Meanest Mother in the Whole World

In the early 1970's I use to listen to a radio station called KUTI radio out of Yakima, Washington. The show was called Party Line. The dj read this essay. It has been my favorite Mother's Day story for years. And I bring it out every so often. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

The Meanest Mother in the Whole World.

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs and toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch. I had to eat a sandwich. As you guess, my supper was different from the other kid's too.

AT LEAST I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My 2 brothers had the same mean mother as I did. My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were at all times, and what we were doing. She insisted if we said we'd be gone one hour or less, we would be gone one hour or less, not one hour and one minute.

I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we did as we pleased. Can you imagine someone actually swatting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.

THE WORST IS yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up early the next morning. We couldn't sleep til noon like our friends. So while they slept, my mother actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work! We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook, and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.

She always insisted upon our telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us. And it nearly did.

By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn on a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 or 14, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 18. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to the school functions, and that was maybe twice a year.

MY MOTHER WAS a complete failure as a mother. None of us has even been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of our country. And whom do you have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? Your right, my mean mother.

Look at the things we missed.... We never got to march in a protest parade, not to take part in a riot, burn draft cards and a million and one things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up in God fearing, educated, honest adults.

Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my 8 children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean.

Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.

(PARTY LINE- KUTI RADIO, Yakima, Wa.)