NEVER HAVE I FELT SO OLD…

NEVER HAVE I FELT SO OLD…. 

This inter changing with the insurance company has finally brought  me down.  I give up..  And when my son offered to take it over… I came to tears.  He has dealt with insurance companies off and on as he has a hobby of fixing up wrecked cars..   So he knows what to look for,  what to ask. And what is right and wrong.. To walk the road of insurance dealings.

I love my kids, really do, always have.. Proud of each one of them.  They are all individuals, none the same..   And I knew they loved me.   I have try to be a good mom… stay out of their business.. not to put any strain on them..  They have lived their lives as they want.. and that is what I have wanted for them.. I had hope that I taught them years ago, to be strong.. and take good care of business.  And they have done so.  They have done me proud.  I am closer to 5 of them.

The King and I visit the 4 out of state ones every so often.. But life gets in the way from time to time..  They have visited over the years.  We have one of them that lives local.. we are more involved with that family, but we love them all equally..  We have celebrated  and mourn together… The King talks to the boys often..  some a couple times a week.. or a month or so goes by with some.  One works  near us from time to time.. so he gets to run over and see us….WE ARE FAMILY…

One of the things I have tried hard to do is take care of my own business.  The King and mine.  And we have done a pretty good job of it.  I, personally have always felt I was pretty much self efficient, that I was the leader of the two of us, for like most wives.. we take care of the book work, the paper work, we make sure that everything runs smoothly..  The King makes sure the house, vehicles runs smooth and is the protector.  

But that all changed when the truck accident happen.  We were fish out of water..  the electronic world open up and swallowed us.. we were definitely over our heads.  And it seems to get worse as we went on.  That is when our son stepped up and said he would take over.   But I feel so old… so lost in what I thought I was strong in. A feeling of useless..  And it is hard to accept help when you have been in control for so many years..  Been the helper, both of us… so it is hard to say .. yes, help us.

So I FEEL OLD…  I have never hid my age of 84.. actually kind of proud of it, as it is older than most of my family has gotten..  As I use to say, “not bad for an old broad”… But not so brazen now.. 

I know this too shall pass.. and I will survive..  we, the King and I will survive. But God it is good, to have God and our kids in our corner.