f.t.l. = failure to listen
blab, blab blab, blab
or the Stienfield version…..
yada, yada, yada, yada
Those words come about 8 words into a conversation. Sometimes between husband and wife. Sometimes between child and parent.
Raised voice does not break this barrier. The only thing that seems to bring one to the here and now of this barrier, is a question. What do you think? How do you feel about that? Do you agree? Which is a signal, with the deer in the headlight look.
Do you say yes and worry about what you just agreed to? Do you say… maybe to save face… “I don’t know?” Which might get you in trouble with: “what do mean you don’t know, I just spent 20 minutes explaining it to you!! Or you can use my line.. when I get caught spacing.. “Good point, I will have to give that more thought.”
We all are guilt of f.t.l. Some are so busy thinking of what we are going to say in the answer.. we space their words. Especially if the person is so long winded that you can not add words in edgewise..
Some find the conversation is so boring they are like the kid looking out the school house window.
Listening is a fine art, that is getting lost. Not only in the above occasion but even more so now.
With everyone so angered at others of the different point of view, especially political. No one listens anymore. They are too busy shouting over the other person. Maybe , just maybe if each would listen to the other, they might …just might….find a common ground.
So think about it next time.. you are in a conversation.. f.t.l….FAILING TO LISTEN. You have to have your mouth shut and pay attention…. To listen well.
Reminds me of a sign my daughter in law has in her kitchen….
DO YOU LISTEN TO HEAR…..
OR DO YOU LISTEN JUST TO ANSWER…