Judge not the tortured soul

Once again, shots have rang out in the little town

of Sandpoint.  Shots by a police officer. 

Then will come the judges.. not the ones in black robes,

but the ones who sit in a coffee shop, get on social

media and sit in the bars.   They will judge the young man

who lost his life.. They will judge the police officer... all with

no facts .. only rumors that fly thru the town and over the

social media.

But who is anyone to judge?  They were not there. They

did not see the tortured soul of a young man. A young man

who has had trouble with life for many years.  The family

who, God forbid, I hope did not watch it happen.  With

the exception of a brother. The parents who have watched

their son be tore apart by demons of life.

And the police officer, who had to make a decision to reach

for that gun.  To make a quick instant judgment, that will

haunt him for the rest of his life.  Do you seriously think

he went home that night, and hugged his family, and said

sadly, I had to take a life today, but that is part of my job?

No, he went home, broken.. knowing he had to make a

decision so quickly... and will second guess himself for

the rest of his life.  He will go over and over it with the

authorities as they try to find out what exactly happen.

But he will go over it ... and over it.. the rest of his life,

trying to second guess, was there another alternative?

Was there another way, he could have changed the

outcome? Could he have said something different?

No matter what the reports that come out of all this at

the end of the day.... He will always have second

thoughts.

The bad part of this ....is the people who will second

guess what they think, they understand.. some with

a tiny bit of facts.. some will twist those facts, to their

own agenda. And don't think of the fall out of it all,

on the families who are involved.  The police officer's

family who will be called out because of their father, or

husband...  Some will rather believe the rumors, than

deal with the facts.  Some will over look the bare truth

of a tortured soul.

Instead of calling out, the situation itself, we need to

look into what lead up to the situation.  We have to be

as a human race, be accountable to the torture soul

of the times.  This young man isn't the first and sadly

won't be the last.

May the two families, find some way to find peace in

their lives.  And hopefully the town will support that

peace. 

Mental awareness

Mental awareness, with Robin Williams

death, people were woken up to it even more...

Mental awareness.... to use a term for gathering all types..

varies in such a wide scope.  There is the little, fairly

easy to deal with insecurities.  Just knowing what it is.. knowing how to get around it.  This is the minority of mental problems. but then again, maybe because it is easier to deal with, no one talks about it, so very few know about it. But could be more wide spread then one would think.

 I have talked about my own, which is so small....small enough to be able to deal with it. At least 90% of the time. I usually know what it is, talk myself out what it is.. and how to deal with it. 

It is an anxiety type.  It is where I think it is a great idea to go

do something ..be it in town or out of town.. but when the actual day comes.. I have this extreme dread. Most of the time I can talk myself into going..  But the further it is away from Idaho the worse the dread is.. and I just can't do it.. It cost me a trip to see my brother before he passed away in July. Even though we had talked about how we would not make the trip across country for each other's funeral or too see each other on a death bed.. it still ate at me. But not enough to get over the dread every time I thought about going to see him before he got so bad. 

I don't know what I dread. It isn't because I think I will have

an accident. It isn't because I fear a vehicle break down.

I don't know.. I can't explain it.. it reminds me of when we

had a horse years ago, that would dive for the barn when

we were exercising him.. a barn rat of sorts. But I can't

explain it.  I have two sister in laws who are close to the same and one brother in law.. Also my mother was like that as well. 

Mine is such a small thing from those who have great fears.

Those who have great depression.. There is the ones that

require help. Therapies. Some times they work, some times

they don't.  Some work for a while, some people end up going to therapist for their whole life. And some sadly commit suicide.

A lot of people don't understand... they figured you just deal

with it and get over yourself... but it isn't that easy. And

there is really no way someone who suffers so much can

describe how they feel.. or what starts it.. and it takes a

strong support group.. be it professional or family. And

even then they some times lose the battle.

I don't have the answers.. I don't think any one does.