Like pushing jello thru a key hole

Like pushing jello thru a key hole

                                

We had a performance at church last Sunday.

It was the end of Vacation Bible Study week.

So the kids sang to us..

It is always a hoot to watch as the age group looks like about 4 to 8 years old.  There were hand motions to go with a few of the songs.  And sing they did. Some of them as loud as they could with much enthusiasm as possible.  Others were meek. And

Some were in the background, kind of bored by the 4 song… looking at the ceiling, over at their parents and waving.. at their feet.   One little guy kept moving a taller one to the side.

They all did a great job, and I am betting the teacher were so glad it was over for another year… Like I said.. dealing with kids and getting them all to do the same thing at the same time…is like pushing jello thru the key hole.

BULLY=SUICIDE

Bully = Suicide

Why in the 1930-40’s even the 50’s and even maybe

60’s where there wasn’t the number of suicide in teens,

as there are today?  Especially associated with bullying?

And there was bullying in those years. Were we tougher?

Were we raised tougher?  

Was there shame in suicide? I think there was. But even so…  Now with stars and athletics committing brings less shame? Definitely the times were different. Again, did shame   enter the equation? Like mental illness?

In the 1920’s to the 1950’s it was not unheard of a mentally unbalance person to be hid in the home. Kept in a room or and even the attic or those of money were institutionized.  So when one committed suicide the death certificated said something else and no one spoke of it?

But children… 9 years old…11year olds and teens, were unheard of. Because of bullying.. unheard of.  Yes, we had bullying. Many adults in their 50’s to their 80’s will tell you they were bullied. Especially in the cities, it was really hard.

Even country life had their share of bullying.

So other than society being different…. Why are young children .. 9 to 17 committing suicide?  As many as 3 a

School year.. which is 3 too many.  Even with, no bullying campaigns, schools who say they have a “no bullying policy”, no bullying allowed at all. Either don’t have a handle on it or it is out of their hands because it is after school, off

school grounds.  Even with the “you are not alone” campaigns, there is still suicides.

Some are bullied by internet sites. Are parents monitoring their children cell phone/internet use?

I didn’t have internet when I was raising my children. There was no internet nor cell phone.  I count my blesses for that.

But if we could have afforded (which we couldn’t have with as many kids as we had) I think I would be on it (hind sight is easier)  I would have monitored my kids use.  I am paying the bill, so I get to make the rules.  And if I saw my kid being bullied on there. I would shut down their accounts.  If they had cell phones.. they would have been phones only… And guarded on who had that number.  But like I say, easier said. Also a lot of kids are closed mouth about their internet use.  But again monitor your kids use. Shut down what you can. Remember you are paying for the services….. your rules. 

Many years ago....

                                                     the youngest and the oldest...

Today, my oldest daughter, Julie would have been 58.

Just stating that… still hurts… as she passed away last year

In May. Just one month exactly to the day of her 57^th birthday.

Over the years we had a roller coaster relationship.  Some of it because she was trying to make me more than what I am.

She thought I should have spent more time with her..

without interference of her siblings…  It took until she was almost 50 and a divorce with her children being young adults, to learn that you love all of your children equal, no matter what the circumstances are.  Those living closer aren’t love any more than those who are living far away.  That when you have a slew of kids.. like I do… I loved each and everyone equal. I love them because they are different… they are their own persons.  You are closer to some than others because you live closer or maybe you have more in common with some of them more than others. The ones you don’t have as much in common, you champion their differences, you are proud of what they have become.  You understand that they have a busy life, and you aren’t always talking to them daily. All of which does not make them lesser in your eyes.. 

And I think Julie learned that as her kids grew up.

Wish it hadn’t taken so long for us to mend that fence. Some times we get so busy with life, we don’t stop and think. We figure… oh, well, they will come around.  And life goes by.

Luckily for the two of us… we did mend that fence almost 3 years before she passed.  Which makes losing her harder.

Luckily I got to get her to understand, that I loved her.. that I had always loved her, even when I didn’t like her much. (smile).  And that I would ALWAYS LOVE HER… And she understood it… now.. We packed a good share of memories in the past years.. thankfully.  And I miss her..

THE PATH... update

Before...   with framing

arriving of the pumpers

Cement truck

 workers all working to get it poured and smooth

first part solidifying..

end of the path 

 FINISH PRODUCT

 MISTY APPROVED

TENT CITY... rain expected.. didn't want the water coming off of the roof and grooving the path

PURE JOY....  the next day ... approved by the kid..  now trike needed

I ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS...

I ask too many questions is what I have been told.

But how can one get all of the information with out all the answers.

And sometimes we leave out all the answers..  Some times we only give the answers we like.

