I had the meanest parents EVER….

I had the meanest parents EVER…. 

Like every kid, I thought I had the meanest parents.

It took over 20 years to appreciate what all my parents did.

I was born in the spare the rod, spoil the child..   And I am here to tell you, my brother and I were not spoiled.  Yes, he got out of lots of trouble because he was 4 years younger than I.   But he got pretty much his fair share.   It was my mother who was the discipline person. Being a horse farm there were plenty of handy items… But that is the way life was in our generation’s life.   A lot decided to NOT do the same type of punishment when we got our children.. but sadly there were many who carried on the tradition.

We got our fair share of punishment..  but we got other punishment some times .. that was not as harsh.  But almost rather got the beating than the chore. I did learn to look pass that..  because surprise, it made me what I am today..   I did learn there is a difference of spankings and beatings..

The children raised in the 1950 (we were raised in the 1940’s)

But looking past that part of being raised. There were things that we thought our parents were mean..  and when we got in our 20’s and now we are in our 70’s and 80’s we see they were not mean at all. They were stern.  And thru that.. we learn.

I learn at the age of 6 to wash lunch dishes.. by 8 I was doing all of the dishes. And did them to the day I left my parents house..  and even for returning visits.  I took out the garbage until my brother got old enough to do that.  I clean stalls for MANY MANY years. I fed the horse and chickens before I went to school and later before going to work.  Weekends were cleaning stall .. all my job.  That meant throwing hay in the stalls, changing out the water..  and feeding the chickens.   That was the horror show.. as the one who also loved chicken feed, was MICE.  I HATED MICE.  Any of the neighbors would hear at 6am.. me kicking the barrel that the feed was in.. scaring out the mice. S0 they wouldn’t run up my arm to escape.

I learn how to plan a garden at a young age, as we had what was known as a Victory Garden..  that was gardens that people did during WWII… to feed our family..  and I believe you were suppose to share with your neighbor who could not do a garden.  I learn to make the line straight.. my mother made sure of that..  and to put seeds in every 3 inches..  to lightly put the dirt over it..   I learn I had to weed these garden, so the veggies grew.

I learn to keep my bedroom clean.. There was no throwing clothes across a chair, or on the floor.  Clothes were hung up or folded in our drawers.   We learn to put our toys away, or they would disappear.  All of these were learn from an early age..  5 and up.

Some time later before we became teens. We were given an allowance. .. We learn to save it for things we wanted.  As Mom and Dad did not buy everything we wanted.. only what we needed..   A trip to candy store the first week.. taught me that money disappears fast if you are foolish.   If I wanted a special blouse it was up to me.. to save for it.. So l learn to manage money.  And how to save for things. Mom and Dad only had one purchases monthly bill.  /that was our house… which Dad built.. but he did borrow from the bank to get the wood and nails and etc.   You want a car.. save up for it.  No charge accounts, not even at Sears and Roebucks..  there was lay a away… where you paid money monthly or weekly …depending on your pay period..  and when the item was paid for..  then you got to take it home.

So we learn money did not come easy.   Oh by the way.. the allowance?  It was for doing certain chores.. Dishes did not qualify.. anything that was helping the family directly.. no pay…  And if you did not do the chore… no allowance.  Did a few.. no allowance.. it was all or nothing. 

This went on to our teen years as well..  And we never charged for food.   At least my parents didn’t.  I know others that did, and they went to the store on pay day and paid the bill in full.    We learn there were no free rides.

We learn our word was like gold..  if you gave your word that you would do something.. YOU DID IT.. and it didn’t take long for the town to learn who did not.  A hand shake in those days was just as solid if not more so, than a contract today.  So you word was your bond, your work ethic was you got there on time, and you left at the end of the shift.. and it had to be major reason for not showing up for work.. and You called in way before starting time.

When I got my own family .. the rules were the same.  But I found out fast that allowance with big families, can be quite expensive, so I ended that..  But in places of that..  if we all got together and worked to get what had to be done..  then we would find money for the kids to go to shows.. Or other places..  But my kids were raised with coming home.. do homework FIRST… chores next.. and if the homework wasn’t all done after chores.. then they finished it after dinner.  There was no play time..  Unless homework and Your chores were done.  Same on weekends. Chores first.. then homework done..  ok .. now you can go to your friends house.  Or they could come over.  The family worked to gether.. chopping wood, stacking wood.. feeding the animals and what ever it took to live on that land.  We All worked..

