I didn’t measure up….

I didn’t measure up….

Over the years there has been times when my children and I were  at odds.  As a parent some of your kids get mad at you. At 4, they will tell you.. I DON’T LIKE YOU..  Usually after not getting their way. My standard reply was.. “That’s too bad as I love YOU.. “

As teens.. again after not getting their way--------I HATE YOU. ..

Again standard reply ..” I am sorry but I love you”..  both times, they got over it.

As a adult.. not so much. Some times they walk off and you don’t know why?  Some times you have reason for a discussing.. BUT they don’t want to hear about nor talk about it, to compromise. Those can last up to 20 years, (was for one of mine).  Luckily we did make it aback together .. before she had a major heart attack and passed away. But we both MISSED so much.

If you are lucky, you can decide just not to talk about a subject.. Politics is a big one…  If you are lucky, you find out the reason.. Some of which you hope, you don’t mess up because you don’t know the reason.

And some times…. It just can’t be fixed.

A lot of it is that you just didn’t measure up to what THEY thought you should have been or done..  It isn’t until your grandchildren get to be teens and 20’s .. before you MIGHT get a apology from your child…. When they find out THEY did not measure up to their child..

All through these times, I still LOVED and do LOVE my kid.  I just don’t like their choices. Maybe, not even like them because of it. There is a difference.. But I still love my kid.. Wish them good health.. and happiness.  Some times it is never solved and you come to terms with it.

It saddens you, but you wish them well… and you are glad to not have the drama in your life.

The greatest sadness is when your child refuses their children, visits and contacting.  No connection at all. You and the grandkid got along great… but your child want to punish you.

There nothing you can do about it. So you accept it and live with it.. NOT EASY… heart breaking…  Thankfully most unions are great.. Count your lucky starts if your kids stay close.. and you get to watch and enjoy and even help raise the grandkids.. I am lucky.. I measured up for 6 of my 8. Not the best odds, but not bad either.