“Things about my family that my grandchildren should know.” Series …. Part 3

Mary Elizabeth, my mother

Mary Elizabeth was an only child, of an only child.

I won’t say she was spoiled, but she did get her way a lot.

She is one of the women in our family who was head strong.  I don’t know a lot about her family, sadly.. don’t know why.  Maybe because her mother passed away when she was 13.  at the age of what she thought was 36. Needless to say.. when I turn 13 the year she turned 36, it was a little shaky.  But that isn’t the part I want to get thru to my grandchildren…

If you have girls.. and they are head strong.. good chance them got it from Mary Elizabeth.. Most of her younger life was spent in St. Louis, Mo. where she was born. And her father worked.  But the summers were in spent in Newport, R.I. with her grandparents (father’s side) especially as she became a teen.  And being she was the only child.. of  their only child, she was treated as special… In Newport, during the summer, she found her first and foremost love of her life.. until her dying day……. HORSES… 

After her mother passed away… her father fell in love with a younger woman… which started out pretty well, being Mary Elizabeth was treated well, in the effort to show her father, that the new to-be-wife, gets along with his daughter. Who by this time is willful.  But after the wedding, all bets were off… and the approaching teen didn’t help much either.

Mary Elizabeth, loved ice skating.. and in St. Louis there was a rink that she use to go to.. and enter races. Which she won many.  At the rink she met a young man, who her father was not crazy about.  Of course, that didn’t slow down Mary Elizabeth, because she was still sting about her father remarrying.  So she ran off and married this young man… to spite her father ….(her words).  That didn’t work out too well, as her father figure it is what it is.. so put a down payment on a house for the couple. And got along with the young man.  So 6 months later, Mary Elizabeth got tired of this… plus housework, was not to her liking.. no housekeeper like her father had after he lost his wife…

So what does Mary Elizabeth do?  She got in her 1936 Chevie, and drove from St. Louis, Mo.  half way across the country to Newport, R.I.  Leaving the fresh new husband behind in the house.   Women, at least proper women did not drive across the country alone, in the 1930’s… Remember Mary Elizabeth was willful, head strong (her father’s words) to say the least. 

She moved in with her grandparents, and decided to get a job, as she had her grandfather tell the young man she was not returning.. he could have the house.. and she wanted a divorce…Her dad was not pleased.   Another thing that a proper women did not do in the 1930’s.  

The job came by her going to Walkers Stable in Middletown, R.I. (near by town to Newport).  Her love of horses and riding ability got her a job of teaching riding lessons.

About a year into her job, there was a mechanic who came to work on one of the horse trucks.  It was love at first sight, from what I was told..   Only trouble …. Both were married to others.  Mary Elizabeth in the process of a divorce… and F. G.  started his… and in 1939, they got married.

But that isn’t the end of the story of the independent Mary Elizabeth.  Just getting started.   She made it thru the rigors of marriage this time, and thru housework and running the finances. Due to the fact that her father had sent her to Boston College and took classes in Fanny Farmer.   But the love of horses was still strong.. even after 2 children and one miss carriage, she missed her show horese.  She had friends who she rode with, as soon as the daughter (me) was old enough to watch the little guy.  And then it was show time… First with American Saddle bred… Drummer being the first show horse, and many came after that… 5 gaited was one time shot… and then the real love of it all… JUMPERS… she love it.. She went to New York at a auction for jumpers. There was an Irish horse, that jumped in steeple chase races… but there was a problem.. he no longer could race as in the trip over in the ship, some how his wind pipe got bend.. lessen his breathing for long races.  She got him for a mere $100.  (still a lot of money in those days)  I was surprised when I hear the story later, that Dad who was pretty tight, let her spend that much money.  We got him about 1950.  I don’t know what his stable name was in Ireland, but in ours.. it was HOLY SMOKE… because that was everyone’s reaction when they saw him. He was at least 17 hands.  Mom, had to get in the back of the pick up, to be able to get on him.. unless there was someone around to boost her on.  Our back yard and the neighbors became a jumping area.  There were what was called Chicken coops, and then the standard cross bars..  Holy Smoke was the most slap happy horse… kids could circle his legs and he wouldn’t move. It was like he knew…  And Mom and Smoky was we called him, went on the win many awards thru the 50’s. Grand Champion of New England, among many other smaller ones..  he just eased over the jumps, without a care.. no struggle.  To the point that some did not like to jump against him.. and one even showed up in our stable with a needle in hand….  But my girlfriend and I had been sleeping in the hay loft above the stalls…so when he came thru the garage to get into the barn… he was surprised by two screaming girls.. 

