WORDS OF WISDOM…
About 12 years ago, I was ask
for some words of wisdom.. being I was 71 at the time… So I sat down and rough draft it… and this is
what I came up with…
As I thought about this
assignment and wrote out some outlines, it came to surface that much of my
wisdom comes from sayings I heard or read in my lifetime.
To thy self be true. The
person in the mirror knows if you are lying or not, if you are being honest in
your judgment of doing your best. I once
read in the Reader’s Digest, so many, many years ago that a student asked our
President Eisenhower a question, of which the President said to always do your
best. And the student followed it up with “how do you know you did your
best?” And the President answered, the
person in the mirror looking back will know.
Eleanor
Roosevelt saying “Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your permission”. I found to be empowering, because it was up to
me, not others, to make me feel what I feel. And if I let others control that
factor, then shame on me. And remember
most people don’t know who you really are. Even a sibling does not know you
that well. And a boss, an acquaintance, and especially a stranger, does not
know you. So how can they make the judgments that they do. Why let those who do
not know you, make judgments on you. Their assessment is only as important as you
let it be. Like a boss or a wife. The rest consider the source and move on.
Know there are some people you will never change their minds. So don’t try. It
is a waste of time. It is kind of like the pig story. Don’t try to teach a pig
a lesson, it will frustrate you and only tick off the pig.
Advice
is for lawyers, CPA’s and column writers. Not for me.. so when asked, I don’t
give advice. I give options, but only for those who ASK. As my daughter told me when she was a teen,
the phase “If I were you” is a worthless phase. Because we are NOT someone
else… nor are they us. The closest we can say is if I were in your position
this is one of the ways I would handle it. So when some one asks my opinion.. I
tell the several ideas in the form of “have you thought of doing this, or
handling it this way or that way. Always giving more than one. This also helps
because if it doesn’t work out, they can’t come back and tell you.. well you
told me.
Then in my later years I
have come up with Cis’s 4 Questions.
1.
Is this my
responsibility?
2.
Am I financially
responsible for this?
3. Should I or do I want to help?
4. Should I or do I want to help out
financially?
Remember
99% of the time the answer is no. Because in order for others to figure it out,
find their way of doing things right, they don’t need a crutch. Moral support
is ok.. but not for you to handle things for them. Even if this is and
especially if it is .. your adult child. Believe from personal experience this
is not easy.
Education is like a fine pocket watch. Don’t brag about it, you only
use it when you need it. Kind of like the Abe Lincoln saying… it is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth
and remove all doubt. So don’t
brag about what you know, unless you really know. Then only tell what you know
instead of bragging.
Acquaintances
are like chapters of a book of life. Some people come and go thru our lives.
Each a chapter in themselves. Some never return and other will drop in from
chapter to chapter, some years later.
And the ones, who become friends, will always seem like they never left
the chapter, blending in like they never left.
Lastly,
I recently came across an idea… Thank you notes. I was made aware of a man who
started to write thank you notes. Wow, a man who writes thank you notes was
amazing to me. And then I remembered my
mother. She had us write thank you notes to anyone who gave us anything. I know
I followed thru to my kids to a point. Especially to their grandmother. But the man is right. I have been a recipient
of thank you notes.. and it is a nice feeling that someone appreciated what I
said or did. And many times I have thought of telling someone when he or she
did something extra for me… or I saw them, do it for someone else. I thought I
would like to tell them, how impressed I was with their acts. So I have
decided… that I am going to buy a batch of thank you notes and when such a time
comes again.. I will do that.
So
you see, , there are a lot of good things one has heard or saw in one’s life
that teaches us lessons of life. And I
am sure that your parents are looking down and smiling as they see what a fine
woman/ man, you have become. See they laid down the foundation of the person
you are. And from the looks of things, that foundation is very strong. And the
person you have become is where you have worked hard to be that person. The
moral being, the fiber, the honesty, are all yours. And if they had lived you
would still be that person. The only difference is that they watch you from
above instead of down here on this earth of ours.
I
am sure I will remember something I should have put in this... words of wisdom. Something of great value, (smile) but for the
couple of days of notes when an idea comes to mind, this is it…
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