Thursday, September 29, 2011

We are the fools....we believe...

Voting is frustrating.. Even more so now, and especially this
coming year. The choices would be a joke if it weren’t so serious. And everyone is saying what ever they think you want to hear. And we have known that for years. But now, you know it is out and out lies and no one seems to care. With Internet, blogs, and etc. always checking everything that is said and done, you know immediately when a lie is spread. Before it was said just before the elections and then it was too late to get the information out to everyone, and the person was in.

Now we have instant news. You don’t need to wait until the next night or the morning paper. It is on the news channels, it is on the internet in so many different forms. Facebook, blogs, and now we have Twitter.

But even with this instant news.. it seems like it is said, and no sooner the typing stops, it is forgotten. Don’t know if people don’t care or what. And then there are the spin folks. They spin a weave that fools so many. Seems like people are sheep, following the lead sheep right off the ledge.

I take great pride in voting. Always have. Considered it a privilege as well as a right. My one right of my own thought. When I go into that room, it is between me and my God who I vote for. I try my best to read everything on the person. Watch their body language, eye contact, to see who this person is. But that is getting harder to do. Because we expect them to tell the truth. And we know they will just say anything you want to hear, so you will vote for them.

Yes, it is harder than before. And personally, I don’t know what I am going to do next November.. of 2012. But I guess at my age, I shouldn’t worry too much, why suffer the heart ache of it? Who knows if I will be here next November. The whole think is a crap shoot.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Was learning cursive writing really necessary?

We all learn things in high school so long ago.. and even then, we wondered if this information we were trying to cramp in our brains were going to be useful later in life.
Never mind if we would use it to make a living…

Now 50 years later, I find out all that trouble of learning how to
write, not type, was for not. As everyone seems to do computers and typing seems to be the thing. Even the schools are second guessing the use of cursive writing. Personally mine was like chicken scratch. The more the hurry I was, the worse it was… But I have seen some beautiful cursive writing over the years and thought it was more like an art. An art I wish I had. But even though all those teachers tried and tried to get me on track, I was a total lost.

What else? Math? Will everyone have a calculator, or the computer that will do it for them? There will be children who will not be able to do simple math if this continue. My kids were furious with me, as I would not let them do their homework with the required calculator for classes. Told them, their brain did not require batteries and would not go dead. And then there is telling time. Now everyone has a digital watch/clock. Some kids look at a regular watch or clock and don’t get it.

What else will go to the wayside?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Love Affair...

What would you do, if you loved someone and wanted to impress
them, if you are a guy and the one you love lives on an island?
Would you be willing to row a boat in rough waters to the island,
from the island you live on?

I was reading another blog that told of the blogger finding the school that his mother taught at. Which reminded me of this man and the woman, who was a school teacher.

Before the turn of the 1900’th century, there was a young lady who left the island she was raised on called Prudence Island. She moved to a boarding house after high school so she could attend the college. Her dream was to become a teacher. She met a young man who took her fancy… and she his…

She went back to the island to teach in a one room school house. The island had maybe 50 residents, and I am not sure if that was summer time count or winter. As there were summer homes there. The only way to get to the island was by boat/ferry. Even to this day, that is still the only way to get to the island.

Prudence Island is a small island in Narraganset Bay. Kind of in a triangle between Jamestown, and Bristol and Newport. South of Providence. The bay can get awful rough at times.. and it isn’t easy going the rest of the time. So leaving the North end of Jamestown, where Aaron lived, to row a skiff across the bay to Prudence Island, was not an easy task. Yet he did it several times that summer. He courted Harriet for quite a while. Finally winning her hand in marriage. Traveling to New York City to a church called Church on the Corner.
Why they chose there, why they went to New York, as there were many of churches in R.I. ……. I don’t know.

Aaron ran a stable, and a delivery wagon and buggy. He took people from one side of the island of Jamestown, to the other, so the clients could catch the ferry to the mainland of Warwick and Newport on the other side. Later he would have a grocery store, and then in the 1930’s he had a Ford dealership, gas station and grocery store combo, in Jamestown. Going on to a Dodge dealership in Newport and Ford dealer ship in Middletown. (now you know why I am a Ford fan)

This union brought on 3 sons and one daughter…of which one of those son’s was my father.

Last I knew the little one room school house still is standing on Prudence Island and the last teacher taught in the 1981. That teacher was the nephew of Harriet, and my cousin, Bill Bacon.

Monday, September 26, 2011

You know you are growing old when....

Do you read the birthdays of the famous in the daily paper?
And when you see that some of your old movie stars or singers of
your day, and see they are in their 70’s or even 80’s (Tony Bennett is 85!!)
OR you read about one of the movie stars of your 20’s and think to yourself
“wow, I didn’t know he/she is still alive… I thought he/she died.”

And then there are the commercials… Robert Wagner, Pat Boone, selling
walk in tubs, health insurance, diabetic supplies, pain creams… and etc.
So much for our childhood heart throbs.

