Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Spoken word v written word….


Spoken word vs written word….

Over the years, I have been accused of being mad when I write a note to someone.. Even at work.   It came up at a meeting.. when one of my bosses, mention that I had wrote an angry note. I asked if she still had it.. she did…   I asked for it.  She got it and handed it to me..  Before I read it, I asked her why she thought I was mad when I wrote it..  She said it just sounded like it… So I held up the note…… and read it.. I read it just matter factly, like I had in mind when I wrote it.
She said.. well, it doesn’t sounds so bad when you read it..  I told her, that was just the way I meant it..   Again, I asked her why she thought I was upset..  Do I have an anger tone to my voice when I usually talk….  She replied, no.   so why would you assume I was mad?

It happens a lot to a lot of us.. I have seen on Facebook where some one will have to explain that they didn’t mean to upset someone.. And that person, explain they were not upset. They were just stating the facts with no emotion in mind.

I once ask … what do I have to do to get across that I am not upset over what I am writing?  Put smiley faces after the sentence or maybe before it?

Does one have to explain?  How they are feeling when they write a note or letter?   Do we assume from a person’s personality that they get upset easy? 

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Where did the faces go?


Where did the faces go?

These days, you rarely see faces. 
You can be in a restaurant,
You can be walking down the sidewalks.
You can even have people in your house and sitting at your table.. The younger the more so.

I don’t know about you.. but I am really getting tired of looking at the top of peoples heads.

I want to see the smiles, and even the scows of those in thought… as they walk.. I am tired of jumping to the side, so said person doesn’t run into me..   Or their car creeping up on me at the crosswalk..  One time, I slapped my hand on the hood… only to get the finger telling me I am number one..  with a glare.. and I glared back. 

All of these tick me off, but the one that gets to me the most is the times when these people are suppose to be visiting.  The top of heads is all you see, as they talk to you.. or there is a lull because they stopped talking… 

Why, because they are looking at their cell phones constantly.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

It was the worst of times and the best of times..


It was the worst of times and the best of times..

I would tell you that I walked 12 miles to school in a snow storm… but truth is.. I walked 2 miles to school, because I didn’t want to ride the bus. The bus would wind thru the two towns and get to the school 20 minutes after I did, walking.

I would tell you, that I had to get up and change the channel on the tv. But we didn’t get tv until 1950’s and my brother and I were not allowed to change the channel.. only the grown ups could do that.  We didn’t get to watch television until 4pm  and that was for Howdy Doody time.  After that the adults (parents) changed to John Cameron Swayze…  for the news.  We only had one ..and then two channels. We didn’t get to watch tv all night.. we were sent to bed at 7 in the winter and 9 in the summer.  And we were outside in the summer until 9.

And I can tell you.. we had chores.  Mine started out with dishes. Then babysitting said brother. As I grew older the chores got longer. Like getting my brother up, give him breakfast, and then I fed the animals while he ate. I had to feed the chickens… Sounds innocent enough.. but it was involved.  Hauling a bucket of water to the shed. Then going into the greenhouse/feed room. .. kick the metal garbage can with the feed in it.  That was to scare the rats or mice out of it. Before I put my arm in there with the coffee can. So they didn’t run up my arm and send me running screaming.   Then it was head to the barn, throw hay over the door… coffee can with oats in the manger, and take down the buckets, fill them and drag them back to raise up and snap in place..  Then into the house, send my brother to the showers while I ate breakfast. My mother’s rule was animals got fed before us. Well, at least me.
Then it was time to send my brother off to school and I headed out for school.  His school was half mile away.

Summer time was clean stalls was added and weeding the vegetable garden.  We had a Victory garden. Every one had one. It started in the 40’s during World War II.  You grew it in the summer and canned it in the fall.  I was jar washer.  My brother had to feed the dogs and cats. Take out garbage. And later got garden duty.

Then there was the washer … wringer type. Which I hated because I would catch my hand in the wringer, as I tried to feed the clothes thru to fall into the rinse water in the cement sink on the other side.. Then back thru the winger, to the laundry basket. Then up the stairs from the basement… to the line outside.. Attaching the wash corners to the line with a wooden clothes pins.  One time, the sheets froze… I was standing there… with the sheet corner in my hand…I wiggled it back and forth.. and next thing I know …it broke off…. My mother was not amused.

Summer time also was haying time.. but I have written about that before.

