Monday, December 31, 2012

The End of the Year Thoughts

It is the time of the year to look back in our thoughts of what the year has been like.
More or less another year blown to hell…

As I look back, I think of 2012, as the year of sadness.  It isn’t because of the economy. That is bad enough in itself.. but actually, the economy is trying raise up, and with one foot on the ground, the other on its knee.. as it tries to come to a stand,
we still have the chicken little’s put it down at each corner, with rumors and downplays.

What I find is not only the sadness of Connecticut  26 people with 20 of them being children…the firemen drawn to a fire, only to have the owner kill two, wound two others, the mall and the theater also in play.. where the mentally ill feel killing
others will solve what ever problems they have… finding out it doesn’t and killing themselves most of the time.    

It is sad that Congress is granted a raise… while they are suppose to be finding way to make cuts… using military, education, and the disable the first cuts… yet never cut their own wages, benefits. Not wanting to have those over the $250,000 pay more taxes,
because that would mean themselves.

It is sad, that the nation as a whole spent 2012, fighting with itself, over what is right for the people.. with the Democrats thinking of party only… and the Republican party being in such a disarray that they didn’t know what they wanted, what their own policies were, and so split among themselves they couldn’t  bring up a candidate that the public could trust.  And when the public decided that a known President was better than a flip flopping candidate whose own son says now.. that his heart was never in it. It showed.
But rather than bring their group together, find a common ground, and bring their thoughts back to the 2000 year and out of the 1940’ thoughts on women, and other minorities.. they chose to blame the Democrats and the public.  

We still have a Congress who rather fight parties, than to come together for the country. This year has been the worse year for this…and the whole country feels it. That is why I find this, the saddest year of all..

So let’s hope that the year 2013, will find us looking for some of the golden moments, instead of trying to find the warts of life.   Let us know we still live in the best country of all. Why else would so many still want to run across our borders?  May we find solutions to our ills, instead of looking  for blame.  May we find kindness and give kindness, instead of looking for how to destroy others.

May our government start to make us proud, instead of shaking our heads in disbelief.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, to you all.. may 2013 bring you health, safety and joy.

Monday, December 24, 2012


Sunday, December 23, 2012

THE YEAR WAS 1944....

The world was at war.. my father worked civil service for the Torpedo Station in Newport R.I.

 But on this day, 68 years ago, my father celebrated the birth of his only son. And even as times were bumpy thru that relationship over the years, he never waivered in his love for his son. Don’t get me wrong, I know Dad loved us both to his dying day…even when we didn’t do him proud 100% of the time. 

My mom was bummed out, not because he had a son.. but because she had a baby 2 days before Christmas…. And in the old days, you stayed in the hospital for 10 to 14 days to make sure the two of you were going home healthy.. And the new mother knew what she was in for, once home… too bad they don’t still do that.

 And I am sure I was the typical older sister of 4 years older, who was thrilled for about 10 minutes… as it was my job from then on end, as that older sister to not only watch out for my little brother… but to make his life as miserable as I could… just as he fulfilled his job to make mine as miserable as well..
I knew the jig was up, the following Christmas… and for several after… at least 5.
See the year before Roy was born… I was given by SANTA… a full fledged Lionel Train with tracks…and tunnels. And water tower.. that went around under the tree each year.  Which a year or two later BECAME… Roy’s train.

Now this wasn’t a big deal at first, because Dad would never ever let us touch it. We might break it.. and we didn’t know how to handle the switch, so we were only allowed to watch. 