How did they get so old? But like my friend who is 5 years older than I,
when I suggested he go the senior citizen center and meet some people.
He was complaining about not having anyone in his life. I told him that
they have dances, play cards, special meals besides the lunches every day.
How at 76, he could find someone who would like the same things he did.
He could play piano for them. Have sing alongs, which he enjoyed.
So he replied with the remark of
“I don’t want to go down there, there isn’t any one there but old people”.
I was quiet for a minute and then said to him….

Of course age is a mind over matter. And I am still 48…
lol.. don’t get me wrong,
I will be the first person to tell you I am 71. But I feel 48.

Saturday, September 24, 2011


The post below is a VERY LONG LONG POST..

Coming out of the closet....

No, not that kind of closet… not that there is anything wrong with that.
(as was said on Senfield)

But for those who don’t know us personally, the King and I decided to make some changes in our life style. We made this decision in April. We, thru
the years have tried just about every diet. I know I have. Some worked and most did not. So when we made a decision to do it this time, we didn’t want to say anything to anyone, in case it failed once again. Those who have dieted over the years, know what I am talking about. So many diets, so many exercise machines and etc.

We are on a diet that has several rounds. You decide how many rounds you do. There things you give up… so if you can’t give up these foods and liquids, then stop and read no further. Because without doing this.. it isn’t going to work for you.

NO SUGAR, NO STARCH, AND NO OILS… NO CARROTS, or CORN, as they have sugar in them. (I didn’t know about carrots) NO BEER, NO WINE…
Are you still with me?
Ok. LOTS OF WATER, I SAID LOTS OF WATER. ( I wasn’t a very good water drinker before this) You eat vegetables, and fruit, and some meats, fish, chicken. You broil, bake, or grill your meats. AND portions are very, very important. NO BREAD, NO CHEESE, NO MILK. But you can have coffee and tea, but only a tablespoon of non-fat creamer Still here?

If you are over the age of 40, then you remember the fact that your mother did not fill up half of the plate with meat. It was one ¼ of the plate at best. You had a baked potato, another vegetable and salad. This is very similar. You have a small piece of meat. Chicken or fish preferred, but an occasional beef. (no pork) and that beef is to be very lean. And lots of green salad… 2 cups worth. Salad dressing is vinegar and a herb season. You can have salt, pepper and other seasonings. You can have mustard, but NO KETCHUP, NO MAYONAISE .

We have what we call naked hamburgers. It is where you lay a leaf of lettuce on the plate. Put a slice of onion on that, then your hamburger(100gm), a slice of tomato, and another leaf of lettuce. Pick it up like you would any hamburger. Believe it or not, it taste great. Remember the meat has to be lean, and grilled, not fried. NO FRIED FOOD. Sorry no cheese either.

We started in April and went to mid May for the first round. The King lost 28 pounds. I lost 19. Then we went into what they call maintenance. That is where you can add a tiny bit of one of the forbidden… oils… for 3 weeks you can have polish sausage, one piece of bacon once a week… and etc. VERY LITTLE.. during that time you keep weighing yourself and make sure you DO NOT GAIN weight. You are allowed up to 2 pounds gain, but if more, then you do an apple day. Which is eating only apples for the day (all you want), and a steak and apple for dinner.
If you do it right… you will stay the same or you will lose a pound a week. If not, then you are not downsizing your food. After those 3 weeks, you can chose to do another 3 weeks, of having some tiny bit of starch. Or you can chose to go to Round 2. Everyone I know, chose to go back and do round 2.

During this first round you will be surprised. As you will start to lose weight. But it isn’t just loosing weight, it is that you start to get energy. You want to do more things. AND…AND… you will lose weight in the hardest place of all. Especially for women… you lose first in your hips and stomach. I kid you not. You will be shocked to put on tight pants and find out they not only fit better but are a little looser in the hips. You won’t notice it as much as your friends will. Everyone I know has lost 20 or more pounds in that first 40 days. It is 40 days on, 30 days off and maintain, and then go back to round 2 or start 30 days of little starch.

The King and I are on round 3 heading for maintenance 3 in a few days. In this time he has lost about 59 pounds. Going from 317 pounds to 258 today. As you can see in the picture… he looks great. He has done the best over all of the two of us. What this has meant to him, is more energy. He has a bum knee and had trouble going up and down ladders. He could go up and down about twice and pay the price for it for a day or two… before… Now he is up and down so many times we haven’t counted. And no problems. We remodeled our kitchen and deck. He was very active in helping out on this..working until about 8 at night. Instead of falling asleep in the chair as before… His visit to the Dr. in July gave him great news. The King is a diabetic, controlled by pills but on the verge of going to have to go to needle/shots. When he saw his doctor in July and had lost almost 50 pounds, the doctor was amazed. And really amazed when his nurse brought in the Kings numbers for the 3 month diabetic reading. He cut the Kings pills in half. Instead of taking 2000 (a full pill in am and a full pill at dinner time) to 1000 per day. With the talk of if he keeps it up, that by winter he could be off of the pills. The King is ecstatic to say the least. He is looking forward to hunting. Before he ended up being the transportation for others and sit on the stump hunter. Now he can once again walk thru the woods and hunt. He wants to lose 30 to 40 more pounds. So he will continue on the diet until next April. Rotating between the diet and the maintenance part.

