Throw back Thursday.. July 29, 2005

 JULY 29, 2005

Rokon's Staff

I have always loved cats. Dogs are
cool but I like cats better.

I use to have a sweet male cat
that was black. He was a sweet
heart, who greet me as I came home
from work in the morning. He
would hear my vehicle drive up
and jump up on the back of the
couch that was near the door.

He got use to eating at 5 am or 6 am..
Either Sweetie was going to work and
would feed him before I got home.
Or if Sweetie was off, then he ate
when I got home. But on the rare
weekends that I had off, which meant
no one was up at 5 or 6... he would
be ready to eat. He could not get us
to wake with him meowing, so he came
up with another plan. We had touch
tone lamps.. So he would rub back and
forth until it got up to the high beam..
And it is hard to sleep with lights in
your eyes.But then we lost him to
leukemia, about 5 years ago.

At the end of December last year,
I ended up going to the animal shelter
to JUST LOOK at cats. My grandson
had been after me to get another cat.
He has two and loves cats also. So after
quite a bit of persistence, I said I
would go just LOOK.

I had looked at many in several
rooms. Not finding any I really could
get attached to. I went in with the
mind if I got one I would get a male.
In the final room, I saw a smaller cat
...black.. she latched on to me. As I
was petting her, I thought I would like
to have her. So called Sweetie. He was
not receptive to the idea. But he had
gotten a hunting scooter the Sept. before.
I was not crazy about that and told
him so. So I reminded him about the
scooter and that I had not given him as
much of a bad time over that, as he was
over the cat. So he said, fine... but it is
YOUR cat (remember this) and it is
your problem..Get a good liter box. So
went to the counter and signed up for
her. And they were having a discount
on cats.

My grandson held her as I sign up and
drove home. He was thrilled. Now for
a name... When Sweetie came home,
he looked at her and said what did you
call her. And is she fixed. I told him yes,
she was fixed. And her name is ROKON..
Now we both have ROKON'S that the
other isn't fond of. You see that is the brand
name of his hunting scooter.

So here we are now 8 months later. And
Rokon has us trained well. My other cat
was a house cat. Rokon decided that
was not to be for her. She likes to hide in
the grass. She comes and goes as she
pleases. The old screen on the front door
serves her well for going in and out. So we
have to shut the door if we want to keep
her in. And she protests greatly. Never seen
a cat's mouth open so wide.

And at night? Well, she comes
strolling in...if it pleases her. When
it pleases her. She has come up on the
back deck, gets 4 feet from the door
as I call... and looks at me, then as if to
say.....NAH, I don't think so, maybe
later. and walks off. Even with Sweetie
(remember who told me it was MINE
cat?) calls for her... "here baby doll, here
baby".... Some times she comes in for him
and sometimes not.

Now she has decided the other side of
the road has taller grass than we have
and is more fun. I have done everything
possible to discourage this. As I
don't want her to be roadkill. She loves to go
in the culvert under our driveway.

And one night when I decided not to play
her game and left her out ... well, she came
in at 5am telling me what she thought of me..

They say that people own dogs,
but cats have staff... sorry to say..
but in our house... we are Rokon's staff...

Update..

sadly this past year.. Rokon got a liver disease and we had to put her to sleep.. that was a really rough time for us..

My cousin, Dick….

I learn yesterday that I have lost another cousin.

But this time, it was expected.. he was 81

And has had Alzheimer’s for 8 years.

The past 2 weeks he has gotten weaker.

So it is rather sad…

But let me tell you about my cousin Dick.

Dick at the age of 15 got his own tow truck.

And ran it .. himself, in a small town in R.I.

In those days you didn’t have to be 18.

And when he got more money, he got an ambulance.  In those days, an ambulance was

Mostly a truck van like, with a first aid kit in it.

The point was to rush you to the hospital. And

Hope you lived that long.  When there was a need

For both, he had his dispatcher drive the

Ambulance.  His Mom.