My children’s generation..  wasn’t so strict as ours. And the next generation was even more leniet.. and it SHOWS…

Children of the last two generations would think it was slave labor it they had to do the same.   There is a difference you know..  Sadly the generation of now does not handle their money..  they go into debt beyond their means.  The King was told by a friend.. that the friend’s grandson was way over his head.. and he asked him..  what if you don’t make enough to pay for these toys.  Which the young man replied..  no problem.. Gramps..  I will just sell it for what I owe..  someone can take over the payments.. and then a year or so later, I will just go buy another one that is better..  Wow.. that is all I can..  must be nice to have that much faith..

Oh, yeah…  when I was young.. in my teens and 20’s.. it was normal.. for the oldest son to stay on the farm and help the parents until they died.  Daughter stayed near by.. to help the mom’s..   It just was the way it was..

Some of us wondered if those nationality plan it that way..  to have quite a few children  to help out on the farm..   Only the younger ones got to leave the area..  so the older ones knew what the deal was.. and some were honored to be the one who stayed with the parents.  so not so much..  The older ones escape by being drafted in the Army. Some came back.. some did not..  and the second on in line was the one who stayed with the folks 

Reading SPARE…

Reading SPARE… 

First I have to say… if you plan on reading the book by Harry called SPARE…  STOP now and go read it.. then come back and read this..  As I don’t want to sway your opinion one way or the other.  So to be fair..  read the book first. 

For those who don’t want to read it, or don’t want to spend the money on it..  (although it is reasonable priced) or if you have made up your mind of what YOU THINK IT IS..  then go ahead and read this…   if you don’t even want to give it a go, maybe after this.. you might.  Maybe… depending on how single minded you are.. 

Here goes.. I read the book… all the way thru..  And it was pretty much what I thought it was going to be about.. but WAY MORE SO…. I think what bothered me the most was the lack of compassion from his family.

The only ones I can think of … in American, that can compare to his story would be John F. Kennedy jr.. And we know what happen to him.

With his mother.. we saw how it could get..  and in the end, most blamed her.  The difference of her and Harry, is she did chose to join the Royal family..  But hers was of naive.

She knew she was going to be in the limelight.. as she got a taste of it before she married Charles..  It was naïve of her to think it was going to be less… or not more than the courtship.  Maybe figuring once she was married. It would let up. After all before she came along, there wasn’t much going on with Charles and the media. Yes, they trailed him in foreign countries and made fun of him playing polo.. but nothing like the future would bring Diane.  Even with the cuteness phone calls of toe tapping with each other… Camile and Charles was nothing like what went on with Diane… And if Diane thought it would be better if she left the royal family…. She was sadly mistaken. 

See, Charles and Camile were never the focus of the photographs like Diane was….  And then Harry.  The steps in front of them. With flashing of lights constantly going.  To walk down a street was impossible.  The jumping out of alley’s in front of them.. or hanging over walls of the fence around their houses..  the taking pictures thru their windows.   Charles never had that and doesn’t know.

Harry and his mother did. 

Harry and John Jr.  were quite the same..  flashing of cameras every step of the way..  the what makes them similar is… NEITHER one of them asked for this… BOTH were born into this mess of media.    Diane and Jackie knew some what was going to go on… but they too, did not have any idea of how bad it could be..  The four of them … to me got the worse of the lot of ALL royals.. and ALL Americans.  Yes, there are movie stars and musician’s and singers who get the treatment.. but not with such a rapped hounding that these 4 individual got.   Jackie did finally get a court order against a photographer that he had to stay so many feet or yards away from her..  It didn’t stop him, just slowed him down some. 

And that is what this book is about..  what it feels like to be hounded everywhere.. practically as far as in to bathrooms to get that great photo, that they can sell.  It is all about the money.. If no one bought those pictures it might be a different story.. But like vicious sharks.. surrounding them night and day… was their life.. And those born into it.. don’t get a fair chance.