Myself, I have lost a total of 56. From a size 20 to a size 10/12 (depending on pants). And I lost 13 inches off of my hips. I have tried every diet since the 1960’s. I have owned one type or another of almost every exercise equipment that is sold. The time I did as well, was when I starved myself by eating only toast for breakfast, and salad for lunch and dinner for 2 months… with an exercise tape I hated with a passion, and walked 3 miles each day. I went from 155 to 121. I looked like death warmed over, they say. So to come out of this one, eating properly, and looking good… well, all I can say it works. And I never feel hungry. I haven’t had pizza, bread, Italian food for 7 months and don’t miss it at all. Neither does the King.

So if it is that simple about being discipline, then why did I call this the out of closet? The answer is we did use a product to help with the cravings. A product when I mention it to you, you might say “oh, yea, heard about that…not good for you I heard” or, you might stand there, wondering if you might want to try it. As you have seen the King and I have done well. You might know someone near yos with cravings. We found within a week we were not wanting to have more to eat. We were full. We have plenty to eat… so you really aren’t hungry, but it helps for the sugar craving we all go thru when giving it up. We saw Dr. Oz’s show about it. There were over 200 there who did very well. And they only interview 2 who had problems. One had her hair fall out. She was not eating her proteins. The other had fainted… she was not drinking enough water. YOU HAVE TO DRINK FLUIDS…lots of fluids. And yes, coffee does count. Just no sugar in your coffee. Stevia is ok. You can drink tea, no sugar. Some of them say 500 calories a day, yes, I did say a day. But because the King is a diabetic I had to make sure he stayed healthy. So he was on a 800 calorie a day. He had plenty to eat, just a lot better choices. Fruits for lunch with some meat rolled in a lettuce leaf, with mustard and occasional onion.
I did a 600 calorie a day. I am telling you, if you eat like they tell you.. you will feel full. I never ever felt like I was being deprived. So what is the name of the product? HCG. It is sold in most health stores. Like I said, I got mine in GNC store. I joined their membership which saved me almost $20 on each bottle. The bottle will last you a month. Unless you decide to do the 10 drops instead of the 7, which we did. Then it last about 26 days.

You have to be careful where you get the product. Don’t count on a online company. Only if you know someone who is on HCG and they get the product from that company and they have had good results. Use the brand that your friends have used. Where you can see the results. You will find there are some naysayers on line about it. Even the BBB down graded it. But they downgraded it in general not in product brand name. Which is a shame. As the complains they got I am sure were the phony ones. The reports say that HCG does not make you lose weight. And that part is true. They say the less calories are what makes you lost weight. And that is true too. But the HCG, and it has to be a good product brand name, does help you get thru the sugar cravings and helps clean out your systems. No, not the kind that has you sitting on the toilet for hours. It is a gentle not noticeable cleaning out. You will feel so much better. Not sluggish like you were before. And when you eat some of that forbidden food (sugar and starch) you will notice how it effects you when you have eaten too much of it. As you will get back that sluggish feeling again. We were raised with little meat and lots of veggies, and fruits… so it is kind of like returning to your childhood meals.
And you will be shocked to see how your hips and belly go down.

So if you decide to try it… find someone who has done it. Find out which product name did they use. It is spendy.. I pay $71 a bottle. I have heard there is another one out there that is cheaper, but don’t know what the name is, and don’t know anyone who has tried it. I use RestorHCG. From GNC. I know two people who have kept the weigh off for a year so far. 5 that have kept it off for 8 months so far. You do not have to exercise… in fact during the diet itself, they suggest you don’t. You can do walks but not work out at the gym. You need the little protein you get… but you can exercise during the maintenance time. And as said before you will find lots of energy, so you will be busy doing things. So if you decide… good luck.

If you have questions look at my profile and use my email address, I will answer honestly. You can google HCG and there is at least 2 blogs out there of women who used it and did great. GOOD LUCK…

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Good grief, I can hear you now.. and everything else as well.
I had gotten hearing aids about 5 years ago. After a short while, they were on the dresser more than in… and when the King needed hearing aides at work, I had him go in and get tested. And had them adjusted for him. They just didn’t work well for me. I still couldn’t hear the minister in front but I could hear the gossip two pews back. And being I was there to save my soul, listening on gossip didn’t seem like the way to go.

So when I came in to a little bit of money, one of my goals was to get good hearing aides for us both. We went and got tested last week. Last night, at 5pm, we got our new hearing aides… and Yes, I can hear you now. Boy is Costco noisy.

On the way out of the parking lot, I heard this kind of squishing sound. Then it dawn on me, it was the tires rolling on the pavement. And I have since learn that my dryer makes a scrapping sound as well as the hum of the motor. And when I turn on the television, I had to run to the remote and turn it down, as it was so loud from when I had been watching it earlier in the day. These keys are noisy as well. And I laughed as the King turn on the turn signal and I thought about how noisy it is, and it sounded weird, as I realize I could hear it well now. Oh, yea, I ran into the kitchen to find out where the water leak was, as I could hear water running... only to find out it was the dishwasher... funny I never heard that before.

