Mom, I am so sorry.. really I
am…
These are the words that
we hear from our adult daughter who has just entered the tunnel of having her
daughter become a teenager. And that
sweet teenager has become a grandmother’s revenge on said adult child.
Some words of wisdom, she
is asking you. Oh, I wish there was a
handbook on raising a teen, especially a girl teen. See I always said I rather raise 5 sons than
one daughter. Sons can be asses… but daughter.. OH GOD.. the hormones rages,
the slamming of doors, the OH, MOM.. is
just the light side of it all.
She, that teenage
daughter of sweetness, becomes an unknown human, that was bottled up in a sweet
little girl growing up. That sweet
child.. will push your buttons, she will not only push them, she will play it
like a wild organ, IN FACT, she will
push buttons that you didn’t even know you had. Your emotions and sanity, will
be flinging like a racket ball on the walls of a racket court.
There are some good
parenting classes out there, that may come in handy. It isn’t that they give you all the answers,
as there isn’t the perfect answers. But
they can teach you self control.
They teach you to keep
calm on the outside, while you are a raving manic on the inside. You don’t fly off the handle, screaming ….ARE
YOU OUT OF YOU F-ING MIND? WHY IN HELL
DID YOU DO THAT? WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU
THINKING OF? No, they teach you how to
pull yourself together.. And say calmly, What ever made you think that was
going to work? How is that working out
for you now? You do know there are
consequences for actions. Guess you didn’t think that out very well did you? So
tell me again how is that working out for you now?
This is not easy…The
first couple of times.. well, maybe the first 20 times.. But after a while you get a rhythm to
it.
You have to get thru to
them… that while lying, to protect yourself from trouble.. brings more trouble.
One, you have to remember the lie. Second, once your parent finds out you lied,
you have blown their trust in you. And
trust is a heavy tool in life. But once you have blown it..it is hard to get
back. Can take months or even a year or so. Depending on how bad the lie
is. You have to tell them…always tell
you the truth. It is hurtful.. If they tell you the truth, you can work thru
it. That you promise to do your best,
not to go crazy when you hear the truth. And if you do go a little crazy, to
give you 5 or 10 minutes to calm down, and then you will work with them. That if it is bad enough to involve the law…
that you will go thru it, WITH them… NOT
FOR THEM, because that is part of growing up, taking responsible for your
actions.. but you will be there for moral support. And it won’t be financial support, because
once again.. you are responsible for your actions. That is part of growing
up. We all have had to do it. And you too
will survive it. It is a learning lesson.
Also explaining that the
world has changed since you were a teen.
That you made mistakes, like everyone has.. but the world is vicious
now. Women should never walk alone.
Safety in numbers. I can also tell you,
that you should invest in the best self defense classes you can find. EVERY
GIRL NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO DEFEND HERSELF!
Also telling the parents
is easier on you, than them finding out from someone else.
Sports is a good idea for
all teens.. male as well as female. It helps keep them busy… expensive maybe,
but cheaper than bail money.
So good luck.. Keep
calm.. talk, but don’t lecture. Remember
every teen has a short attention span when it comes to parents.. Because after the 5th word, all
they hear is blah, blah blah, like in the Charlie Brown cartoon with the
teacher. And if they are yelling or
talking while you are, remind them, it is hard to listen while you are talking.. (remember that when
they are talking)
When deciding to be your
kids best friend.. or a parent.. pick the parent.. they got lots of best
friends.. they only have one set of parents, who love them unconditionally and
will guide them, protect them, forever.
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