I love listening to him tell the stories about how

The mafia tried to put him out of business, and

Then decided they liked him and respected him,

So they protected him after that.  He saw some

Pretty raw stuff..  But never open his mouth about

Anything he saw or heard.  Guess that is why they

Left him alone.

Later he had a gas station, when the ambulance

Vehicles got more advanced.  Then later in life

He switched to small motors.. lawn mowers and

Snow blowers. 

He and my dad were best of buds. More like

Father and son, than uncle and nephew.

Also trading stuff.  Mom would watch Dad like

A hawk when he would come home from Dick’s

House. Because he would always have something

That Dick gave him or traded. Much to Mom’s

Displeasure.   Just before Dad died, Dick moved

To Florida with his long time girlfriend.  Which

Was a kick in half.  It took about 10 loads or more

To Florida to get his stuff there.. and that wasn’t

Counting Lois’s stuff and the house hold.  He end

Up getting 2 or 3 huge garages built on his property.   Talk about a mess for his family to clean up after he moved away.   He moved with Lois to a nursing home in Va. To be near Lois’s neice who

Helped them.   Lois passed away last year. 

So Dick lead a great life.. full of fun… and now he is

Up there trading stories with my dad and my brother, along with his mom and dad.

HELL OF A STORM

IT STARTED ABOUT 10 TO 8PM.. 

still daylight... 

it was the wind first.. and then it

started to rain.. and rain it did.. 

Then it all quit.. for about 5 minutes. 

and back around it came again,

wind, rain.. bringing lightening and thunder

with it. 

 hard to tell by there is a yellow kite here.. and it started to blow and then strings ended
up blowing straight out sideways..

 then the sky turn red.. and it was eerie... as the solar lights came on, like it was dark yet it wasn't.. the sky in its redness had the sky lit up... 

if you look close at the picture below.. to the far left.. is the water pouring out 

and then came the hail... 

Never seen it when the sky turn red... what is the old saying
red skies at night..... sailors delight.. well, I wonder .. this 
morning.. was it? 

i WASN'T READY YET...

Yesterday was Julie's 57th birthday... and she has been gone for a month to the day. 

But the thought that came to mind, was I WASN'T READY YET... rarely is one ready to lose someone.. Especially ones's child. 

So we start the FIRST.. the first birthday....check.... to go will be the first Christmas, then my birthday.. (always got flowers and a card) the First Mother's day.. also a card and flowers day... and of course a call..

And then there is the everyday... Facebook... seeing things pop up... June 13..2015..Meet Me At The Beach... where we all went and Julie and my youngest walked the beach with me in the early morning..with coffee in hand... laughter...love.... these are the good times, that get me thru this.

So one First down.. 3 more to go..

Sorry Lord, but I JUST WASN'T READY YET.....I WASN'T DONE YET... 

Throwback Thurs... to June 30, 2005

THURSDAY, JUNE 30, 2005

BUCKY

Where do I start? I have thought this
over in my head and now to try to put
it down on paper so to speak, how do
I write it?

My mother was a horsewoman. A true
blue horsewoman . You know the type.
She live and breathe horses. When she
rode horseback, she was part of the horse.
No matter what kind, American Saddle
Bred, 5 gaited or jumpers. They were all
one - she and the horse. I think in all of
my mothers life she was happiest on a horse.

I, on the other hand, was the greatest
frustration for my mother, especially when
you mixed me and horses. I loved horses,
don't get me wrong. Just I didn't jive as well.

They told me for years how at the age
(of no fear) 3, that we had a horse that
was a barn rat. It always ran back to the
barn. Sometimes I could turn this horse
back around before it got to the barn. Other
times the horse made it in to the barn,
but within seconds the horse shot out of
the barn and back to the ring with me still
on and at the reins. That was at 3. It made
my mother so proud and she would brag to
friends.

Somewhere between 3 and 8, I
guess I became horse stupid. As there was
a time I was taken to a show and put in a
class. I don't know what happen in that class,
but I ended up in tears and cried to get out
of the class. Which my mother lead me out
and back to the trailer with her head hung
low. MARY RICHARDSON'S DAUGHTER
CRYING TO GET OUT OF A CLASS? How
mortifying . She didn't retell that story, only
the end of how embarrassing it was.