It is going to take a little getting use to. One thing is the hearing aides have gotten a little more refine in the past 5 years. As I have over the ear as before, but the part that goes into the ear is so much nicer and smaller. The real test will be my daughter and my son in law… both talk so quietly…and it will be nice not to say, “what? I didn’t catch that” or if I was too embarrassed to ask, I would just let it go and hope I didn’t say yes or no at the wrong time.
So do I hear you now… oh, yes… but the guy said he could give us better hearing but he could not guarantee that we would listen better.. ha ha

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Alzheimer's and Diabetics

There has been recently reports of a diabetic spray for Alzheimer patients and some pretty good results…

This doesn’t really surprise me. There was a conversation between a nurse and myself one morning, ten years ago, as we were heading to the end of our shift. She was getting the needles ready with the insulin for the diabetic of our area. And I said something to the tune of, good thing there isn’t any Alzheimer residents who have diabetes, as you can imagine what it would be like trying to give them a shot. Especially the violent ones. Then I followed up, you know, come to think of it.. I don’t ever remember not even one Alzheimer resident having diabetes. I wonder, do you think there is a connection? After all, I had been there for 17 years. And she replied… you know, now that you mention it, I don’t ever remember giving an Alzheimer patient a shot either.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was that simple. The articles I have read, has even talked of reversing Alzheimer’s somewhat, with the spray. And its staying power even after it stopped. What a glorious day that would be, if it proves to be true.
As that is the one disease that scares me the most, more than heart attack or cancer. It wouldn’t be so bad for me, as every day would be a new day… but it would be a living hell for my family. I have seen it so often, in my line of work and even in my personal life with friend’s families.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

New Jobs...

A friend of mine came up with a way to employee millions of
people, nation wide. Well, all but one state, as it already has
this job and it has been working out well, there. Some have complained
about it, when they travel to that state. I guess mainly because we are
so use to doing it ourselves, we are set back when we travel to this
State and have it done by the employee ONLY… This state’s rule goes back 20 years? Or even more maybe..

But think about it.. millions of jobs across the nation. And it shouldn’t cost too much more. As in this state that already has it, the price of the product isn’t much more if at all, than that product in our own states.

I think she is on to something. This job would help the elderly, the disable, a great deal. And it sure was nice in the past, when this job was done then by an employee. Now we not only do it ourselves, but we don’t even have some one to take the money for it, as it is by credit or debit card now. Which there is nothing wrong with that if you are in a big hurry… but either way you still have to be in line to get it done. So why not, no more getting out of your car in the snow, rain, wind. No more colder than cold nozzles, as you stand there freezing to death or hotter than Hades.

Yes, I am talking about the gas station attendant. For those younger than 30, or have never been to Oregon… there use to be a person who came out and asked you, how much gas you wanted, and while it was filling, cleaned your windshields. Even asked if you wanted your oil checked, and if it was low, would put in a quart. How cool was that. A human being, who asked what you wanted, and took your money… and off you went, in your vehicle, still warm or not too hot, and everything was done.

So how much difference is the price of gas in Oregon compared to the rest of the nation? You have two day time workers (for each aisle) , two afternoon workers, and two late evening workers who rotate around each other.. There is 6 jobs at one gas station. Times that to all the gas stations there are in this nation… and you got millions of workers.

Yep, my galpal has a good idea. May not be the highest paying job in the nation, but it is work. It will buy groceries for their families, pay the bills, and it is a start.
Any one know the price of gas in Oregon, oppose to the other states?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Snow and Tomatoes... alike?

It is all or nothing. Kind of like snow…

You know, the first couple of days of snow you marv at the beauty of the
fields and yard. And don’t mind, maybe, shoveling a little? But when the
snow comes fast and furious, it gets old real fast…
Same with tomatoes. The first one comes and you savor the flavor of it.
You might pick the second one, that is a little orangey, a little early and put
it in the window with anticipation of the taste soon. Then there are a couple
more, but lots of green ones. The weather is getting colder and you are
wondering are they going to be ripe in time, as there are almost 100 or
more green ones.
Now 6 at a time are ripening.. you give some away as your refrigerator
drawer is starting to fill up. You make stewed tomatoes as you can’t freeze them.
(I refuse to can them, that is another day of posting on that one)
Now you have them all over, what do you do? I found the solution…
FOOD BANK.. …. And they love it..

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

What is in a name?

We all know that our name and address is sold daily, over and over.
You don’t even have to be alive. Case in point we got all kinds of ads in the King’s mother’s name. Then they finally stopped 4 years later. (one was from a funeral home insurance, I let them have it, as it was 9 months after she passed)
And about 4 years later, it started up again. So some companies paid for a dead person’s name.. sad.. to say the least.

I tried to do a no mail, like the no call for phones. But it was an auto machine that took your information when I refused to give out my SS number the machine went crazy. It kept repeating over and over. "That is not a proper number." All because I kept telling it no, when it asked for it. One of the times I tried by saying 000 00 0000, that about sent it over the edge… so I hung up.