So you think he brought it on his own…  and maybe you think that Diane brought it on her own…  Why do you think that? Is it because they finally got to the breaking point to start fighting back?  That was just what the leaches wanted.. a picture of fighting back. 

How much can you take of your privacy being ripped away from you..  To find your picture in the lastest rag, that you thought was private.  To be on yacht with a friends? To go out to dinner with a friend.. and what about the people you let in the circle.. only to have them sell you out with pictures of what you thought was a fun time together?

What about a friend, or a girlfiend.. boy friend … being hounded so badly even when they aren’t around you… what about your girlfriend, boyfriend .. family being hounded..and photograph over and over and over..  to walk out their front door.. to have the leaches there taking more pictures and yelling at you.? No wonder so many women turn Harry down .. because they couldn’t take the heat.

Even Megan being an actress was some what use to media over load..  was blown out of the water, of how much the over the top lack of privacy.  

While American  is far from innocent of tracking down stars of all kinds..  it doesn’t seem to be as horrible as England it..  And I am sure that is why Megan and Harry moved here.  

What was so totally more sad was the Royal family.. the lack of empathy and the lack of support.  Maybe because while the hounds were after Megan and Harry… they were leaving the rest of the Royals alone…  But in the book you will learn, that even the Royal family of 2022… meaning more with the Queen gone.. there is those who feed information to the press thru their own people.. to send the wolves away from them to Harry.. and NOW cry poor me, as the book came out.  Truth hurts.. and I do believe 99% of what Harry said in the book..    so after you read the book .. ask yourself.. if you were in his shoes…  what would you have done?   Yes, he rebelled as a teen and even in his lower 20… that is just that generation…  look our own American teens and etc..  naively believing things would change if you fight back. 

So Harry,  this old lady does believe you..  felt so bad for your mom, when you were growing up and the press following her so badly, that she stopped the car and told the reporters.. STOP, JUST STOP..  I HAVE MY CHILDREN IN THIS CAR..  I remember that.   

And Harry…  you might want to use my saying.. NOT MY RODEO.. AND NOT MY HORSE TO RIDE… meaning what happens at the palace in England is on them.. You no longer have to stand up for them..  because they did not stand up for you…   Hang on to your family tightly..  enjoy life with them..  and hopefully the American press will give you some breathing room.  But don’t hold your breathe.. they too, are asses. 

The rest of you…. I hope you gave the book the time it was intended.. for the reason it was intended..   Harry had hope you would understand what it was like to be in his shoes..  Sadly for someone who was born in it, and not asked for it.

At least Jackie and John Jr. are at peace..  Luckily Carolina escape most of it.

93 BILLIONS.. BILLIONS!!! DOLLARS !!

93 BILLIONS..  BILLIONS!!! DOLLARS !!

In the news we see on tv and read..   that the congress is having a problem once again with the budget..  talks of not agreeing and not passing anything..  But talks of shaving money off of the budget… in what department?   Well.. Of course it the usuals….Social Security and bills that take care of children and day care and groups … you know the usual..

So why not let’s cut budget programs..  my question is.. WHY is it NEVER EVER.. with Congress itself..  Never see anything about cutting their wages and God for bid cutting any of the benefits that they so richly have.

How about, no more automatic pay raises while they are on vacation?  And there is so many benefits the citizens don’t have a clue what they do get.. Let’s start there. 

While we are at it… did you know that Congress okayed a mere little bit of  93 BILION DOLLARS to last until 2025 for the  a trip to the Moon…  for some kind of a space station there..  so thy can live there a week at a time..  and the article said.. “HOW MUCH DOES THIS COST?” THE ANSWER WAS..  least $93 billion through 2025 which is more than  planned.    Now did I understand that right…  the part underlined and bold..  which is more than planned?   Is that the $93 billion is more than what they planned..    or is that meaning the time up there is more..  I don’t care actually I am still stuttering over the 93 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!!   They report it like it is nickels and dimes.

 93 BILLION!!!!    

Why not cut there, Congress???

 

MY SPACE….

MY SPACE….

 Always thought I was a good in crowds.. found out that isn’t true anymore..  Well, can’t say I was really good, but pretty fairly good.

But lately..  I have had two incident where I was not only uncomfortable.. but really uncomfortable.   