But by the time he was 5.. he got not only an erector set (remember where you could build anything with metal sticks.. and parts) I got Tinker Toys set.(not a big deal to a 9 year old girl… )

And he and Roy built all kinds of thing together… AND…AND…ROY
GOT TO RUN THE TRAIN… oh, he was careful, because Dad was
right beside him giving him inch by inch directions…. So good, Dad
said… and then he made the mistake of going to the kitchen to get
himself a cup of coffee… whoo whoo whoo… chuca chucla…
Swiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz by went the train.. little smoke puffs.. and WHACK!! TRAIN WRECK…  oh, like a wicked big sister I was.. I laughed and laughed.. even my mother was laughing.. some how I don’t think the look on my father’s face could be described as humor… black cloud maybe… while he did not yell, well, not real loud… just some muddering under his breath, asking for help.. I think anyway, from higher above..
Because I did hear Jesus’s name.. and something about mother of God. Yep, Dad and Roy were on their way…going thru life with the ups and downs.

And while the hospital taught my mother what she was in for soon with raising her child.. they didn't go into the dealings of teenagers.. which then my brother became my partner in crime of driving my parents nuts.

 Roy, I am sure, has been paid back by his own son.. who he dearly loves, even thru the bumps of life..  and Roy’s grandchildren have done him proud, just as mine have, with running their parents thru what is life’s up and downs of life..
Oh,for the wisdom’s I send each year… 68 is nothing but good.. and wait until you get to be 70. That is where you start looking at your heel, to see if they printed the expiration date there yet…. And thankful .. they haven’t..  and to live  each day to the fullest… May your health hold strong…

And when the day comes, if I go before you…. It is your job to continue the words of wisdom.. and when I go, you will hear those words of terror… “I’M TELLING,MOM!! as I leave.. And it will really piss me off, if I hear you say it first...


So Happy BIRTHDAY.. old man… my little brother… and yes, I remember your replies, of… no matter how old you get… I WILL ALWAYS BE OLDER … which I think is the pay back of life…


Friday, December 21, 2012

Reflections of life...

What you are here? Does that mean the world didn’t end?
Just as I expected…
So I decided to do honors to the this short day….

Life is good.... and I am so blessed...
I love the whiteness of the winter... it is cleansing of the soul with its pureness...
I love the stillness of the winter forest.... silence is golden

I am at a good place in life. I have so much to be grateful for.. Children that I am proud of.. with grandchildren who are becoming adults themselves with their own children. All of them great people, and it amazes me that they are my family.
And a husband who treats me like a queen, even when I don’t act like one..

I am amazed at people who call me friend.. especially sometimes I am not too proud of myself.. they raises me with their wings,
of hope and things will be better... and feel grateful when I can do the same for them.

I hope out of tragedy of the past month, that there grows an attempt to understand instead of blame.. to stop yelling at each other, and to try to see how to help our fellowman. There be one step of peace, one comment of praise and positive that others will see it and try their best to do the same.

So on this day of short hours.. may we take time to smell the roses of life.. and appreciate what we have.. and how blessed we are


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Death be kind...

This Christmas season seems to be shadowing by death.
I have had several people I know who passed away in the past week and half.… and the King just learn of two he knows..December is not suppose to be for funerals.

And of course, everyone knows about last Friday, that tore the nation’s heart out.

So hold your love ones closely this holiday season. Hug your
kids dearly… There can’t be anything that is so seriously bad, that you continue to fight with those close to you.  This is the time to search your soul, and pick your battles.. as we have found out this past week, life can disappear in a flash.

So in memory of all those who have passed this December and this year.. let’s find the joy of life. Celebrate the birth of our Savior, and if you have a problem with that.. then your higher power.. even if it is only Santa Claus which brings joy to children.. of all ages.

But most of all.. at the end of the day.. give hugs to all…
I am skipping next week.. going to give my mind a rest.  
With a special one that I am going to do on Sunday, for some
one in my life.

So I wish you a very Merry Christmas…filled with surprises in packages, great gathering of friends and family.. good food…. Remember this is the last great supper of the year.. and next year you diet.. lol..

May you get what you need and some of what you want..


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

People frustrate me

With the Sandy Hook situation, there are still rumors going around..with out any facts behind them.. The media does not even find out or do the research for their stories.  They run with what they THINK is the truth.. and then change it later to the facts.. which can take hours, days or even weeks.

