Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Everyone deals with it different..

Everyone deals with it different.. 

Over time I have heard the phase, “you would think they
Would get over it by now.” …  usually to do with someone who has lost someone in their lives..  A spouse usually is what they are referring to.   This angers me..  They obvious have never lost a spouse.   If it is a child.. you NEVER EVER get over it.. you learn to deal with it..  so you can continue on.
But a spouse, it depends on each person..  Some who have a spouse that was ill for many years and especially at the end was quite painful…  they feel it is a blessing that they love ones no longer are in pain.  For those who lose a spouse to an accident.. it is hard because you don’t have closure.

But how long does it take to “get over it” is as different as there are different people.   What those who ever lost a spouse don’t under stand is… the emptiness. 

You get up each morning.. those who are married… and say good morning to your love one. You might grumble about them taking too long in the bathroom.. or a quick kiss good bye as they or you head out the door for work…..  that is now GONE.   Every night… we head to bed.. we say good night, even if one of you goes to bed earlier than the other.  Even a kiss goodnight…. As you lay in bed, you know your love one is just inches away from you.. without thinking, there is security in that…  Now that is GONE… 

So no matter how many family members there are, no matter how many children you have, no matter how many friends you have…..  there is NOTHING to fill that void each morning and each evening.  No one else can fill that… for quite some time.    And if life comes around again for you later.. you hopefully will find someone to fill that void.  They won’t be a replacement, but an addition to that person.. A different kind of love, because it is a different person.

So unless you have walked in the shoes of losing a spouse, for the love of God, keep those words to yourself.  Because you don’t have a clue.

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