One was a man who brought his chair up behind mind..  It was a gathering for church in the summer.. We all bring our chairs and sit in the field… with the stage in iu /front of us.  It was a really hot day. The King and I were in what we thought was the last row under a tent area..  But a man came up and put his chair close to mine. So close that his knees were up against my chair back. I could feel them. And when we stood, I could feel him breathing on my hair. .. Creepy was what came to mind..  I am sure the man did not mean anything by it..  I finally stood at a break and moved my chair out in the sun and told the King was wanting to be warmer. 

Yesterday, I was at church and we sit in the chairs against the back wall.  Don’t know why but we just like it there…. When a woman came in front of me, and removed my papers in the seat next to me. She started to give them to the woman on the other side. When I reached and took them.. She gave me a funny look, but never said anything.  And then when we stood to sing.. my jacket pocket was on the other side of the arm, which I had not noticed before.  I reached down to remove it from there, and she glared at me.. I don’t know what I did, but anyway she moved to the front row of the church and found a friend there, as they hugged each other.  I don’t know why, but it unnerved me.. how close she was to me. I didn’t take the arm area (maybe that is why I didn’t notice my pocket was so close.. but she pushed her arm up against me …like she was claiming the arm area..  It made no difference to me.  I am not am arm person anyway.  But her glare  was rude, at first I thought it was me… until we were leaving and the King said to me..  Boy, that woman next to you, sure was rude.. even her looks were rude.  He asked me if I had said something to her.. told him, not a thing.   He said he thought it was weird. ..  he said what if you were saving the seat for someone??  She just walked in, took over.

Guess I am not a crowd person anymore.. lol..

Oh, I like sitting with my back to the wall.. Once in a great while some one will ask about that..  I tell them in my former life, I was a gun slinger and I don’t like to have anyone sneak up behind me.. lol.   I say it with a straight face..  until they look at me, quizzively.

Then I smile..  But I have gotten some funny looks..  I tell them but I don’t believe in reincarnation.. lol

When another day, isn’t just another day….

When another day, isn’t just another day….

Our weather has been full of doom and gloom.. Not that I am complaining.

Because if you see the news.. you know what I am talking about.  California, is floating away..  from a drought to water .. water… water.. every where. In the rivers, down the roads.. taking chunks out of roads.. and the Northern part is getting 3 feet of snow.. almost daily for a week.. That is in the mountainous area…but people live in those mountains..

Then you have the south..  which is getting tornados left and right.. thru the towns.. taking school, stores and homes with it them.  

SO.. NOPE, not complaining about our weather.. of fog and sprinkles and no sun..   I will take this any time..

But yesterday… I had sunshine in my day.  I went to the physical therapist, in the early hours.. and at 10m, I was picked up by my youngest.. Who lives local. She took me out to lunch..  and then we went to a couple of second hand stores.. just to see what we could see.  First one, I had not been to before. She bought something, but I did not. It was a nice enough store. And very reasonable prices..  Then off to the Goodwill and the Animal Shelter.. Now I am really trying to downsize my stuff.  So was pretty picky.    The only thing I bought for me.. was an angel.. She is for my yard art.. Last year I threw away a lot of my broken pieces..  So she will be a welcome sight in my memorial garden. 

The rest was toys.. for the great grandboys.. they will be surprised to see some of the news stuff..  I had down size their baby toys about 3 months ago. So they have ended up with cars and trucks.. and lego’s…   I got 3 bags of lego type and some Lincoln log type  for them to build stuff.. and a bag of all kinds of small match box type cars and trucks..  All of about $8 in total.  Even got some small puzzles for them.. 30 piece and 40 piece..  So that should entertain them.

But what made the day a great day, was just hanging out with my kid..  My adult kid…  my baby of the family..  just a nice quiet lunch.. and going to different places..  My legs didn’t do so well, but made it thru the day… We can’t wait for summer time where we can be outside..  a nice cup of coffee, the view at the beach or where ever..  As we go thru life…  it gets busy.. so it is nice to take a day.. time out and enjoy each other

THE JUDGES….

THE JUDGES….

Who are they..  they are we..  all of us..  yes, me included.   We judge ourselves. Some times badly…  kind of our own worse judge of all.