Take the fact that they said the mother worked at the school.  So everyone thought the guy got in, because of her.  Now the truth comes out that she did not even work there.  Now what? So why did he pick that school? Those children? We may never know.

 Then you have the people running around yelling they are going to take our guns away from us.. That is what Obama said in his speech..  Which if you were listening to him closely, he did NOT say he was going after the guns. He just said there had to be changes made.  He wasn’t pacific about what he thought should be done.. and I would take it that he was leaving it open for a reason. Like to get input from everyone.. every side.. but the truth of the matter as he stated.. SOMETHING HAS TO BE CHANGED. 
Even the NRA, which usually is posturing with their own agenda, has been silent until Tuesday… saying they were silent in respect for the families involved. And they, too, say there has to be a change.. and they are working on that.

But the chicken littles who run around with their mouths going and their minds disengaged, spouting off… on things they have no base for, no facts, and just spouting off..  Which frustrates the heck out of me.

So far, Obama and the NRA, have the right idea.. wait and see.. get groups together to see what they can come up with. Using reasoning.

I would like to see… if you own a gun, you have a gun safe. Most of these of late, are guns that were bought legally. But stolen by someone else (be it family or friend) and used. If they had been locked up in a safe, that wouldn’t have happen. It isn’t the answer, but it is a start.
The other main thing.. what connects all of these, besides the fact that guns were used? It is the fact that these men were all mental health problems.. The Virginia killer, the Arizona killer, the Portland mall killer, the school house killer.. and most of the ones before..  So I would say we have a huge problem in the mental health issues here. Do you think?  One of the first budget cuts is mental health. Also there are so many parents dealing daily with children, who need help.  Who are help some and then the insurance company dumps them. Or there is no help.

If the anti-gun lobby had spent as much on the mental health issues as they did for anti-gun lobbyist.. we would be working on the problem. I am glad to see that this is of high concern now. Hopefully, not to be brushed under the rug again.  

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The plus of Facebook

I got into Facebook years ago, because my daughter in law

would send me pictures… and with dial up.. it would take

from 15 to 25 minutes to download… and sometimes only

part of the picture would show up.  She was a member(?

is that the right word for it?) of Facebook. So she would down

load her pictures there and I could see them.


Fast forward about 5 years… and still that is my main purpose

of still being with Facebook.  In our family there has been several

downsides of Facebook that has played out on there…


But it has it’s fun time.. Mostly I have where I have borrowed/

shared signs and pictures.. but the greatest pleasure I have

is seeing the pictures.  Also thru all of this I get to keep up with

my adult grandchildren and their families.  I got to see my

great grandson, Ryder, right after he was born.. I got to see my

new grandson Olin, this year …right after he was born.


And now I get to see the cute Christmas pictures of the kids.

One picture was of a great granddaughter who open her card,

and her reaction.. it was perfect!!


Yep, Facebook does have some pluses..  

Monday, December 17, 2012

It is a conspiracy, I tell you...

It is a conspiracy, I tell you… I know it is..

Every day of the year, I am so good.. Thank you, ma’am,

but no thank you.. I say with ease.


But once a year, the forces are out there.. they are after

you and me.. It starts around December and it gets really

rough after the 15th. As they start delivering it to your door.


And if you work it is just as bad if not worse. It is in the break

room, some have it on their desk… with a sign.. “take one”.

or someone drops off  a little basket or box on your desk.


I have to admit, I was in on the system too.. As I started

the end of October…with breads, and cookies, and more cookies.

and then Kuala in August. Jellies, and sauerkraut all done up neatly.


Yep, the conspiracy to see how many inches you can add to

your friends waist…  how many pounds can be added to the



There is breads, cakes, cookies, candies, and so much more.