At about 10, a mouse colored gray with
black mane and tail, and a single black stripe
from mane to tail - pony arrived at our place.
Mom gave him the show name of Mighty
Mouse. He ended up with the stable name
of BUCKY, which he came by honestly. Bucky
was to become my show pony.

So in the Spring, he and I started out. The practice
was to be 2 times around the ring at a walk.
2 times around the ring at a trot. 2 times
around the ring at a canter. Then reverse
on the ring. Same process. We started out
ok. The walk went fine. The ring was oblong.
One end near the barn. We trotted ok. Then
at the top of the ring we were to start to canter.

Which Bucky did about 7 steps - bucked me
off and headed across the ring to the barn
and stopped at the gate. I picked myself up
and went back to the gate and got Bucky. I
got back on and back around we went and
I was bucked off again. I went back to Bucky
to arrive at the same time as my mother .
Who was watching from the dining room
window. My mother was a tough task maker
when it came to horse riding lessons. I got a
tongue lashing for letting go of the reins.
NEVER EVER LET GO OF THE REINS. A
lesson that is still drilled in my head. Bucky
and I were dispatched back out to the ring.
I was bucked off again. Another lecture about
staying on. I did keep the reins. And was
dragged. Bucky also got a lesson from Mom.

After several tries, Bucky and I decided we
better stick it out together. With a few
exceptions, Bucky and I got along so to
speak for the summer. Then from October
to April our only contact was feeding, stall
cleaning and brushing daily. Which Bucky
took in stride. Then came Spring. Where
Bucky would buck again and Bucky and I
would go through Mom's wrath and lectures
to becoming one again. This was our yearly
ritual.

Then one summer Mom decided we would
become jumpers. She had Holy Smoke.
Jumping Champion of R.I. and Southern
New England for 5 straight years. She would
train Bucky and I. We started out ok. Mom
put up 1 foot jumps. And we took that in stride.
The next day 2 foot jumps. Then we had the
pro jumps with crossed bars, which was 2 feet.
We did those. It was fun Bucky and I decided.
The next day was 3 feet. It looked bigger as it
was straight across bars. With much
apprehension we galloped up to it - and we
made it over.. 2 days later she went to 3 feet 6
.
Now I know 6 inches isn't that big of a deal,
except when you are galloping up to it. On a
pony. Well, I guess Bucky thought it looked
bigger too, as we galloped up there, he decided
to go under it. Leaving me with the bar on my
hands for at least 10 feet before we got rid of it.
So Mom put one set of crossed bars and one
straight. We made it over. Well, kind of. When
we went over, there was so much space between
Bucky and I, you could throw a dog through.
But we got to the other side, mostly together.
I was still sitting in the saddle - mostly. My
mother's face was of surprise and shaking her
head. She gave me a quick lesson of how to
lean forward to the neck of the horse (pony in
this case) to lift my hind end up slightly. So we
did a few more. I don't know how Bucky felt
but to me that jump didn't get any smaller.

Mom felt good about it as the next day, after
a few more - she raise the jump to 4 feet!!!
Well, off we galloped. The closer we got, the
more I hated that jump. I guess Bucky did
too, as he skidded to a stop. With me on his
neck. Mom said take a 20 foot or so more for
the lead into the jump. So we went back and
around the top of the ring. Off we went, around
the corner and down towards the jump. Mom
was closer to the jump this time. What the heck
is she doing, I thought. We were almost to the
jump - I hate this jump. And Mom let out yell
that scared the hell out of Bucky and I and we
made it over. I don't know about Bucky but
my heart had had it. We came around and she
said go again. So we galloped up again. And I
was saying PLEASE Bucky get me over this jump.
I hate this jump. Well, He must have heard me
as he got me over that jump!! HE didn't go. He
planted all four in to the ground and I sailed
across and down on to the ground JUST in time
to spook Bucky who put it into reverse. AND
OF COURSE, I am still hanging on to those
REINS and so the jump and I come back at him.
30 feet later Bucky, in blessing, came to a stop.

