Mental awareness

Mental awareness, with Robin Williams

death, people were woken up to it even more...

Mental awareness.... to use a term for gathering all types..

varies in such a wide scope.  There is the little, fairly

easy to deal with insecurities.  Just knowing what it is.. knowing how to get around it.  This is the minority of mental problems. but then again, maybe because it is easier to deal with, no one talks about it, so very few know about it. But could be more wide spread then one would think.

 I have talked about my own, which is so small....small enough to be able to deal with it. At least 90% of the time. I usually know what it is, talk myself out what it is.. and how to deal with it. 

It is an anxiety type.  It is where I think it is a great idea to go

do something ..be it in town or out of town.. but when the actual day comes.. I have this extreme dread. Most of the time I can talk myself into going..  But the further it is away from Idaho the worse the dread is.. and I just can't do it.. It cost me a trip to see my brother before he passed away in July. Even though we had talked about how we would not make the trip across country for each other's funeral or too see each other on a death bed.. it still ate at me. But not enough to get over the dread every time I thought about going to see him before he got so bad. 

I don't know what I dread. It isn't because I think I will have

an accident. It isn't because I fear a vehicle break down.

I don't know.. I can't explain it.. it reminds me of when we

had a horse years ago, that would dive for the barn when

we were exercising him.. a barn rat of sorts. But I can't

explain it.  I have two sister in laws who are close to the same and one brother in law.. Also my mother was like that as well. 

Mine is such a small thing from those who have great fears.

Those who have great depression.. There is the ones that

require help. Therapies. Some times they work, some times

they don't.  Some work for a while, some people end up going to therapist for their whole life. And some sadly commit suicide.

A lot of people don't understand... they figured you just deal

with it and get over yourself... but it isn't that easy. And

there is really no way someone who suffers so much can

describe how they feel.. or what starts it.. and it takes a

strong support group.. be it professional or family. And

even then they some times lose the battle.

I don't have the answers.. I don't think any one does.