Now phones were interesting during those days. We were a 6 party line and then a 3 party line. That meant we had to share it with those families. So if we picked up the phone, we could by chance hear our neighbor talking.  To which one would quickly hang up. So when the phone rang.. we had to count the type of rings..  If it was one ring.. space …one ring that was one family.. or two rings.. space… two rings.. one of the other families.. and three rings and then space and three rings it was us..  We were glad when we made it from the 6 party to the one party.  Children were not allowed to use the phones.  If per chance a friend wanted to talk to you..  Their mother would call and ask YOUR mother if it was ok that their child talk to you. And you were allowed ONE MINUTE.. that was it. As a teen, you were allowed to get phone calls that were supervised by your parents. And still only one minute . Oh, and our phone number?  R-23.. because we were the 23rd family with the name starting with a R.

And God forbid if you ever picked up the phone and listen to the other parties… almost worse than murder… one did not embarrassed thy parents…

Oh, and capital punishment was used often, with children.  Any offense was pretty much met by the paddle on ones back sides.. And no one yelled foul to the authorities.

Later in life I traded all this wonderful world, for one of my own… switching parents to me being the parent.. With all kinds of chores. Sleepless nights with sick kids, meals for all.. and I didn’t gain dish washer for 7 years.. She had to wash dishes, as her younger sister set the table for chores. And then as the kids kept coming the chores were divided up.

Meals took hours to make.. as there were no microwaves.  There were not quickly dinners from the store. Soups, cakes, spaghetti sauce, and etc. were all made from scratch. (for those younger, google making meals from scratch).

I had graduated up to an automatic washer..but still had clothes lines. And diapers… and lots of kid clothes… 

I skipped canning….. as I tried it once. I spent all day blanching tomatoes, putting them into the quart jars with the juice…  sealed them.. boiled them. Took them out.. placed them on the towel and covered……. Only to wake in the morning to not one of them sealing…  so once was enough.

But as I look back on my childhood, compared to the generation now.. I have to laugh.. this generation has no idea how easy they have it.. every thing is pretty well instant.. Instant meals, instant music.. instant television, instant entertainment… and etc…
It might have been the worse of times, at the time.. but as I look back on it.. it was the best of times. 

Kids could play anywhere safely… no one shot kids in schools and churches.. We had dirt road, heck we had dirt..and got dirty.. no one yelled about how we could die from it. We played Dodge ball.. which could have been called bully now.. We drank out of the hose, or the outdoor faucet..  We used our imagination…instead of following a book.  We had animals to take care of.. but we also had animals to love.  99% of us had parents who loved us.. had time for us.. Mothers who stayed home.

Yes, it was the best of times.

What was the best of times for you as a kid?  and what was the worse of time?




Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Surely you jest…..


Surely you jest…..

About a week or so ago, I read in the paper
that one Phil Hart was thinking of running for Idaho congress..  House of Representative.
As I read it.. words that came out of my mouth was… YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING!!! 
It seems he thinks he has a chance of getting back into office because Trump is President, and if people  think he is ok, he thinks people will be open to him.. 

For those of you who are not from Idaho.. let me fill you in on this person.

Phil Hart represented a section of Idaho for may years.. About 8.  Because he served in the Idaho Congress, he thought he has privileges. In my opinion…  See in Idaho if you get trees from the forest, you have to have a permit.  He decided he did not have to.  He built a house out of those trees… and put that house in another person’s name so the Federal government wouldn’t take his house.. as he owed about 4 years of back Federal income taxes.  Oh, it gets better..  See he owed I believe they said 7 years of back Idaho income taxes as well… And when there was the investigation, he figured he did not have to pay them.. and they couldn’t take him to court because he was in the Idaho Congress. And as a serving Congressman he could not be taken to court.   And the final kicker… HE WAS ON THE IDAHO TAX COMMISSION COMMITTEE …. He got to stay an extra 2 years because … he beat out his Democrat opponent .

See Idaho is SO REPUBLICAN that they rather have a bad Republican than a good Democrat..
Thankfully there was another Republican who ran against him and won.  

  ONLY IN IDAHO 



Thursday, April 05, 2018

a good raining day THROW BACK THURSDAY TALE

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13, 2005


No Walls, No Floor, or Recipe for Remodeling.

NO Walls, No Floor Posted by Picasa


This is the recipe for remodeling your
bathroom..If you have only one bathroom.

FIRST RULE: DON'T...do it yourself....

SECOND RULE: Knowing you have
already skipped Rule One.... make sure
you have some one who knows that they
are doing, to help you....if you insist on
this being a as a self improvement job. .

So you are insisting on doing this
yourself... Sad, real sad. But here I will
give you the recipe. And for gosh, sakes
don't skip the rest of this.

Check out a book or buy one at Home
Depot. This can be skipped if you paid
attention to Rule Two, and have a
qualified contractor friend/family
member who will help you.