But I digress, some where, some one in the world of name list, decided that my first name meant I was Spanish. So I have been overwhelmed with totally Spanish ads. I suspect Frontier who took over the Verizon home phone service. As they were the first to send me one of their ads with the only English on the whole page was my name. Of which I sent back and said WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? I AM AN AMERICAN, WHO DOES NOT SPEAK NOR READS SPANISH!!. I got a letter of apology and a $25 cash card to use at any store of my choice. Then a month later… I started getting all kinds of Spanish mail. With no English at all. Except my name, of course. Being I don’t have a clue what they say, I shred them. I have St. someone medals sent to me (guess I look like I need to be saved.) The rest I don’t know what they are. Heck they could be telling me I have won millions… nah, no 1,000,000,000… in the ads. Lol

So does your name draw unwanted mail? Do they assume something about you, because of your name?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Movies that make you think...

I went to see the movie called THE HELP, with my gal pal. It was a pretty good movie.

I tend to judge movies in 3 catagories…
First one is to see it on the big screen. Like Aviatar, Dancing with Wolves, and Titanic. Where you really need to see it on a big screen. I have seen all 3 in the theater and on television. It just isn’t the same.
The next one is watch it on video, like Netflix. And finally there is the television.
I rarely go to the theater, so most of the movies I see are on Netflix. THE HELP would have been a Netflix one. It isn’t that it wasn’t that good, as it was..but it wasn’t $10.00 worthy. The going price for movies these days. I did get the senior discount so it cost me $8.00.

Being raised in R.I. I went to school with blacks.. My mother had a black friend who babysat my brother and I as children. She was the wife of a man called Jess, that drove my great grandfather’s car. Her name was Mable. Mable could sew anything, and she had a section of her living room with a sewing machine and table near a window. And her house always had wonderful smells of baking and cooking. So I was aware as a child, of nannies, and maids and etc. But in our town there were blacks and also there were Irish ones of each. I was so use to blacks, that when I went to Miami Beach, Florida to help my grandfather, I was flabbergassed that I could not sit next to the lady who came to clean my grandfather’s house each week. I was blown out that Louie Armstrong could not stay at the same hotel that he was performing at. He had to stay in Miami, where the black could live. In Miami Beach, no blacks were allowed after 7pm unless they had special permission to do so. Like working a rich families parties. This was all beyond my comprehension. It was 1958.

So it was a surprised as we left the theater to hear my gal pal to say, wow, I never knew it was that bad for them. I didn’t know they were treated that way. Now granted 90% of her living was or is, here in Bonner County. But she did live in a town in Montana and a coastal city in Oregon. So we had quite a discussion about the movie and about what I saw in my life time. Guess that is a sign of a good movie, when it prompts discussions.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Are you a newly widow, or about to become one?

Been going thru my files and came across this.
Maybe it will help someone else. You see I became a widow, April 17, 1986.
A year later a friend lost her husband and I wrote this and then I refined it
about 8 years later for another friend. And that was 10 years ago.(now 25)

I have a friend who became a widow 2 weeks ago… and thought this was
worth repeating. .....(had a post on it in 2006)

What I learn by being a Widow.

Do not give away his personal things for a minimum of 6 months, and year
if possible. If it hurts to see them, then pack them in boxes until a year
later. There is need to give things away maybe share in helping the grieving.
I don't know. But if you wait a year, you give or sell things that are done with
your head and heart. Not just your heart if you do it right away. I did not follow
this rule to the fullest and learn to regret it. IF you are to give anything.
ONLY what your husband told YOU he wanted given away, if anything ever happen.
You will be amazed at the people who will come up to you and tell you or your
children that your husband said they could have an item if anything happens to him.
Then there are the "helpful friends" who will buy his things at a small price.
My husband had guns and he was a mechanic-welder. I had offers of $25 for
a $300 rifle and $10 for a pistol. "To help me out.”
If you really need to sell, get help from someone who is NOT going to benefit
from it. I went to parts stores that sold tools and asked them. Told them of
my lost and that I didn't plan on getting rich from these sales, but I didn't want
to be taken either. The owners were very helpful. One large piece I wrote
to a dealer in Spokane, explaining and they, too, were helpful.

About 3 weeks after my husband died, I came home and just the look of the
yard, set me off. I was mad. I was mad he left me. (as if he wanted to die) I
was mad he left me with the whole mess. The yard wasa mess. Over grown.
I worked in Sandpoint, 25 miles away. Leaving at 4 am and coming home
almost 3 pm was too much. I couldn't keep up with the housework and the
yard work. We had been on disability with Social Security. We had just
three children left. Two were to graduate in 3 weeks.Our SS was to be cut
that same month he died because our youngest was 16 the day after we
buried him. And SS had decided to mess around with the check. They would
put in $3000 and then take it out. I was going crazy. If he were here I wouldn't
be in this mess. Damn him!! Why didn't he watch his health all these years?
For 3 hours I swore, cried, and even wish it was me instead. So there will be anger.
Anger at him, God, yourself. The “ if onlys”that will drive you crazy.”
"If only” if I had said. If only I had done whatever. But this too will pass.