I also don’t put enough information of my ideas or thoughts… Case in point was, a remark I made on Facebook… and was taken to task of far more than the subject I had in mind. It was about the children taken away from their mothers. Got all kinds of post and comments about the wonderful place these children are in.. Never had it better.  Well the last part might be true…  But the higher part of the comments were talking about how these children got separated from their parents …left them.. or their parents

already came to the USA without them.. That is the pictures we saw of the teens in the place of clean bathrooms, bed and video games. Yea, that probably is better than they had..  But my thoughts were not about the teens.

It was about the 2 year olds… the 4 year olds and 5 year olds they showed in a picture…  the ones in the cages are old history of Obama and even Bush days.    I don’t think the children ages 2 to 8 years old were coming across the border by themselves.. At least I would have been surprised..  But I guess I left out the concern of those ages in my comments.   My fault.

In honest truth, I don’t know what they did with the parents of years ago who had small children…..( one area had dirty diapers in the trail of 4 miles) so they had to be arrested with small children.

But I don’t recall ANY reports of taking the children away from their mothers.

The Trump group is saying the media  and the Democrat Liberals are using this subject for political gain..  Well, Trump group… your group is definitely using them for political gain..  Because I am betting that those mothers and children would be united this very night, if Congress made it possible for the Wall tomorrow…  In other words, political black mail.   

It disgust me.. for this Congress and Administration to use children for political gain…   Also I would not put it pass Trump’s group to put out all the pictures of these children… in cages and etc.. To rile

up the masses to get the Wall.. And the Walmart of

clean bathrooms and beds with video games.. came by the Republican gang to try to smooth over their mess.    I would be more impressed if they had showed the teens at desk and getting an education, with training in trades..  instead of video games.

The Past come to bite.....

The past come to haunt you… It is in the vehicle called Facebook. 

Those of us in our 50 to 70 or even 80’s see pictures of ourselves, put up by family or even friends. They are of us when we were in our teens or 20’s.. or worse yet.. younger.

And of course they are not the studio type pictures … of smiles.. but something you and I were doing when we were being foolish..  and some of you when you were partying, in not the most favorable sights.

Some are great, as it brings back great memories of great times.. and some are sad as we see those who did not make it as long as we did.

And if you are an adult grandchild… well, let me tell you.. your grandparents have long memories… AND they have pictures to back it up.  They will proudly post pictures of you in your dorkiest times. Times you might want to forget.. when you were chubby or had braces..

Some of these will bring memories of great times.. and you remember pictures taken,  when you looked great…  but sadly no one post those.. Ha-ha.. 

HAPPY GRADUATION...

YES… Mom, you will cry.. and Dad you will have a tear or two…  as your child walks across the stage to receive that magic little paper..

You will cry because.. you can’t believe you got this far and did not get killed or killed your child.. as there were many times, you wondered if they would last or even you.  There were good times..  not so good times and a lot of great times, thru those years.. Even making it thru the teachers meetings.

You will cry as you realize this child will move lock, stock and barrel (all but the stuff packed in boxes and put in your attic or garage, for the next 20 years) to move to college, with sharing a place with buddies… Some will still  go in the service.  And some will stay home with you while they get a job and leave the nest.

Worries will still be there. Drinking, people who will take advantage .. especially if they move across the country.

Erma Bombeck said that you stop worrying when they are 50 to 60 years old…  I figured out that she thought she would be dead by that time… so no worries.

So all of you parents, hang on… and remember, for the last 17 to 19 years you have been laying down a firm foundation for that child. Have faith that you did a good job and they will grow from there.  As you see them travel thru life’s bumps like you had to before… you will cringe, smile, and hopefully keep your mouth shut, unless asked for advise. And then don’t.. but give options..  Good Luck to you and the graduate.

Lost a day? missing Tuesday

For some reason, I was thinking today was Tuesday...  in fact I forgot a lot of stuff for yesterday. 

I forgot to go to the council meeting for City of Kootenai... 

I forgot to do the blog...

I even forgot in the am, until someone on Facebook said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!   lucky it was early morning, so 

we could recoup..  as the King forgot too..  

We had talked about it being 19 years a couple days ago. 

And how the weather is similar to that day...  wet, wind and cold. 

19 years ago, everyone who came to our outdoor wedding in our back yard, was in winter coats... So while the talk is how cold it is for June.. it actually is the norm. 

We have been busy .. should say the King has been busy... getting the walk way framed and dug out for the cement.. The pumper guy is suppose to come  today to give us an estimate... and hopefully by next week... we will have a walk way from the house to the back garage.  Which means .. no more rocks in the lawn

in the spring time... from the snowblower.  Which means I can walk barefooted to the little garage, and to the garden shed.  