With colors and smells that makes it hard to refuse… and besides,

everyone knows there isn’t any calories on holiday food, is the lies

we spin to ourselves.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Tragedy and Gun Control

I think I have hit on this subject before.. but after

Friday, it bares repeating..


Once again, a sick mind, takes out on others for their own

twisted mind..  This time there is children once again..

20 CHILDREN… 6 adults and another human being at a different



Once again we have the chicken little of the nation, screaming..


running around with your mouth going, protecting your gun closet..

How about picking up the ball… and come up with solutions of how

to prevent this from happening again..  And no, the solution is NOT

everyone carry a gun.  Surely you can’t be serious about children

carrying guns… Even if the teachers had a gun in their possession,

would they had time to act?


Why the children??? I guess that is a dumb question being we are asking

about someone who is suppose to be sane, and obvious this person was

not sane.


How do we protect our children in schools, churches and other places that

parents send their children? Are we becoming a country that you have to go

thru a metal detector to go in to a church, schools and theater?


You can’t blame this on economy, so is it the times? How is that?


No … those of you who are responsible gun owners..come up with some

real answers..  It isn’t the President (no matter which one) who is trying

to take away your gun privileges… it is the loose cannons, who get ahold

of guns, (not many do it with knives, bats and cars).. be it steal or borrow,

or buy a gun or two… what is the answer you can come up with?


Surely as most of you are also a parent.. you had to be moved by the sight

of parents outside that school.. wondering if their child was coming out or not.

If their child was one of the 20? As a spouse of the adults.. wondering if their

other half is coming out.. surely it breaks your heart like the rest of us, as we



So what say you gun owners.. what answers can you come up with? Without

emotional worry, and yelling… protecting your gun closet?   Come up with ideas

of how to protect the children, especially the children, as well as others.
We don't want to infringe on your rights... help us have you not infringe on ours.

Update On Pam Huston

Those who have read me for years... will remember the story I did in 2004 and 2005... that is below...

Today is a sad day, as the update is... Pam has left Earth and now sings in Heaven... She went to see the Lord on December 11, 2012... God Speed, Pam... now you can sing face to face.

Do you believe in Miracles

In October I sent this email out to my friends.... and at the end is the update for it.

Do you believe in Miracles
October 10, 2004
No, I am serious... do you believe in miracles? Think about it for a minute. Have you seen one? Do you really believe? Let me tell you something I heard today.

I am basely a cynic when it comes to life. Not with God, just life. I believe in God. I know he does wondrous things. I know people have come back from almost dying because of him. People come out of coma's because of him. People heal because of him. But never been around some one who really has had a miracle.

I have a friend called Pam. We became friends when I took care of her when I was working. And then I went to see her after I retired. Even when she moved to an Assisted Living place. I would show up once a month. Bring her orange roses. Her favorite color I found out when I brought her one while I was still working.

Pam had cancer... also because of a bad blood transfusion she ended up with Hep. C. Over the course of the past year, Pam's health has decline. But Pam could always find a silver lining. She is a Christian. She went into depression this pass Spring. But a dog called Zoey came to Pam and brought her out of it. Every time I go see Zoey and Pam, she would have a smile on her face no matter what. And she was in the 4of July parade with her electric wheel chair, with Zoey. She also decide to do something for others. So she join the Cancer Society to help them. She gave them the cd's she had left of hers to sell for money. I forgot to tell you... just before Pam started to get sick, she did a cd in Nashville. I am one of the lucky ones who has one. But she got ill before she could promote it.

About a month or so ago, Pam decided to try homeopathic health. She was bloating up, and she was sure it was her disease that was doing it. Figured she had nothing to lose. To make a long story shorter.. the stuff the gal gave her not only took the bloating away, but she felt better than she has for years. Her legs stopped aching after about a couple of weeks. Along with this, she has participated in prayer group. A heavy prayer group.. Daily...