The nights. Days are usually fairly full. I had started a job 11 days after
his death. It was good. I was kept busy - too busy to think. The nights
were hard. Then I remembered watching a late night show and they
had George Burns on. It was after Gracie had died. He was talking about
how hard the nights were for him. Then he slept in Gracie's spot. He said
it was a calming effect. First, there was the smell. Then the fact when he slept
in his own place, he would look for her, in her spot.But he didn't feel for or look
for Gracie, when he was in that spot. And it wasn't natural for him to look at
his own spot. It worked for me also. Maybe it will for you.

Every wedding, birth of a grandchild. You will be there thinking if only he
could see this. Then you got to remember he is - just up above. While there is
comfort in that - it isn't the same. There will be a time when something real
important will happen and you will think, oh gosh, wait until I tell him.
Then you remember you can't. With me it was downtown and a friend had
told me of a mutual friend who had a heart attack and died the night before.
And my first thought was how upset Marv will be to lose this friend.
Then to realize they are together now.
It has been 10 years now for me.(now 25) And I have gone on. I have a very
special friend in my life(I married him 12 years ago). When Marv's face faded
unless I had a picture, I felt I had betrayed him. But I still have him in my heart
and always will. He was my husband, my lover, the father of my children, and
most of all - he was my best friend. I miss him. Always will. But I would want
him to go on. I would not want him to mourn me forever. To be alone.
And he did not want me to either. We talked about it. We said it would be our jobs,
our children and then whatever happens - happens. One day at a time. Good Luck

After 6 to 9 months, some of your friends will change. The women seem to feel
threaten when you are around, when their husband is around. The same
women who had their husbands helping you at first. They seem to be
uncomfortable. Like you would be interested in their husbands. Fat chance.
Your husband is still very much on your mind. Maybe they are thinking
of the old "gay widow" from the 1920's. And some of the men. It is weird. I have
talked to some of my friends who have been widowed. After a while some of
your husband’s friends may make a pass at you. Myself, I was so out to lunch,
I didn't catch it. Then when I caught on, I was embarrassed. Did I say something?
Did I do something to get this reaction? Even had one say -"well, you were use to
getting it and now you can't - so I, uh - uh, thought I could help you out."
When he said "it", I was so dumb I didn't know what"it" was. By the time he got to
the "help you out", I was sick to my stomach and wanted to up chuck. I think I mumbled something about I DON'T THINK SO. And left.

My children were and are good to me. Except at first I felt like they thought I
died too. They started talking about getting rid of this and that. And finally
I had to put my foot down and say. I will take care of things. I will decide
what goes and when. And when they asked “well what are you going to do
with the tools. You can't weld. You can only do limited mechanizing.” I told
them I knew people who did know how to operate the tools and whenmy car breaks down then I can have them fix it with the tools. And I will let them borrow the tools if they
need them in exchange, for the work. Which brings up another. Borrowing of
AND WHEN. AND IF THEY BRING THEM BACK. I lost a few tools as I
forgot who borrow and if they brought them back. I made a list. One of them
was a $300 piece. Believe me when you start asking if you loan someone something, it
can get sticky.

Your sanity
A year later you will find out you did do something unbelievable. And when it
dawns on you – you will doubt your sanity. It is ok. It was the stress of the time.
I hid 3 expensive tools in an old shirt under my bed behind some boxes
that I stored there. Found them there. Could not remember putting them there.
A friend , who lost her husband had hid a gun in the basement behind a large box.
It was rusted when she found it two years later. She thought she had sold it.

The first Birthday, Father’s day, Thanksgiving and Christmas are rough.
After the second one it gets easier to deal with. Then as the years pass you
really won’t think about the day itself. But you will find yourself bitchy, out of sorts.
And wonder why? Then you think about what day it is and it will dawn on you
this is the day he died. But life will go on. Keep yourself busy doing things you like.
There is always the nay sayers who talk behind your back.
“Well, if I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t be doing that and the answer to that is
LADY,YOU AREN’T IN MY SHOES, and Thank God you aren’t. There are
those who will stare at you because you are laughing. Some times things are
funny in sad situations. It does the soul good to laugh . The main thing after all
that is said and done. Is to take it one day at a time. EVERYDAY.
You can not live next week or tomorrow TODAY.

If you can—sleep on any major decisions. Life will go on and so will you. Just don’t
live in the past, just visit it from time to time......Good Luck. If I can help,
by listening or answering any questions....just ask. Now 25 years later I
can tell you life will go on. Life will be good. And some times God will bless
you twice. He did with me... he gave me the King, with whom I love very much,
and is good to me. But be careful, who you date, and get involved with…
and if he is pushy, run… fast as you can away from the situation..
Wait a couple of years to get married. Get to really know the guy, and
like the first time around… he isn’t going to change with a wedding band on
your finger.. so what you see before is what you get. Make sure he is what you
can live with… I waited 13 years.. you don’t have to wait that long, but 4 years
is a good measure. You be careful, as there are some pretty bad ones out there.
NEVER EVER, EVER…give him money. If he asks, run, run as fast as you can.
Most good guys come along when you aren’t looking for one.