Why do we think from the age of 2 to 70’s.. and some beyond.. that others are ok to judge us.. That we live our lives according to how society, our friends, and family see us and think of us.. Don’t we have a mind of our own. 

And while we are at it.. how about our own judgmental selves.. Judging how others in social should be..  measure up.. judge what they should be doing               TO YOU..  How dare we….  Even those of us who hate to be judge.. find ourselves judging others..   That is one I am working on..  Have for a couple                                               years…    using my go to saying.. NOT MY RODEO AND NOT MY HORSE TO RIDE..  Which I have changed to.. NOT MY RODEO AND  I AM TOO OLD TO RIDE THAT HORSE…   All cutey sayings.. but it is hard, to change a life time of thoughts..   But I am working on it and have gain some ground.

There are those who judge people.. not only by size, or color (which can’t be changed.. it is the luck of the draw of who your parents are)…  When I see some judge the gays…  or transgender and etc..   I ask them.. how many gays have asked you to join their team?  Meaning have they tried to turn you gay,to change your mind set of what gender you want to be..   I have never been asked to be gay.. or join in gay sex…  Maybe I have a put off aura.   But also those who do express negative  attitude towards them..   when I asked them that question.. their answer is…  well, no.. but..   I tell them.. no but about it.. They haven’t asked you to join them.   I get that some are a little over bearing… as there is most of those who are put down get to be.    But for the every day deal..  just let them be…  99.9% just want what you and I want..  a home to live in, food to eat, a car to get from place to place and a job to be able to afford those and a few extras..   Hey, kind of sounds like us..  So let them be..  Oh, yea.. sometimes this is hard because..SOME OF THEM JUDGE us as well. 

Then there is the body shamers..  Why do we feel it is up to us to decide what size they are.. if the color of their hair is not what WE THINK IT SHOULD be?  The clothes they wear..   do we want someone coming to our house and when we get dress.. tell us to go back and change our clothes to what THEY think we should wear?   And colors of clothes..  why is it some flinch when they see reds with pinks..  or any other clothes. I remember in the 1950’s  people would be horrified with red and pink or green and blue together. Now it is accepted… and more..    but we are quick to question others dress styles. What size should not wear what color or that style.

We judge who should be with others..  Gasping because a 5’7” guy is with a 6 foot gal?  

Yes, we are one judgmental society.. and I am sure there are other countries that are just as bad.. so it is the human race, not the nation.

Where did we ever learn that it is ok to be judging others by our own likes and dislikes?   And this is just the tip of the iceberg of what we judge others on.

But I am working on mine…   reminding myself..  not my rodeo.. not my horse to ride..   Different strokes for different folks.

HELP, I AM DROWNING PAPER WORK...

 I tried to stop and do my blog for this morning.. but I am in overload.. 

The end of the table that I use for my office, is almost a foot high in papers and other stuff to deal 

with...  Which sends me back about 20 years ago..   

I was visiting my Aunt.. and as we sat down the next morning.. she was piling up papers to 3 piles..   And this was after one of her daughters visited 2 weeks before... and had it cleared..   I felt bad for her... and offered to at least take out the junk mail out of the piles.. As I knew her other daughter was coming in 5 days.. with her husband.. to help her out. She had said, it just keeps coming.. and I try to keep up with it..  I do take care of the bills right away, but there is other stuff I have to do something about.  So I pile it for later..

So here I am about 20 years later.. and I see the problem..  and trying to keep up with it..   Like her, I take care of the bills the same day and mail out the payments the next morning..  That I can handle. And do. Most of the time, I can throw stuff.. but once in a while.. with other chores thrown in... it gets deep.

But there is paper work from the  health insurance company, there is paper work from car insurance and several other things I need to read before I toss..  

How about you.. are you over run with paper work?   And no I don't want to put it on the computer.. besides that is the same thing.. having to read it before I decide if it is save worthy

Growing up with Mom and Bucky

Growing up with Mom and Bucky

Bucky was my pony of the 1950’s,  His show name (even tho he only went one time) was Mighty Mouse because he was mouse grey with a black stripe from his ears down the middle of his back to his tail. But we called him Bucky for a good reason.

