Marianne's Challenge

Marianne of Slight Detour challenged her readers to
complete the following with their own stories. Being I didn't
want to clog up her comment area, I chose to answer here.

Best Never Told Smoking Stories
Two for one. The first one, was my neighbor pal and I smoking
straw for starters. We didn't want to go straight into smoking cigarette,
so thought we try straws. Not good. Got sick, her father found us
behind his garage, and I think he said something to the fact of burning
down the garage with our matches, it was hard to understand him,
when you are sick as a dog.

Second one, was when my father found out I smoked. Well, I think
puffing on them, would be a more accurate description. So he decide I
should smoke in front of him. I had bought a pak of Pall Mall ..reds.
For those who are young, that is a straight cigarette with no filters.

I bought that brand as my mother smoked them and figured if I
got caught I could past it off as my mothers. Which goes to show
I was not a smart child, as when I got caught, I was accused of
stealing her cigarettes. And of course we all know that children lie,
so no amount of protesting on my part was going to change their minds.

First Dad, started out with one cigarette. Then when he caught on that I
didn't inhale, he told me I had to inhale if I was going to smoke. It was a
waste, not to inhale. So he showed me how to do it correctly. You inhale,
long and kind of kept it in the lungs for a little bit, and then you let it out
slowly. (Oh, come on now, in those days, everyone inhale and blew it out
slowly, and made circles and etc.. this was not child cruelty......yet).

I say yet, because, I was almost done with my cigarette and kind of holding
my own.. just a little heady... then my father dropped the next foot. He lit
up another cigarette, and handed it to me. I told him no, thanks, one was good
enough for me. Oh, no, a real smoker has a few. As I was getting thru the
second one, I was trying to find an escape route. As I was drawing out the last
one of the inhales.......Dad lit another, I begged off, saying I was fine. 2 was just
my limit.. I know I had to be glowing green by this time. He told, me no, a true
smoker ...smokes one right after another... all day.. and handed me #3, after
about two inhales, I really couldn't tell you what he was saying, as I was heading
for the escape route outside, and throwing up on the lawn. I decided smoking
wasn't for me. Sadly, I figure out that cigarettes calmed the nerves and started
at the age of 31. And finally gave them up for good at the age of 48. It was
a financial thing. It was either a monthly product for women or cigarettes. After
thinking about how I could use the filter after I finished the cigarette, that I decided
I had gone over the edge and quit for a month. Then the next month and the next
and etc. Even thought they cost me 88 cents for my last pack. And they cost 3
times that now or more, and I know they are not good for me at all... I still crave one ..
once in a while.. especially if I have had a few drinks. Hard to explain.. it was kind
of a private, quiet time for me.

Best Never Told Food Stories
When I was a teen, I was left in charge of my kid brother (who was 4 years
my junior) on Friday nights. I guess it was kind of a date night for them.
They went out to dinner. It was my job to make sure I fed my brother dinner
and kept him out of trouble. The funniest one was when I made him hamburgers.
As I was cooking the meat, I had laid out the bun, put mustard, mayonnaise
and ketchup on the buns, then closed them while I finished cooking the meat.
As I swung over the first pattie to put the meat into the bun, .....two of the buns
were gone. I put the meat in the bun. And asked my brother, what happen to
the buns. He laughed at me and said I already ate mine, so I finished first. ha ha
Thinking this was funny. So I had decided to wait about 2 hours before I told him,
he ate his without the meat. lol... I don't think I should go into the time I told him
that Exlax was chocolate candy.

Best Never Told Report Card Stories
Report card time wasn't bad until I was in the higher grades. And by that
time, I had my kid brother. His always seem to be worse than mine, so I
had him go in first with his... and then I would show up half hour later with
mine. That way, mine didn't seem so bad.

Best Never Told Lying Stories---now tell the truth
I never was good at lying. Not to say I never ever did. I am sure I must have
slipped a few white lies in there. But the main reason I decided to give up lying,
was memory. Even as a kid, I wasn't really good at memory. And if you tell a lie,
you have to remember exactly how the story goes. And because I couldn't get
that straight...and got whipped for it, I decided the true was the best way to go.
I could always remember the truth. And facing the music, I found was easier.
You got your punishment and it was over. Instead of waiting weeks for the
parent to figure out the lie, and knowing any day it would happen.
Fear is worse than punishment.

Ok, I have met the challenge of Marianne's... anyone else want to
take up the challenge? I will check out your blog to see how you
answered.