Next, make sure you have all the tools.
As hammer, screwdriver and saw is not
enough. If you have that friend/family
member, they can help you in this
department. They may have all the tools
you need. Or they will take you to Home
Depot or such, to buy or rent what you
and the person don't have.

Next, expect at least two weeks to do this
job, and if you have skipped Rule Two,
well, sorry, wife, but this project will never
be done and you will be lucky enough to
have a toilet in 2 weeks.

Next, look into the possibility of Port-a-
Potties for 2 weeks. Maybe you should
rent a camp trailer or borrow one. You
will need it. For the toilet part. And if it
gets too hot between spouses, one of you
can sleep in there.

Next, and listen really well. Make a list
of good friends. Really good friends. And
how close they are to your house is where
they will rank on this list. These friends are
very important. Because they are the ones
you will hint about using their showers for
the next 2 to 3 weeks. Of course by day 3, you
may not have to hint, the smell will have
them offering, or they will shut their blinds
and turn off the lights at night.

Next, in your budget,...... you are going to
make up a budget of supplies before you
start, aren't you? No? You thought you wing
it as you go along? Oh, boy, this is going to
be worse than I thought, no budget planning.

It won't be any good anyway, I guess. As
when you tear out the walls and floor, you
will find rot. Lots of little spots of rotted
beams. So included at least 6 extra beams
in your list of supplies. But also on this list....
the price of a dozen roses for each one of
your female friends who let you use their
shower, and listen to your tales of woe...
Beer for the guy friends.

Are you scared yet? Be afraid...very afraid.
We did Rule Two, and we are on the down
hill side of the remodel. We are within a day
of having it all done. Oops, should not have
said that... maybe two or three days left.

But boy, is this going to be looking great...
Thanks to one of Sweetie's best friends,
who is helping. And next month, the
remodeling will be just a memory. And
we will have a room of pride, instead
of cringing, when some one ask to use
the room.

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

The King's birthday....


The King’s birthday….

Today is the King’s birthday.. and he has finally gotten old enough to understand my saying.. it is just another day…  That only 5’s and 10’s count now..  The rest are just betweens…

We can always remember when each other’s birthday is… see his is today…. And mine is tomorrow..  And our 5’s and 10’s are off center of each others.. So we can really make it a special day,  without over shadowing the other. He has 4 more years to his.. I have 2 more years to mine..  Me being the older one.

We use to celebrate by going out to dinner for his and breakfast for mine..  This year we settled for lunch the day before his.  Ha ha. .. 

But his buddy is taking him out for lunch today.. It seems friends make more of it than we do.

Like I said.. to us… it is just another day..  with cards.  Oh, even with us telling others.. no gifts.. we still get them.. and they have caught on to gift cards for us buying flowers and plants..   So I guess you could say our birthday’s go on for a couple of months..   As it is June and July before we cash them in for our garden supplies.. 

So how about you… is your birthday still a big deal….or has it gotten to be.. just another day??



Tuesday, April 03, 2018

April, April, April….


April, April, April….

What are we going to do with you April. After the month of March which had what ever weather you wanted..  snow, rain, cold, warm, even a thunder storm.

But then April 1st came along.. with hopes of Spring in the air..  This year.. April 1st was not only April Fool’s Day but also Easter as well. 
And we all woke with great hopes of good food, thanking God for giving his son for a short time.. and sadly taking him away to pay for our sins. And on Easter we celebrate his rising..

But Mother Nature had a different idea.. Instead of giving us a warm Spring day.. with some still hiding Easter eggs..  they had to do it in  SNOW. 

We thought we were done.. but no, Mother Nature says.  And to make sure we understood, she threw some more at us on April 2nd… So is it going to be April that comes in like lion and goes out like a lamb?  Changing to those April showers for May flowers?
April, we understand lots of rain, but we are really sick and tired of snow.  But the good news the snow of these past two days are melting for the most part. Some of the higher levels have hung on to it.

I truly feel sorry for the bulbs that are sticking their noses up thru the dirt in hopes of growing into beautiful flowers..

April is also the start of many birthdays.. Gal pal started it out on April Fool Day, the Kings best buddy, on the 2nd.. and today is Susan our friend, and Danny our grandson..  and then there is the 4th is the King’s birthday… leading to the 5th being mine… and then a niece on the 8th..with two cousins and another great neice on the 14.  Oh, forgot Susan my boss of years gone by and Michael a fellow worker of years gone by, on the 13th, which happen to be my mother’s birthday.. with the 16th being my sister in law Mary’s … followed by the 20th of a fellow worker of the 1959 time.. Judy.. followed by the 22.. the Earth Day birthday girls… Betty K and my baby girl, Jeanette..  There were my uncle and my grandmothers on the 26th I believe.. I have a friend Marianne who can almost match me with April birthdays in her family.   So for anyone I forgot..HAPPY APRIL BIRTHDAY..


Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I can't eat that...


I can’t eat that…

As a person who was well known for having a cast iron gut… I am finding out that there now a few things I can not eat.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Mexican food. Can’t think of anything that I have eaten that I did not like in Mexican food.

Even as a teen, my mother use to make her own pizza’s.. and red peppers where plentiful on it. She made BIG pizza’s.  And if there were any left the next day.. we had it for lunch.. and for some reason it felt like they were hotter the second day.  Like they build up over night.

Then my moving to California several years later, that open the door to Mexican food.. I was in my glory.  Jalapeno’s in everything.   I love bacon wrapped cheese filled jalapeno’s.

But in the past 6 months or so.. My body has decided it does NOT like hot Mexican food. One of my most miserable day and night was after eating at one of our local restaurants. I blamed the margarita, as it was a different one than I usually have..  it couldn’t be the food..  Nope..
I was bent in half.. thought something was eating my stomach.. Heart attack maybe..

Since then, I have found out it is the food. Anything acidity.. kills me.. So now it is mild salsa, and jalapeño’s ….good by.. No more cheese stuff ones.  And no more…..  (tears here, now) bacon wrapped, cheese stuffed jalapeños..  (breaking my heart… if it wasn’t for the heart burn) …

Even some spicy spaghetti … and I have eaten good old fashion cook all day… spaghetti sauce since I was able to eat real food. My mother made the best ever.. and no restaurant can come close. I have her recipe..BUT when it comes to the spices.. she wrote.. spice to taste. So far I have not be able to find her taste.. Mine is close.. but hers was so much better… But now.. I have to take it easy on the sauce.  

Life is not fair… I tried to see it as I have had 75 years of spaghetti and 59 years of salsa … so should be happy with that.. but I love it.. I even ate salsa with vanilla (yes over the vanilla) ice cream.. when I was pregnant with my oldest child.. (we joke about why she is the only one with red hair of my kids)




Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The times are changing…


The times are changing…

Once again.. people marched. This time filling up the mall at Washington, D.C… filling up the whole area that politicians wish they could bring that many people out at one place.

There were many students who walked out of the school.. some .. (a good share).. just for 17 minutes… in memory of the 17 students shot and killed in Florida as their school. Those students.. a good share said a prayer in memory..yes, they might have mention that they would like to see some better gun laws.  But went back in to the school…

Now for the disclaimer, before you all get your panties in to a twit….    Yes, there were some adults that promoted this..using it for their own agenda.. yes, there were some  renegade students who did not stay at the school ground and of course there are the ones who could care less about all if it.. used it as a day to get out of school.. and some even did do some vandalized  
All of this is true..

But you got to understand .. all of the above is maybe.. if I stretch it.. 20%... the other 80% is overlooked or just bullied by adults who were upset the students left the school..  They use the excuse that the kids missed schooling.. When actually they are upset that the child left the school in something that was not of their parent’s mind set.   

These walk out have been planned since the shootings.  Weeks of planning.. well talked about in all kinds of media.. social media, newspapers, television news.. even talk shows.. So none of this is a big surprise.. You would have to live under an rock to be surprised at these walk outs..   

So my question to the parents who are screaming like a gutted sow….wouldn’t it have been a better deal to sit your child down and talk to them.. NOT AT THEM.. but to them. To have a no anger conversation around the table?  A heart to heart talk?  To talk AND LISTEN? 
If you are a home that has guns.. it should be a easy talk… after all.. guns in your house are probably not a secret.  You can talk about why you believe in guns… ASK AND LISTEN to why that child is THINKING of walking out of school that day?  The talk with NO YELLING on either side.. if  voices start to raise.. then stop.. if it is you.. say you are sorry, as this is not a yelling conversation.. if it is theirs.. tell them. There is no reason to yell, you can hear them..In fact better if it is lower. What is their true reason.. Is it because they are scared? Is it because of memorial to the 17 students that were shot.. and has been the  intention of walking back in after 17 minutes?  You explain why you are not for the walk out..  And don’t be the parent who says how important each day of school is… and then tell the school later, that the student won’t be in school for a day or two because.. a. you are taking them to hunting camp with you.. b. you are leaving early for your vacation.. and etc.

