I can't even run away well.....

I can’t even run away well……

Over the years I have run away…. When I just can’t take the drama of others.

I was a child, and I ran away..  all the way across the field that we lived on the edge of...  Got hungry and came home.

Many years later with many children.. who seem to get great satisfaction out of fighting verbal often…. I threaten to run away. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor, up to my ears in their constant fighting.. and mumbling to myself, how I was going to bust out this joint and run away… only to hear great laugher from a friend who just step thru the door and heard me.  Had to admit, it was funny..

Another jump forward.. at work, I was giving showers and I had a partner. It was normal for us to do some single showers as well as two us with a difficult one. When who ever got done first, would go get the next one set uip, knowing the other would be there soon.  Well, she wasn’t. And I decided to go ahead slowly.  Only to have the gentleman, stand up and proceed to beat on me.. I put on the light which means I need help.. no one came.. Finally was able to calm the man down and finish.. getting him back to his room and in bed with floor aide.  When I asked the nurse who was next to the signal board why she didn’t send someone in to help me, she said.. I figured you would be able to handle it. Then to find out my “partner” was pulled aside to count empty beds because the inspectors were due. A job that the Director was suppose to do.. I was upset. When I told them both.. they both said well, you did handle it.  I was upset… it was lunch time..  I grabbed my lunch and went home to eat and to decide if I wanted to go back or not. I ran away.  Only to sit there for 15 minutes at home…open my lunch and finding out.. it isn’t my lunch I grabbed.  I had to go back… that person was counting on that lunch in 10 minutes…  See I can’t run away correctly.

Then Sunday, I was upset with a few people in my life. I decided to runaway after church… So I headed to the beach where my bench is…… only to have the town jerk me around.  See they changed the roads so you can’t get there from here, so I proceed thru the detour that is the normal…only to end up in construction, and have to double back AGAIN, thru the maze the traffic has become in downtown Sandpoint.   But this time I won… I got to the beach… And sighed a huge sigh… enjoyed the view and the peace and quiet of the beautiful sunshine day, with the waters calm…And people walking by, with smiles and good morning…  After 2 hours of this tranquilly, I decided to go home, in a calmer more peaceful set of mind.