She was feeling so much better that she went to her Dr. to get a slip for swimming therapy. When her Dr. saw her, he asked her what she had been doing. When she explained, he told her that was voodoo and to stop. That those people are just setting you up for failure. They will let you down. When she protested and he saw she wasn't going to change her mind, he told her to get out of his office and not come back. He wasn't going to be her Dr. anymore. Several days later, her electric wheel chair broke down. So she was using the regular one. She was with her friends doing her daily prayer and they were heavily in prayer, when she had to go to the bathroom. The girls continued to pray. She was sitting there and one of the girls asked her what did God's voice sound like. She said, I guess softly. Then a voice, told her to stand up and walk in to the room to join the girls praying, without saying anything. She thought, right... as if I could.. (remember she had not walked in years) The voice got more forcible... and told her to GO NOW... WALK.. walk in and don't say a word. She stood up, went to take a step and did not fall. Then she walked into the room without saying a word. When she got to the bed where the girls where still praying, they looked up and their mouths fell wide open. Pam has been walking for 6 days now. Her son came to see her the next day and he cried. Everyone can't believe it. She knows it is God. God's Grace. I know this because she called today to tell me. Also her recording studio is going to produce a cd with her singing gospel. When this comes about..(it takes quite a bit of time) I will let you know. I am going over to see her tomorrow.

October 11,2004,
I took purple roses over to Pam, as I couldn't find orange. She was sitting in her big overstuffed chair. I went to the dresser to put the roses in the vase. I turned to see Pam raise up from the chair and walked to me. We hugged and cried. What an overpowering feeling. I am so happy for her. She is so full of plans. Can't wait to sing again. Can't wait to start her cd. It was so wonderful. We had a great visit. She is going to continue with her therapy.
Praise God, and could you say a prayer for Pam for her continuing good health?Thanks and God Bless... "

Now for the update..
April 18,2005..your prayers must have worked.
Pam moved out of the Assisted Living right after the first of the year. I saw her at Wal-mart, walking around with one of her many friends. She was shopping for her new apt. at her friends home.
The next time was this past Friday, there was a beautiful picture of her and Zoey in the Sandpoint Paper with the title...

Cancer Survivor Pamela Faye Huston and her therapy dog Zoey pose for a picture. Huston a survivor of cancer of more than 30 years and became involved with the Cancer Society Relay for Life last year, when she volunteered to sing the National Anthem.

And she is going to sing it again this year plus some other thru the night, in June for the Cancer Society Relay for Life night. Also the article said her new cd went to press last Friday, April 15, 2005. It will be called YOU HEALED ME So if you see it in the stores... buy it... Pam has a wonderful voice. Yes, Pam is miracle, Zoey is her champion. Pam is just a down to earth wonderful young lady. I am truly blessed to be counted as her friend.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Nails and Keyboards....

As I posted before, I got my nails done.. which means

they are longer than I have ever grown them naturally.

They are pretty to look at, I have to admit…but not practical.


Typing on the keyboard has turn out to be challenging.. Not

so bad here, as my typing letters are bigger and I am taking

my time, as I type my thoughts..


But it has been a disaster on Facebook and in the comment area

of friend’s blogs.  First the letters are way smaller so the misspelt

is not quite so obvious. Add to that, the fact I type fast and then

hit the send part.. now on Facebook, I can edit it…but blog comment

areas that is not so.. once sent.. it is there for all to see… my friends

must think I have lost my mind or don’t care.


It isn’t that I don’t know how to spell… well, I am not the best but normal

words I do fine.  It is because these nails get in the way. First they slip

and hit the neighbor key, or the key doesn’t go down when touched

by the fingernail.  So there is it is… misspelt, missing letters, and letters

that don’t belong there.  E’s seem to be problems.. either not showing up

or getting too many of them.  Like the name of the post from the day before.

It was suppose to be …the head…but came out thee which I left as it applied even more to the tone of the post.


They say these things last up to 8 weeks.. well, either, I better slow down

and read as I type…. Or give up typing. Lol.. like that is going to happen.

