Funerals and Elf on a shelf…..

Funerals and Elf on a shelf…..

Funerals of late have been overrated.  And there are some who are still going well.

But we all have heard the saying.. that funerals are for the living.. and that is true even more today..  Because if you are saying.. you are going out of respect for the one who died… well,  hate to tell you….  the deceased is not a elf on the shelf of the cloud, looking down at their funeral and say..   Well, there is Joe, he sure looks good.  I am glad he showed up..  and there is Mary, she was an old rip, but had a good heart.. nice of her to show up..  And there is Harry, with his can of beer, Hi, Harry.. have one for me..   Hey Frank.. your next..

Nope, you are going to show the kids or spouse that the person who passed meant something to you…  Some times they ask for funny stories..  And there are those who will stand up and say something..  Some won’t..  at the gathering after… when my second husband passed..  I had a few of his buddies, who wanted to stand up and talk but didn’t think it would be good.. the stories they could tell.. and then we would laugh over some of them..   I told them I thought hunting stories would have a lapse of convictions with the passing.. And they said, but mine hasn’t.. lol.. 

Some don’t want a celebration..  and that is sad.. as some people who were friends or even distance relatives.. want to talk to others of the deceased.  And then there is others..   They just want the family to move on and told them before they passed that is their wishes.. 

And we are adding more....

 If you ever read the heading on my blog and pay attention to what it says..  you will notice a change from the last time..    Just a small change for a big change in life..   WE HAVE A NEW addition to our family.. 

we are now up to 35 GREAT GRANDCHILDREN...  AND we still have one more coming that we are aware of...  

While we all celebrate...  I think we older ones wonder silently..  what kind of world are we leaving for this new life on earth?   We pray that the little person, gets to live a great loving life.. And thru all the knowledge .. they too can make a difference in life for many..  While my own .. making a difference is really small..  I have some who have said I have..  and that humbles me.   I try my best to live for TRUTH, COMPASSION for others... FOR HONESTY.... AND TO DO NO HARM.   Hopefully this new addition of ours can do the same.. along with her other 34 second cousins. 

The days are cooling… and much work to do

The days are cooling…  and much work to do

As the weather starts to cool off..  it is a reminder that fall and winter is coming.  Which for me that means more yard work..  Clean up for the last time.. put all  the yard art away..  Some of which is showing its age. 

So will be taking a tote AND the garbage can with me..  as I go around the yard..  As I get older, the less I get in to getting out stuff.. and looking at it and seeing how bad it is.

My memorial garden definably needs to be downsized.   With the cutting in half a tree we have there, and using what is left for hanging things..  I know it is a matter of time before the tree is going to die.  I told the King last year, to cut it down.. Instead he cut it in half.  He said.. well, there were leaves there.. So I saved it for you..   If you have seen my yard pictures in the Spring, You saw the half tree..  It has its trunk, and off to the right is one arm reaching for the sky..  It is pathetic.  Yet I used it for hanging different chimes and hanging yard art..   (I have no shame.. lol) .  it was so bad at the end.. I felt like it was Christmas time and I was throwing tinsel… lol..  So this year.. in the next month..  garbage can will be placed at the end of the tree.. and it will be half full.   I think I will fill up a tote of yard art and let some one else have fun with it. 

It would be nice to next year..  only have one days worth of yard art to put out.. and I think I will go solar lights instead..  But I know there will still be a few old ones.. that I will probably keep.. the ugly birds..  one of them is a sitting gangly flamingo.. he is kind of a favorite..  lol.   

 

 

I didn’t measure up….

I didn’t measure up….

Over the years there has been times when my children and I were  at odds.  As a parent some of your kids get mad at you. At 4, they will tell you.. I DON’T LIKE YOU..  Usually after not getting their way. My standard reply was.. “That’s too bad as I love YOU.. “

As teens.. again after not getting their way--------I HATE YOU. ..

Again standard reply ..” I am sorry but I love you”..  both times, they got over it.

As a adult.. not so much. Some times they walk off and you don’t know why?  Some times you have reason for a discussing.. BUT they don’t want to hear about nor talk about it, to compromise. Those can last up to 20 years, (was for one of mine).  Luckily we did make it aback together .. before she had a major heart attack and passed away. But we both MISSED so much.

If you are lucky, you can decide just not to talk about a subject.. Politics is a big one…  If you are lucky, you find out the reason.. Some of which you hope, you don’t mess up because you don’t know the reason.

And some times…. It just can’t be fixed.

A lot of it is that you just didn’t measure up to what THEY thought you should have been or done..  It isn’t until your grandchildren get to be teens and 20’s .. before you MIGHT get a apology from your child…. When they find out THEY did not measure up to their child..

All through these times, I still LOVED and do LOVE my kid.  I just don’t like their choices. Maybe, not even like them because of it. There is a difference.. But I still love my kid.. Wish them good health.. and happiness.  Some times it is never solved and you come to terms with it.

It saddens you, but you wish them well… and you are glad to not have the drama in your life.

The greatest sadness is when your child refuses their children, visits and contacting.  No connection at all. You and the grandkid got along great… but your child want to punish you.