Live your own life, go to dinner with friends, be the male or female, enjoy what
interest you. No woman NEEDS a man, but they can enjoy their company with
no strings attached. A good relationship is when you compliment each other’s life.
Good luck…

If I disappear....

My computer is acting up.... so sending it in to see what is up...
So if I disappear this week..., it is because my computer is in the shop...

Thursday, September 08, 2011

"Where were you when?"

This will be the question this weekend, actually all this past week as well… as the memorial for the 10th anniversary of the World Trade Center being hit for the second time.
(remember it was hit by bombs about 5 years earlier)

I am from the generation of “where were you at when?”
Pearl Harbor … I was probably in my crib for a nap (as I think it was about
1pm est.) as I was 1 year and 8 months old.
JFK killing… I was in San Diego, California feeding my kids.
RFK killing… I was asleep when my sister in law woke me to
tell me.. I had just got out of the hospital from having twins.
Smaller on the scale was Ok. Bombing .. don’t remember where I was
on that one. MLK killing.. don’t remember but it was the day before my
birthday I believe.

But 10 years ago, this Sunday, I was working. I had just left the building at 6:05am. I turn on the usual station that I listen to, with the married couple that had music and chit chat, that I listen to on the radio each morning as I head home… when one of them said they just got word that a plane had hit the World Trade Center in New York at 9:00am est. It was of general thought that it was a small plane, Cessena like type… wondering what happen to the pilot that he hit the building.. By the time I got home 15 minutes later, driving into the driveway, they said it was a large jet like plane.

I turn on the television with New York station (I had a satellite at the time) and saw the smoke pouring out of the building.. and in a matter of minutes or seconds, a second plane hit. It is at this time the reporter tells us that these are airline planes. I called my daughter… who was getting ready for work. She had the television on, a different channel. As they are showing, for the time, the second plane hitting. It is then we hear that it is not only an airline planes that have hit the building but they were full, as they were heading to California that morning when they were taken over and taken into the buildings.. Both of us in horror as we start to realize, not only is this a terrorist whackos, but they have taken thousand of people (with both planes) with them. As we are digesting the horror of this.. my daughter says, I have to go to work now, Mom… but I just heard on this channel that there is a rumor of a plane hitting the Pentagon as well. Call me at work, it if is true…

I called her at work to tell her it not only is true, but there is another plane that crashed in the state of Pennsylvania, but it didn’t hit any buildings and they don’t know if it is connected or not. She said that all the computers at work were on national news.

The rest, as we know, is history… but one of the thoughts as I watched the planes hitting the buildings… was what I left at work.

See each morning as the last part of my job, I get a few people dressed and up for the day. So they sit there in their wheelchairs, for 2 hours in their room, waiting for breakfast. My last act of the shift is to turn on the television so they can watch the local news and see what the weather is going to be, and what day it is… it is a part of orientation, to keep them in the know of what day it is and etc.
As I sat in my living room, watching the news unfold, my thoughts went back to those 3 ladies, I left to watch the news. And my heart sank. I called back to work and told them, and the aide said they were heading to breakfast so they are ok.
I wonder what they thought as they watched it.

I am sure, this weekend, you will be telling… where were you when, at least once if not more… a mere day, that changed our lives forever. Not only the lost of innocent we lost during the others mention above, but our security and our lack of control over our own lives.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

As the summer fades,

The headlines are once again screaming about the killing
of our troops… but this time it is here on our own soil.
For now, an unknown reason of why, this man walked into
an I-Hop’s restaurant and open fire, on some of our National
Guard who were sharing coffee and talking. As always our
main question is WHY?

But once again to me.. the question is about his friends and family.
I say that because, once again the family shares with the news media…
that this person was disturbed, had mental problems. Why is it we
always learn this AFTER the fact? Does the family not want to get
involved? Is the system so slow in reacting, that family members are
afraid they will be harmed/shot?

It even locally, in Spokane, have a young man who walked across the
hall, and shot a young woman who he had feelings for, because I guess,
she didn’t return the feelings, he shot her and then himself. Again, friends said,
the young man had problems, black out drunkenness and etc.
Yes, he was a nice guy. But he had problems…

I know I will get the wrath of God down on me for the following, but
how do these people fall thru the system?
Why isn’t there some way to keep guns out of these people’s hands?
Now every pro gun person will scream at me. But I would think they too,
would want the guns out of these hands as well. As it makes it bad for those
who are sane and responsible gun owners. I am not saying no guns at all.
There are many, many, many responsible gun owners. But why do
people have to suffer from the mentally ill who have guns in their hands.
When it seems like it is preventable.
I know they can use a knife, baseball bat, and etc.
That is why I don’t blame the gun, I blame the system.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

How do you end up with your pets?