 

The first cartoon illustrates it pretty well of how it went.

I came across these cartoons of a girl and her pony Lucy and jumping.  They brought back memories.. not sure if you call them fond ones.

Bucky and I were told by my mother, that we had a mission.. to be coming champion jumping duo at the horse show.  So we were sent out to practice, practice… practice.  Jumping over jumps TOGETHER. The together part was a debatable as it was a 50/50 deal. Me, being the over the jump part 50%  and the not over 99% of the time was Bucky, who was not into this so much.

One time after watching from the house.. my mother stomped outside into the ring.  Signally me to come ASAP!! Meaning NOW!!  She has me get off and then she got on. Off at a full gallop, and at the top of the ring, they came down towards the two jumps at a dead run.  AND THEN..Bucky put on his brakes and Mom went flying and cussing  It was so bad, that Bucky got spooked and dragged Mom back across the jump and across the ring….  I had to give her 10 points for hanging on to the reins. (letting go of reins in her book was a major sin, that I broke a couple of times.. and learn quickly..NEVER EVER LET GO OF THE REINS)… AND she did it well.  He stopped beside me.  She stood up and was spitting out dirt… got back on… and back to the top of the ring. Around the corner they went..down to the jump…with Mom yelling at him. And Bucky putting on the brakes once again.. with Mom on his neck and then the ground.  After two more times repeats, she comes back to me..  tells me to get on and go jump the jump. Now I am not a fool but I am caught between a very pissed off mother and bull headed pony.  Neither one of us is  in to this… but off to a full canter, like at a race track.. who do we see coming across the ring with a whip in hand… yep, Mom    She is going to get this pony and her kid to jump that jump even if it kills one of us.

As we approach the jump.. I hear a snap of the whip.. this time Bucky figured it was in his best interest to jump the jump and he did. And because I was snuggled in his neck.. I went with him.. not the most graceful jump .. but we made it.  We had to go over the second jump.  Then Mom was satisfied that she had won…and went back in the house.

Each time we went out to practice jumping, Mom raised the bar from 2 feet to 3.6… meaning 3 feet 6inches..  We were so sloppy at it.. (really we did try hard to do it right..) no wrath like my mother’s. Anyway.. she gave up.. I think it was because she didn’t want us in a show ring and embarrass her in front of all her horse buddies.. that this disgrace of horsemanship was related to her.

Bucky and I were very happy.. and went back to our rides thru the tree nursery.  Where we would stop by the canel..  I would lay on my back in the grass ..looking at clouds in the sky and Bucky got to eat grass. 

 

Ok, so this is the beginning of the rest of the year.

Ok, so this is the beginning of the rest of the year.

Seems that yesterday, was still a New Years day off.. so no post office/mail.. a lot of business were closed.. and no school.

Wonder how many parents took their kids to school or waited for the bus to come.. only to find out it was still a holiday.

So here we go folks..  January 3 .. the beginning for the rest of the year..  back to business.. and schools and all that.   But I really like to start a new trend..

HOW ABOUT… 2023 THE YEAR OF KINDNESS..

Yep, I think I will start promoting that..  I mean there is some girls who started with t shirts a couple years ago.. 2020 I think.. I bought one..  Then a friend started ARK   Acts of  Randon Kindness…   I bought that shirt too.. 

So why not do a WHOE YEAR!!

ARE YOU IN WITH ME..  coming on, pass the word..

 

2023 the YEAR of KINDNESS

 

 

 

2023

So here we are..  a new Year…

As we use to say in the past..  another year for us to screw up…  And that surely is true of the world..  this goes past the nation..  as there is such stuff going on all over. 

Sadly the media shows us the dirt, the nasty of the things that happen to places and people..

Thankfully, there is a lot of good that comes out of all of us at one time or another. Some more than others.  And sadly they rarely made the news..

So let us all.........  ALL....... do the drop in the bucket that provides ripple in the water… KINDNESS…  even if the person you are facing isn’t the kindness…  who knows how their day started or even week.   Take the high road..  be KIND..  do it for yourself as well, as you will find out, that YOU feel better.  It doesn’t matter if they are receptive ..  what matters is YOUR character.. the goodness of YOU.