There nothing you can do about it. So you accept it and live with it.. NOT EASY… heart breaking…  Thankfully most unions are great.. Count your lucky starts if your kids stay close.. and you get to watch and enjoy and even help raise the grandkids.. I am lucky.. I measured up for 6 of my 8. Not the best odds, but not bad either.

Respect… giving as well as taking

Respect…  giving as well as taking

Why does the human race think their opinion is the only one, to be honored. Every one has an opinion.  A good share of them. have no tolerance for those opinions of others..   be it of the same mind or not.. Especially if not.

For the past 20 years this has been raging..  And even more in the past 8.

Some out shout others to get their opinion hear and then will not listen to the other opinion.   They want respect for their opinion, yet roll their eyes and again try to out shout the others.

And some don’t care what you think.. they do not think about how the other side might have  a reason for this … The latest is the man who is running for Vice President on the Republican side.  His snide remarks about woman who do not have children.. and adding to the snide remark was how they grow old and become cat ladies..   a woman who does not produce children is a worthless human being. 

There are many reason’s why woman don’t have children.  No patience, Do want to have a career, just the same as a man..   You do know, we women do have rights to pick out what kind of life we want..  just as men have.. But even more hurtful of his remark… and he has no qualms about it…   Some women CAN NOT HAVE CHILDREN!!   Not every woman can have children..  So what is his answer to that..  Oh, I bet..   adoption.  Wonder if that is ok with him. Or will he downgrade the woman who put the child up for adoption     ADOPTION is a wonderful thing for those who can’t and yet want a family.  So step up to the plate to raise another person’s child for what ever reason.. Hopefully with love.

As much as it upset me at first when he stated such an opinion… I had to remind myself,  he is entitled to his opinion and to run his life as he so desires. And if he finds a woman who believes the same..  then so be it. It is their opinion.. But to make pubic remarks about other women.. To down grade them.. is irresponsible. And disrespectful. 

I look back at my life..  being born in the 1940’s where women were thought to only have the mentality to be a mother, and wife.. Nothing else.  Yet when World War II came along.. who did the factories hire?  SURPRISE a lesser mentality  woman..  Who would figure that Rosie Riveter would do such a great job..  But then it was back home.. when the men return. 

Then as it hit the teens and 20’s .. Women started to feel that there were more to life than cleaning house.   Some of them can run a company. Can weld… can be mechanic’s..  To start a new company that wasn’t thought about by a man.   Women were coming into their own..  And those who were dumped so quickly when there was responsibility to be had in the family… that men decided THEY wanted more than raising a family and LEFT.  The women pulled up their big girl pants.. They found job.. Some of them, thoughtless jobs as waitresses, bartender, nurses aides…  the low side of the income..  Some got two jobs to raise their children.. AND THEY DID WELL. And then some of them .. while working.. raising their children.. went back to school to get a better education..    There were women who fought for others to get better pay.  To get promotions, that only men were entitled to.

As the saying went…WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY, BABY…

Some where along about 8 years ago.. women have recessed… Not staying with the program they thought they wanted.   Some even sold out to men.. Yet some of those men wanted her to work to bring in money for the family.. so he could get a better education.. How many women was the main support for men who were going to college to become lawyers, or doctors..  and then to be dumped when he got the degree.   80% of them.

So if you want to buy into Mr. Vance way of life..  so be it..  go for it.. But respect the rest of us who DO NO BUY  into that kind of life.  If that is for you..   we respect you enough to not tell you are wrong..  and we will not diss you for choosing that way.  So be respectful of those of us…who want more.

 

  Betty Friedan. and her group must be rolling in their graves with anger..

 

 

Walking thru the woods..

Walking thru the woods..

As a kid, I lived in R.I.  not much for woods for hiking and exploring as Idaho is.. but explored we did..   There was a park at the end of the street  where I lived.. We were all over that place.. And some of it was funny. As I took my teen age kids there when we return for 4 years.. I took them to the park so they could see where my friends and I went to play.  And I showed them the “cave” we would hide in..  Well that CAVE was about 18 inches deep..  What a wild imagination  we had… lol..

At the age of about 24, my husband I left San Diego California and moved to his home town of Kelso, Washington.  LOTS OF WOODS..  Most of it in the area was owned by Weyerhaeuser Lumber.  But the kids and I walked thru the woods.. In fact one of the areas was up on the mountain by Mt. St. Helen’s. And we came across a man called Truman..  who later it was reported he died in the blowing of Mr. St. Helen..   No one had a problem about the kids and I exploring the woods..  Men hunted in it all the time. 

Later we moved to Cle Elum, Washington.. and behind us was the WOODS.. and we explored and also would go get our Christmas tree each year… IN THE WOODS.. Same thing in Ellensburg, Washington. Cooke Canyon area.. we would drive up so the kids could see the different animals..  my husband would whistle and the bird would puff out their chest. The kids loved it.. We would come across broken down cabins.. and rail fencing for animals and etc.. abandon.

Next up is Idaho.. We moved to Priest River and its out reach areas, which was surrounded with WOODS..   My husband and his friends and later our son’s would go to the WOODS to hunt.  One area was just a half a mile down the road.   Later those area’s were sold to people who built houses..  So no more hunting.. 