And as far as the ones who walked on Washington, D.C. … Stop and think about this for a minute….  Are you old enough to remember the MILLION BLACK MEN MARCH? How about the MILLION WOMEN’S MARCH of a couple weeks ago.. or go back even further.. the CIVIL RIGHTS MARCH…. Tell me… after all those marches .. what changed?  The first two… I don’t remember any changes that came about since. And the Civil Rights took years to make changes.. and it wasn’t because of the march.. 

My mother told me.. while raising children…to keep it simple.. because the more you blow up the situation.. the more the child is going to stick to their friends and etc. of contention…  If you stress your dislike of that person.. or situation.. and let it go.. the sooner it will be over with.

In this situation, the debate will be there forever, but how you handle it with your child.. will make a difference.   The bottom line is that Congress is going to continue to walk the same line they have for over 20 years or more.  As long as they fear the NRA… the longer the debate will be. And only token rules will come forward. 

By the way, did you know that until about 1980, the NRA was FOR more laws and better ones? Yes, they were..  So what the heck happen?  It is the same old story..  when a forceful group of men take over a group… pushing out the heads that have common sense.. and rule by bulling, by stirring up the masses… the group gets to be a bully for all.  And that sums up the NRA… The few strong men, the bully types, ate at the center of the group until they took it over.. and that is what you have in the NRA now.. Google it.. you will be amazed at how much the NRA use to be for common sense laws.

The other thing that bothers me is the way people talk about the young adults. The preteens and teens.. “They are only 12 years old.. what do they know.  12 year old are not responsible enough to know … not old enough to know how they feel…to make their own decisions.
First of all.. I don’t believe there is any age limit on feelings… Feelings of fear, of becoming a target for another human to practice on. Feelings that things are too lacks on the keeping of guns. The non responsibility of that.  I have to say… REALLY???  It might be a stretch for most of us to remember what it was like when we were 12.. For one thing.. there was no shooting in schools.. or churches…. There was no ,ullying on Facebook and etc.. because there was no Facebook and etc.  We were too busy riding our bicycles, taking care of our animals, and doing chores. But one thing you definitely had, was feelings.  And if you came from a abusive household, you sure had feelings of fear, about your safety.  
Same with the low grade thinkers, who say, how can a Tide eating teen know anything. First of all.. the Tide eating teens were what, 12 of them? Out of millions of teens?  So degrading the teens does both you and them a disservice. There are 12 year olds who are collecting blankets and food for the homeless. And taking them out at night time..Some are making sandwiches and taking them out to the homeless…  How about using them for an example of a 12 year old? 

YES, THE TIMES ARE CHANGING.. and if you really want to make a difference…take the cell phones.. YOURS as well as theirs.. turn them off.. leave them on the counter… and sit down and talk to your child. Talk to them about your concerns.. talk and Listen to them talk about their concerns..  talk about how you can make them safer.. We know it is hell out there…

So instead of yelling at the school.. instead of yelling on Facebook and the social media…and the national news reporter…… SIT down.. and quietly … have the talk… WITH …not AT… your child……. It might just save their lives.  After all.. like said in another post.. you are probably the first generation of parents who has to fear if you will see your child at the dinner table tonight.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

f.t.l.


f.t.l.

f.t.l. = failure to listen

blab, blab blab, blab
or the Stienfield version…..
yada, yada, yada, yada

Those words come about 8 words into a conversation. Sometimes between husband and wife.  Sometimes between child and parent.

Raised voice does not break this barrier. The only thing that seems to bring one to the here and now of this barrier, is a question.  What do you think? How do you feel about that? Do you agree?  Which is a signal, with the deer in the headlight look.

Do you say yes and worry about what you just agreed to? Do you say… maybe to save face…  “I don’t know?”  Which might get you in trouble with: “what do mean you don’t know, I just spent 20 minutes explaining it to you!!  Or you can use my line.. when I get caught spacing.. “Good point, I will have to give that more thought.”

We all are guilt of f.t.l.  Some are so busy thinking of what we are going to say in the answer.. we space their words. Especially if the person is so long winded that you can not add words in edgewise.. 

Some find the conversation is so boring they are like the kid looking out the school house window.

Listening is a fine art, that is getting lost. Not only in the above occasion but even more so now.

With everyone so angered at others of the different point of view, especially political. No one listens anymore. They are too busy shouting over the other person. Maybe , just maybe if each would listen to the other, they might …just might….find a common ground.

So think about it next time.. you are in a conversation..  f.t.l….FAILING TO LISTEN.  You have to have your mouth shut and pay attention…. To listen well.

Reminds me of a sign my daughter in law has in her kitchen….

DO YOU LISTEN TO HEAR…..
OR DO YOU LISTEN JUST TO ANSWER…