I don’t know how women who have long fingernails do this… and a lot of
them have longer ones than I have.   

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tune in thee Head

I was reading a friend’s blog, and she mention Dr. Zhivago,

and so I have been humming that dang song all night and today

as well.. And I do love that song.. Actually it is a tune as I have

never heard the words… Lara’s Theme… I loved that movie as well.

And yes she mention my favorite part, the horse and sleigh going

across the field in a Russian winter wonderland. I own the movie.

But my VHS player doesn’t work.. so can’t watch it.


Funny how tunes hit you, without you knowing it is sneaking up

on you… I can remember a time when the King and I were heading

to Coeur d’ Alene on day, and he started humming, like one does,

without thinking..  Then he cussed.. as it was the song from Winnie

the Pooh, “I am just a little raindrop”… Which was from one of the

Winnie the Pooh movies that my grandson, at that time must have

watched at least 6 times a day. And that is the reason why the King

was cussing. He was so sick of that movie.


Every once in a while a tune will slip up on me.. and it is from about

40 or 50 years ago… “It is about time, it is about space, it is about the

human race”… that is all I remember but it comes to me in the weirdest

times. It is from a show called It is about Time, with Imogene Coca and

Joey someone.. about cavemen coming to the future..   


Then there is the one that sneaks in, when I am stressed out… I hum

it each time… every time..  it is Amazing Grace… for some reason that

seems to distress me.  


What tune pops into your head when you least expect it?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Am I a foo foo girl yet?

In the Spring of the year.. my sister in law talked

me in to having my toe nails done.. You got to understand..

I do my own…. Not well.. but over the years if I wanted

a little color in the summer, then I did my own. Like I said,

not well.. I don’t color in the lines well. But she got it for my

birthday present.. so you can’t refuse a birthday present.

Then my daughter hit me up a couple months later, to go

with her.


I have to admit, it was fun. And it was really actually very

nice has they massage your calf muscles as well as your

feet. Which is kind of like someone scratching your back,

nice if done by someone else.


Then this past weekend, my daughter suggested we do

a girl’s day together and get our nails done. She was going

to a company Christmas party, and wanted hers done. So

figured ….why not.  I had seen my sister in law’s on Facebook

and it look pretty cool… so there I was… getting my nails done.


Now I haven’t had my nails done in about 50 years, other than

me doing my own.. again.. not well. But ok.. and they peeled.

Also remember what I said about not being able to stay in the lines.


This poor gal had her work cut out for her.. I am not careful with

my hands.. and if this was summer it would definitely be a waste

of time and money.  But some were long…well, for me long.. and

some were short (broken off).  We opted for gel.. Which is where

they glue on these huge (think of witch nails 3 inches long) nails on..

and then they trim them to the length you like..

(kind of like shoeing a horse) with clippers and an electric drill like file.

Looked pretty nice.. but white. After a few coats of hardener on…

she put the red nail polish I requested… then she put a snowflake on

my thumbs and a spray on my ring fingers.. look pretty nice.  

You judge..


So does that make me a foo foo girl?  Not quite…. As while my

daughter was waiting for me to finish.. she went in the back room,

and had her eye brows shaped… You know where they put the

tape on you, and then pull it off fast.. I figured it was in the back

room, so the clients in front don’t hear you scream… nope..not

for me.. this is no foo foo girl…    

Monday, December 10, 2012

Inside or Outside...

I have over the years, become less and less of an inside

Christmas decorator.. I have a few thing, but most of it is



We have a flat tree on the wall.. and a few lights in a bowl

like.. but the rest are in windows to be seen from the outside.


Outside for a couple of years, I have had lights around the house

eaves and around the garage door. And around the fence.

And yes, they are up year around.. No one notices they are

there, and it is just easier to do that. Otherwise it is freeze

to death in December to put them up.. or put them up in

September. And if you are going to be that early……..well,

you might as well, just leave them up.