Recently, a friend who was hiking in the woods with her child..  came across a OLD house..  with no glass in the windows.. and it was empty,  the house was in disarray.. So I went on Facebook to ask if anyone knew the history of the house. It look like it was built around the 60’s or 70’s.. during hippie times..  Where a lot of hippies would head to the woods and build a place..   Some times they bought the land .. some times not.   It just was the way it was in those days. No harm done.. 

Yes, we all know that ALL LAND IS OWNED.. Some by the Federal government.. some by the state.. some by long time gone residents and abandon.  Some look at from time to time by the owners..  sometimes years.   But no one makes a big deal of people hiking thru it.  99% of those are respectful of the property..   Some take the down trees that are rotting and use it for their homes to keep it warm.   No one complains.. 

AT LEAST THEY DIDN’T USE TO…

On face book there was a picture put up of what I call the hippie looking house..  and I asked if anyone had any idea of the history.  Now the pictures show no damage done.  Just looking and taking pictures..  And no it was not me.. it is not important who…  There was a very few who know anything about it.  One lady who has a great deal of knowledge about the area, did answer and gave us the run down. Artist built it in the 60 and left.. came back in the 70’s and never came back.   They also reported that some one bought the land that the house sits over a creek …  And then the naysayers came in.. with staying off others property..  and how when it was explain that the people who saw it and took the pictures did not disturb anything and treated with respect…  as they left..   Which some one made a snide remark about “”how saying treating it with respect” was how they justified going on to someone else’s property..  Well, the creek is consider EVERYONE’S LAND.. so they were not trespassing. 

It just got to me.. how nasty and territorial  those who did not own the land got..   As far as I am concerned… if you are that way.. then maybe.. you should but up a fence around YOUR WOODS.. 

God I am glad I grew up when I did.. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’M SORRY.. I AM WORKING ON IT..

I’M  SORRY..  I  AM WORKING ON IT..

If I raised my voice at you.. in a discussion… I am sorry..  See I can’t fix you or change you.. And it isn’t my job to do that..

BUT it is my job to fix me.. To change how I REACT.. That isn’t on you. It is on me.  I find sometimes that people push my buttons.  I thought I had a handle on that..  I thought I finally figured out..  It isn’t that important.  But I have found in the past year or two, my frustration is raising my voice.  My frustration has lowering my tolerant bar a great deal.

And that is not on you..  IT IS …ON ME.. And I need for me..  to figure out how to tune it back out again..   I had the pick my battles system.  If it wasn’t important enough.   If it did me no harm..  then I would let it go..  Giving them the .. WELL, YOU ARE THE WINNER..  kind of like that song of the 80’s.   my standard was.. ok..  lol..  just agree with anything..  Not exactly telling them. they are right.. 

Of late that isn’t working…  these are troubling times..   And now that it has dawn on me, once again..  I DON’T NEED TO ARGUE..  Let them have their say..  and surely they don’t think I HAVE to agree with them..

Sure saves a lot of heartache not to argue..  and 99% isn’t worth it..

And I am not mad at those who push my buttons.. I am upset with me.. for letting them push them..   I know better.   I working on fixing me.

 

 

Who buys Zucchini anyway.?

Who buys Zucchini anyway.?

I GUESS I DO..…

I was innocently walking on the to ball field that our church uses for their Sunday services in the summer.   When I was asked.. How about you baking some goods for our bake sale on next Saturday..   I told them I wasn’t good at that anymore..  Besides I can’t get the ingredients for the cookies that I make… can only get them in the winter.. Well, surely you bake other things… they replied..  Well, I do make a choc. Zucchini bread but don’t do that much anymore. OH, THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT.. HERE SIGN UP HERE..  WHAT? DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME SAY.. I DON’T DO THAT SO WELL ANYMORE?  OH, YOU WILL BE FINE..COME ON WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET..  SO I signed my name..  some where inside was a voice saying fool  fool..   But there I was.. 

Two days after, I go out to the freezer to get a couple packages of shredded zucchini’s  I always make up each summer..  many containers of 2 cups of shredded zucchini…  WELL,  I GUESS I DIDN’T LAST YEAR!!   THE WHOLE FREEER HAD NONE!!!  I  went thru the whole dang freezer.. NOT EVEN ONE..  So that meant……………….I HAD TO BUY ZUCCHINI… WHO THE HELL BUYS ZUCCHINI’S.???? You know how it goes.. You leave your car unlocked or window down..  and your so call friends..  put them in your car when you are not around..  OR you come back from town and there is 12 zucchini’s on your porch..   NO ONE BUYS ZUCCHINI…    BUT I had to….   8 medium (small by most standards) zucchini so I could shred 6 cups of shredded zucchini!!!!!

The next day I cooked up 12 small loaves and 12 muffin style..  CHOC. BLUEBERRY ZUCCHINI BREAD.. And delivered them to the church this afternoon..   You want some?  Go to the park in the middle of Sandpoint and buy one or two..  I even made some small muffins for tasting to make sure they tasted ok..