In the late 1950’s my mother got a job mending fishing nets. The owner of the field behind us own a fishing boat and he would bring his nets to the field to dry and get mended. My mother made friends with the owner, and ended up taking mending lessons from him.. and ended up being their net mender…  There was an article done in a Providence paper, as she was the only known woman net mender. (there was a word for it, which escapes me now)

In the winter…  much to my father’s protest …. My mother would have the Coggeshalls bring in new nets, that had not been tarred yet.. and she sewed the sections to gether.. Starting right after Christmas…   we had a long living room rectangle sized…  that these nets would be strung across the room lengthwise.. And by Spring, they would be fed out the window to the men, who took it to the tar pit across the field… to be tarred and put into use.  Then mended thru the summer.  So it was net mending during the week.. and horse shows during the weekends.

My mother was a strong woman.. some would refer to it as a tomboy personality.  But she had a look.. well, my brother and I knew.. not to push it.. As punishment wasn’t like it is these days.   She use to joke … what ever Mary wants.. Mary gets… after one of her favorite Broadway shows..  Damn Yankee.. the song was What ever Lola wanted , Lola got.    The other look she had, is now called in this day and age..  the BITCH LOOK.. it is the I can’t be bothered by you and your petty stuff look.  And it has manage to go thru the generations.. from her to me, to my daughters, to my granddaughters, and now my great granddaughter..  luckily we can laugh about this.

Mary Elizabeth, had many talents.. She was one hell of a cook…and knew how to put on a 8 course meal, with the proper plates, bowls, and silverware…  She was one hell of a seamstress.. she not only made our clothes.. but she could make them out of the simplest cloth of grain sacks.  She made me a prom dress out of grain sacks.. the bottom skirt part was white.. the top bust section was red and white checks.  No one knew the difference at the dance.  She also did one for Easter, (she always made my Easter outfits) a coat, purse, and hat… that not only matched but they were reversible..   Black on one side… and black and white check on the other.. I had them for years..  She was a hell of an artist. There were many pictures that we had … that she painted.  But the most famous one of all…. (among friends) was a hunt scene.. with horses, riders, dogs, foxes,  walls with jumping horses and riders..and the lodge.. It went from one side of the basement wall, around the corner to the next wall, down the length of the house… Starting with the lodge, with horses tied in front.. dogs surround the horses and riders either on the horse or standing beside them.. that was the short wall..  then came the woods, with jumps, with riders and horses and dogs…going down the full length of the wall.. and way ahead.. is the woods and fox… The riders are all dress in white jodhpur pants with red jackets and black hats…  Last I heard the people who bought the folks house, paneled over it..  don’t know if it is still there or not. As that was over 50 years ago, they sold it.
She also knitted.. made a lot of awesome sweaters... Hell of a gardener.. she could take a bit of a plant, put it in the pot and it would grow wonderfully.. She canned for many years.. our basement always had a large supply of food..  She would make up a menu for the week of dinners and then buy her food accordingly. Using Roast for Sunday and some where during the week, she would use the left over for something.. same with chicken.. She had a $10 budget for food a week.  She taught me to always save for something you really wanted.  If you didn't save for it, you didn't want it bad enough. 

Mary Elizabeth, was a willful woman… strong headed woman..  she did not make friends easily.  As she pretty much said what she thought.  She had a great love of animals, but tolerated people.. She was a woman who had no clue what to do with children.. so lead to tumblest times for her children.. and not much better with grandchildren.. As she had a motto… children should be seen not heard.. which meant my kids drove her nuts.  As we were loud and laughter rang high.  She got use to us.. And she learn to tolerated us.  And love the fact there was so many of us, as any task at the farm got done quickly with so many hands..   Luckily she got closer to my brother’s kids after we left.

She loved her animals… she understood them.. but not humans so much.   All of this helped me a great deal, as I became the strong woman that I had to be.