Next up.. prepping and painting the little garage.. thankfully we don't have to do the big garage, as it is metal. 

So trying to get different projects done... has us going... and working, and buying supplies...  And hoping and praying the job can come in under what we put to the side for it.  

So enjoy the summer... in all its glory... and enduring the ending of Spring.

With all her bluster..  

AND THEN THEY WERE 50

AND THEN THEY WERE 50!!!

Happy birthday to my twin son’s… 50 years! Wow

It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I brought you home from the hospital.

It has been a ride for sure.  See with twins there are two kinds..  Identical and Fraternal, and thankfully mine where fraternal..   I had visions of feeding the same baby twice thinking I fed both of them.

But mine were as different as night and day.. and still are.. One was dark brown hair… and the other is blonde… One is taller than the other.. Those who know them..  and know my other kids..  now confuse them.. but not with each other, but their older brothers.  The dark haired one looks like my oldest son and the blonde looks like his just older brother. In fact their aunt was telling some one at the blonde’s wedding that they were the twins.. when the darker hair one came by at that time.. and said.. “I’m sorry Aunt Pat, but I am his twin… and they all laughed.

Raising twins can be an adventure.  First off I was reading about letting them have their own individuality, so don’t dress them alike..  So I stopped that.  Also to have two cakes on their birthday, so they don’t have to share one cake.

And it has worked..  even to this day… at the age of 50, they are as different as can be.  Different attitudes, different life styles.   And can be closer to an older brother who looks similar to them.  Also said not to call them... THE TWINS. 

so it was rare that I ever referred to them as the twins. 

When they were from 5 to 12, they were fight like their siblings but seem more so…  Seems the other boys would stop sooner, because the younger one would give up and the older one won… but with twins, there is no older one or younger one, so it is a continuous battle..  So I came up with the idea of boxing gloves.. which was kind of a weird results. It seems they would battle back and forth, push back and forth, an occasional punch.. driving me nuts.. but as soon as the gloves came out.. then they decided neither one of them wanted to fight.. So after a few slugs, and telling me they didn’t want to fight, I would have them stop. And tell them, then stop fighting all together.. or I would bring out the gloves. Which would work for about 2 or 3 weeks..

It has been a great 50 years…. And I wouldn’t miss it for the world..   I am very proud of them.. each one. As I am my other children.  Each has turn out well, each are great husbands, each are great fathers and do well in their each occupations.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GUYS… you might be 50, but you are still my boys… 

Be careful what you say to a 2 year old...

Be careful what you say to a 2 year old.

This boy is getting me into trouble..

I am just being myself.. I was a stern mother, so I was a stern grandmother.. and well, it continues on to me being a stern great grandmother. 

I think you should start off at the git go.. Because what you laugh and think is cute at 2, will come back to bite you later.    Also when they show they understand, and can tell you NO… then you know there is reasoning in there..

One day, my great grand son who I should refer to as my shadow, lil man… was acting up..  (throwing food on the floor from his high chair)…after several, No, don’t do that.. picking it up,…  I had it.. so when he did it the 4^th time.. I turn and glared at him with THAT LOOK.. (you all know it, you have used it)…and said NO.. NO..  Which he straighten up and didn’t throw it any more..  This happen, maybe twice??   Well, he has come up with his own rendition of it, according to my daughter (the grandmother) and blames me.   As he looks at you sternly, with his own glare look and say…NYET…  well it sounds like that.  I told my daughter I never used a Russian word… I said NO..  Of which she laughed and pointed at him… and said..  do you see..  the look?  That is YOU MOM… just because he doesn’t have No down pat … (he does now) doesn’t mean it isn’t you, Mom..

Then there is the day, we were outside.. watching  birds and setting up his pool…  there were two small black birds… with white around their eyes.. that I don’t like…  So I went CAW  CAW  CAW.. like a crow.. and the black birds took off. …He loved that.. and later, as he is resting in his chair…. Two small black birds came and he stood up fast and said.. CAW CAW CAW.. and even running after them.

Now my daughter says I am teaching him prejudice. What?  She said did you do it to the light brown bird?  Or the one with yellow on it.. or even a robin.. And I said well, no, just the ones who chase off the other birds from the feeder.. She said.. see.. prejudice. But I am using the call of the black bird called a crow..  She said no difference… the little black birds are being chased off.. 

I got to figure this out..  do I stop being me.. or stop having my daughter around. Lol….   Guess I will keep them both….   BUT can’t wait until lil man picks up some of his father’s or grandfathers words.. have warn both of them.. but they haven’t slowed down while in the garage.. 

See how grandma handles that one... although she straighten out Poppa when her son was young.