can take pictures
with tears in their eyes....

GOD is good........................

Things We Shouldn't do..But We Use to........

1. Go without shoes, and be dirty
from playing...
Because someone will turn in your
parents for negligent.

2. Don't swing out over the water
on a rope.
It is not safe and there is the insurance
part.Besides it probably is on someone's
private property

3. Don't walk thru the woods.
Probably private property and there
is the safety issue.

4. Don't go walking the lake or river side.
Probably own by private people,and
they will prosecute.

5. Don't walk home alone after 10 pm.
Curfew or chance of bodily harm

6. Don't steal watermelon or ears of corn.
That is against the law and owners will prosecute.

7. Don't walk in a church by yourself during
the week....
It is locked now, too much vandalism

8. Don't ride any school bus except your own.
You have to have a note from your parents.

9. Don't put stuffing in the turkey and
cook it all night long on low.
They say there is a threat of salmonella

10. Don't give chocolate to dogs. Or pork
chop bones.
They say it will kill the dog

11. Don't let your kids run the neighborhood.
There are people out there who will do bodily
harm to them

12. Don't play dodge ball
It hurts, and could cause low self esteem

13. Don't ride your bike on either side of the road.
You will get a ticket from the police officer.

14. Don't let your buddy ride on the bike with you.
See #13.

15. Don't let people ride in the back, in the
pickup bed of your truck.
See #13

16. Don't roller-skate down the sidewalk or road.
see #13

17. Don't let your kids sell lemonade,
without a license, for pocket money.
SEE #13.....

I sure am glad I was a child of the 1940's

Maybe I am Not in Tune

I don't know if it is me or Sandpoint.
I know it is tourist season, but I get a
feeling I don't belong down there anymore.
There are a few times a year during
the summer that I will go thru the
merry-go-around, music chairs of
traffic to see something down there.
1. is the 4th of July parade.
2. is the Arts and Crafts fair.

I went down this Saturday about 1pm.
That is mean time in Sandpoint. No, I
don't mean the word meantime...
I mean the two separate words...
mean as in horrible, and time as
well, you know what I mean. Boy,
there is a lot of mean word in that
sentence.
Anyway, it was wicked traffic...
Played the game of hop scotch thru
the traffic until I turn down towards
the Beach. Because I live life on the
positive side. I knew I would find a
close parking spot. But it was musical
chairs as we drove around and around
and around the parking lot. But finally
I found one. I walked thru the parking
lot and dodging cars. And then for an
hour and half I walked thru the Arts and
Craft show. I walked around it 4 times
to make sure I saw everything.

During that time I came across one friend.
Which was odd as I usually see at least 6 to
8 friends there each year. Also as I walked
around, the crafts were not the usual...
For one thing I did not see anything under
$20 and most of it was over $50. Way
more than this country girl had in her
pocket. But it was not what I call practical
things. Meaning it was things to decorate
your house or yard. But not something
that you would use every day. Like they
use to have towels with the knitted deal on
it so you could hang it on your drawer
handle. Shirts, and stuff like that.

It was all nice things. But I would
classify it under the objects of.....
I can appreciate the work in the objects
but I wouldn't want to own one.
$35 and up for a glass ball to hang on
my porch, or where ever. Antlers for
lamps and etc. I don't think I would be
exaggerating if I said 90% of it was in the
$50 to $200 price range. That just isn't
me. Nor a lot of my friends... (maybe
that is why they weren't there.) Use to
have tie dye shirts and I don't know, just
some neat stuff with lower price range.
I heard that Bayview's was a lot better.
Also the music, was not like in the past.
They had a great variety but not like the
ones of the past. No, country, blues, and
etc. Most of it was wall paper music.
The guy playing a steel guitar was more
like the music you play that has sounds
of nature, that you go to sleep with. Even
the people were different. Can't explain it.

So I left. 2 people were poised to jump
to my parking space and it took me 15
minutes of slowly inching forward to get
to the bridge. Stopping on the bridge
several times. Long enough to get a picture
of the geese and swans on the creek.
Then, of course,the rat race of getting out
of town. But at the last minute I went down
Second Ave. and parked near the hospital
and walked down to the Coldwater Creek
area. 1 Park Place I think they call it.
And listen to some group, I have no idea
who they were, but they were good(kind
of like Grateful Dead type) and the small
group of people enjoyed it. I stayed about
45 minutes and headed for home.

So I guess I will count that one off my
list of "worth fighting the traffic for".