If your heart is not into it...don't do it...

If your heart is not into it.. don’t do it..

I am not a good Christmas person.. never really have been. The best I was.. and that wasn’t really good, was when my kids were growing..  To me Christmas belongs to kids. 

And this year seems to be worse… for some reason. We did lose our son in law in September.. but we have lost others in the past 4 years, one each year..  One in May, one in August , and one in December…  which that one .. you would think would have effect Christmas more.  I don’t know what it is, or why.

By this time, of the year.. I would have all kinds of goodies made up for baskets that we give away for gifts for Christmas.  No baskets this year…  no candy or jam, or cookies are made.. Did get the Choc. Zucchini bread made. That is it..  But I did attempt to make one of the cookies last Thursday night.  It was a disaster. 

One of my favorite Christmas cookies is the Christmas fruitcake cookie.. And no, it does not taste like fruitcake. For those who don’t like fruitcake..  The only similarity is, they both have dried fruit in them.

I decided to make 3 batches.. So made the 3 batches putting them in different bowls…  The first one went ok.. the second one, I put the flour in after all the other ingredients were put in and beaten well.  After I put the flour in, I started the beaters going.. ...  the beaters for some reason, decided to just barely move even though I had them on the second mark… which normally would be a slow regular flow to it.   So I added the rest and step it up to the next notch.. and that is when all hell broke loose.. Because that is when the motor decided to go into full semi half beat.. throwing (yes, you should be able to kind of visualize this) flour all over the place… I mean IT WAS FLYING ALL OVER THE PLACE…  on the floor, up on the cupboard, all over the counter, in the sink, up on the window sill, and down the front of the cabinet.  Oh, yea.. AND all over me… my shirt looked like it had been blasted, and all over my pants.  My glasses.

I was able to get to the knob to turn it off… but I had a hell of a mess to clean up.  And had to estimate how much flour I lost in the explosion.

After I got back on track… and then got the 3^rd batch done.. I took a time out.. So I had 3 bowls with a batch each.  I went out to the hot tub with the King…. After all, I had to take off the flour clothes.  And wanted a fresh start to start making cookies. 

Came back to it.. got the pans ready.. recipe says a LIGHT GREASING..  So I sprayed Pam lightly.. and had 4 pans to go… Started cooking… first one looks done.. so switched for the second pan…. I let the first one cool a little.. then started to take them off to put on the cooling rack.  Well, first off, they look like they might be a little raw in the middle… so decide to give them 5 more minutes..   Well, I don’t want to drag this out.. the down load is.. all 4 pans.. after 20 minutes.. (suppose to be 12 to 14 ) look like they are done.. BUT also cemented to the damn pans..  Never had this trouble before.   After sand blasting the cookies off the pans.. I sprayed the hell out of the pans and did another 4… Slightly better, but not really… and by now.. my patience is going out the door. So decided the rest of the batches (1 and half of them) is going to be cookie…BARS… Took the batter and spread it over the heavy flour type Pam. …and cooked for 35 minutes..   Came out looking the right color..

I took the large drying rack and placed it over the pan, so I could flip it, out.. after all it is heavy greased..  It did release, but.. it is like raw on the bottom.. even tho the top is cooked.

What to do.. decided.. to put rack and bars back into the pan, I couldn’t  flip it.. nor slide it… as it would have broke up.

So back into the oven for another 10 minutes…  As I am standing there watching.. I see on the counter a bottle. The bottle is rum.. was going to add it to one of the batches.. as there was only about half a cup of rum left in the bottle and figured it would add flavor, and not be enough for getting drunk when eating the bars.   As the bars were cooking I was thinking.. after all this … cemented cookies on pan, flour flying everywhere.. it is 11pm… I should have just drank the rum…   After 15 minutes of cooking, the bottom did cook. Took it out… put the other large drying rack on top and flipped it.  Let it cool..   cut and went to bed.. 

I am so done with Christmas.. BAH HUMBUG.. hell with cookies, and the rest..