One of the ways I have.. is my kids…
As each child left the nest… I was left
a cat or a dog… guess it was not too bad,
when you consider it could have been a lizard
mice or snakes. (which I did not allow in my house).

Velvet was the kid’s dog, and we kept her for
a year or so, then we were moving into to town,
and couldn’t have dogs.. So we gave her to a family
of 6 children.. for some reason that didn’t turn out
well. I don’t know why, as Velvet was a love. She
was a black lab that was left in a dumpster as a pup.
We had her for 8 years.

Then there were the cats… Patches, and Tig, and Ebony.
Eventually, Patches owner moved back to the area and she
was taken home with her owner and lived a long life.
Tig ended up at a farm… which he loved, but for some
reason he decided to run across the highway and that
didn’t end well. Ebony, stayed with us until the end.
He was my son’s black cat.

So with the kids being adults with kids of their own,
We have been doing pretty well, animal wise. We do
have the brat cat and dog.. who run this household.

Then along came Meow. Rokon has turn into a black
panther, with the teeth and screech and all. Misty, thought
Meow was like Rokon (her playmate) and chased him
under the bed… being cornered and not knowing who or
what the brown thing was and no where to go, Meow,

slapped Misty’s face. Which sent Misty running and yelping.
One cat and one dog, who are both low keyed is what
our household has been… so why did we sign on with
a youngster, who isn’t lowkeyed? One word. Grandson.

Mom already has a cat who did not do well with Meow
when he first appeared in all our lives. So with no where
else to go, we were chosen. Grandson didn’t want to
take Meow to the shelter, as that is where he got him 2
years ago, and he didn’t think that was fair. So, I have
been chosen to find Meow a good home. You know, (and
the King knows) the likely hood of that is nil next to none.
After all, the shelter has so many they are trying to find

homes for, as it is. And I gave my word I would try to find

that special home for Meow. He is a tall black, long hair, lovable guy.

He does love the outdoors, but checks in regularly thru the day.

So he is low maintenance. Luckily Grandson informed me not

to worry if he stays out over night, so when he didn’t check in

one night, I didn’t freak that I lost the Grandson’s cat.

I guess in the summer we are the motel. Kind of like Rokon

treats us. Hopefully by late fall, these 3 will tolerate each other

better. Meow doesn’t seem to have much of a problem,
It is the brat kids, that are having problems sharing. Well,
not so much Rokon, she gives wide berth to Meow since
getting her face slapped.

Monday, September 05, 2011

SUMMER IS NOT GONE!!!!!! I refuse

I refused to give up and say summer is over.
Over the years, summer started for us on May 30th
and Labor Day signaled it was over. But I refuse…refuse
You hear, refuse to say that summer is over. It was late
getting here, by not showing up until first week of July.
That gives us July, and August… we were robbed a month,
so I demand to get one more month before I will think of
letting go.

We still have the lake to enjoy. We only had the boat out
one day this year. Ok, Ok, so that is our fault with our project taking up weekends. But even the King didn’t
get to start work until mid June.. where it is usually the
end of April. So it has been work, projects, and then finally
August.. we are done, but he is still working… and some how
August flew by. Seems like it just started. I demand a recount. Surely there is more days left.

I know, Indian Summer will come, but that isn’t the same.
Indian Summer has cold mornings and foggy mornings.. and
the sun burns it off by 11am. I want 5am sun.. (that already is gone) I want coffee on the deck still at 6am.. and not wrapped up in a blanket to enjoy it.

I WANT SUMMER BACK… well, at least this week will
be 90’s… but these 40’s early mornings make my lips turn blue.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Players Show of Emotions....

Recently a football player and his team were penalized for him showing emotion of pointing to the sky…after a goal was completed. What kind of a society are we promoting when a young man can’t show some kind of emotion.. (see a friend of his had died in a car accident…) and it was his way of saying this one if for you. What is wrong with that?

What does that have to do with the rules of football? Actually it has been a long standing rule (well, recently standing one). I think the reason they used was, that it wasn’t fair to the other team to show excitement for making a goal. EXCUSE ME??? I am sorry but for years, heck for centuries people have been emotional about being able to do something… like winning. Be it a foot race, motorcycle race, horse race, car race, baseball run, well, you get the picture… so when and what cynic made up the rule for football players couldn’t.

This particular one was just pointing up to the sky. What the heck is wrong with that. Is the other team going to be offended? I say NOT… even the other team probably would have said the same.. especially if they knew why the young man did it… besides why punish the whole team for one person.. wouldn’t it be more in line to put the player in the sidelines for x amount of time? But still punishing one for a sign of emotion, is well not only depressing, but..assine.

But take it farther… the professionals dance, chest slam each other, and etc.. SO WHAT??… first of all, it is over in seconds. Second, the excuse that it isn’t fair to the other team, they get offended.. oh, for Christ sake (oops that is probably not political correct either). What kind of a mammy pammy group are we raising here? These are rough tough fighting football players… they are out there to slam down, push down, in your face players. AND THEY GET OFFENDED BY A VICTORY DANCE OR SHOW OF EMOTION? OH…GIVE…ME.. A …BREAK!!!!!!