This year we got a Hunter Snowman with rifle that is a blow up.

And I put a couple of small trees down the driveway that I got

in a yard sale this summer. And some hanging bulbs that are

suppose to be solar powered.. but with lack of sun they aren’t.

And I have a wreath coming from Minnesota, that should be

arriving soon.  


So what are you? An inside or outside decorator or do you do both? 

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Shake one's faith and beliefs

Nothing puts your faith and beliefs to the test as, death.
Especially a sudden death.

Like most people, I have always believe that when we die
We go to a better place. It is always what one says, when we
hear someone has passed away. That is our faith. That we
go to heaven and live in God’s glory. Some of us even look
forward to that day. Saying we know it will be a glorious day,
We do not fear death.  Myself, I feel that way, just I am not
volunteering quite yet to go.
But if we have a friend or a love one who has cancer or some
other disease, and then passes, we feel it is a blessing.
That is our faith, that is our belief… ….. until…..

About 12 years or so ago, I lost two friends a year apart.

The first one, was in the hospital for an operation. She was
recovering when we went to visit her on our way to a Home and Garden show in Spokane.  We visited for about half an hour.

One the last things we talked about was my birthday, as it was the next day. She said to me, that she was so sorry as she had not had a chance to get me a card and gift.  I told her the best gift she could give me, was to get well and get home.  With that I gave her a hug and told her I would see her soon when she got home. That was Saturday.

I went to work Monday and half way thru the day (I worked day shift that year) word came down that Sherry had to go back in for another surgery. Then word came down before I left that she was doing fine in recovery.  Tuesday, at about 10am, word came down that she had passed away. She had a heart attack and didn’t survive it.

This woman was a mother figure to all of us aides. She was one of our top RN’s… there was not a dry eye in that place, not only by the workers but the residents too.  That took some getting use to. I still put flowers on her grave on Memorial Day.  

Then a year later, I was at home, when the Social worker at our place called me. She asked if I was sitting down. I told her no, and she asked if anyone was with me. I said no. She told me to sit down and then tell her when I did.  So I did as told, as she sounded pretty serious. Then she reported to me that one of our nurses had been hit by a train 2 hours before and died.  This nurse, was one of my more direct bosses. She was 41.Had two teen children.  
And I had talked to her just  half an hour before,
she died. Or even less. As when I was talking to her, she handed the phone to her daughter, while she went out to warm up the car. She was going to give her daughter a ride to bus stop, as she was going to town anyway.
The daughter and I joked around, and then Kelly came back on the phone. We had talked about the scare at work the day before (while I was off)  when they had to evacate the building. By this time I was working the late night shift.  Told her I would call her  the next morning when I got off work, as I was going back in that night. 

I could not believe my ears, I asked her to repeat it. I told her
that can’t be.. I talked to Kelly, just a little over 2 hours ago. I was reassured it was true, the State Police had came to the nursing home to tell the Administrator. … we both cried….

It took at least 2 years go get over that. Why? What happen? She had been over that road a million times. Best they could figure she went to stop, but the road had ice on it, and it skidded her out on to the track in front of the train, that was coming down at 55 mph.

As I tried to apply my faith, my belief, it wasn’t going well. Like I said it took over 2 years… I wanted to scream…but GOD…. I wasn’t done yet… There was so much more to say… I didn’t get to say good bye… I…WASN’T…DONE…YET!!!

I think that is what makes it so hard. The quickness of it. No time to say good bye.. no time to say how much you meant in my life.  No time… to say good ….bye…   I wasn’t ready yet….

I have come to believe, that there is a reason for everything, and some of which God has one, …one I don’t understand… never will… Life does not wrap up neatly like a television show.

I thought of this, this week, because last week, my Pastor lost his father. An unexpected death.. way too soon…with out any notice... and it is tearing him apart. You know He believes… but he didn’t get to say what he would like to say… and he didn’t get to say …..good bye… I love you….