I now have dirt in my eyes and mouth, my shirt.
I have been banged on the jump bars and holder.
AND MY MOTHER SAYS - GET BACK ON.
-- YEA, RIGHT. No way. But then I remember
the saying. Hell has no fury, as that of a woman's
scorn, but even worse is my mother's. I got back
on. I am shaking. Bucky is shaking. We gallop
up and it is skid city. Bucky wants no part of
this and neither do I. So she gets on and she
races him around the corner and over they go.
She goes around again. And over the jump she
went. NOT Bucky. But Mom did. End of lesson
for the day. The next day we were back to 3 feet 6.
Sometimes Bucky felt up to it and sometimes he
didn't. I had been under, over AND through those
jumps. I was sick of it. Finally Mom gave up us
being champion jumping pony partners.

As the years went on Bucky and I went on to be great
friends. I could take him out to the big field and
we would play Gene Autry or some other western
star. Up and down the little ridges. And then we
would relax. I would put on a halter and off we
would go. I would lay on his back as he ate, and
I would make things out of the clouds as they
floated by. We had a big nursery across the
highway, that Bucky and I would go to and down
to the creek and have a picnic. I use to be able to
stand on his back and ride across the field. Got
my brother up there too. But he fell and somehow
land on my foot as I came down too. I was in a
cast for weeks. Then in 1955 I rode Bucky to a
friends house across the island and we rode around.
I was late getting back and was walking Bucky to
cool him down and Mom was mad. April 5th.
there was a trailer in the driveway. I wonder what
horse Mom was getting now. We weren't. They
were loading Bucky. It was my 15th birthday. I
never got to say good-by. It took 20 years for me
to get close to horses and my mother again. Teen
years are hell on parents and teens alike.

I had a few horses of my own. Rode a few that
belong to others. But now I see a horse and I can
understand how an old truck driver feels when he
sees a semi truck go by. You sure miss them but
you can't afford them anymore. And don't have
the room to ride them anymore. For those of you
who do. Bless you, my spirit rides with you. And
from a woman point of view and maybe guys too.
There is nothing like a horses neck to rap your arms
around and have a good cry, when things go bad.

May God always have room on earth for horses to roam

H.I.P.A.A. policy....

In the 1990’s there was a law or policy that

Passed in the medical organization..but I

Believe it also laps over to other parts of our

Lives. We get notices from time to time from

Our financial companies of privacy policies.

For those who aren’t aware of what H.I.P..A. A.

stands for…

HIPAA, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act, it is for your privacy about your health..

No doctor or hospital is to share your

information with anyone unless you tell them to

do so.. and a lot of times that has to be in writing.

The exception is .. other Dr. and your insurance

Company.  Even if your wife or children want to

Know about your health condition, what meds

You are on… the Dr. and the facilities are not to

Disclose that information with them, with out your

Say so. There are huge fines for violating that act.

So the usual reply is to be.. he/she is resting

Comfortably.

So it makes me wonder.. does it drop after

You die? Because the media is full of disclosure

After actors and public person, died… Such as

The recent death of Carrie Fisher.. She is far from

The first one, and I doubt it will be the last.

To me, it is none of our business what that

Person died from. Or even what ailment the

Person is in the hospital. Unless you are

Related to them by blood.. so it is a health

Issue for you as well. 

Talk Show Host...and it is beyond me

The King and I had been watching NBC, at 6:30pm on

Sunday night.. and then that lead into the new show with

Megan Kelley…. And her interview with a talk show host.

Alex Jones.   I had never heard of him.  Did catch a little

Bit on a news show or something about how she got panned

For his interview.

The Sandy Hook school killings were a hoax.. For those

Under a rock.. that is the school where the teenager went

In and shot and killed 20 some odd children and teachers.

In Connecticut.  

How this clown can believe that is a hoax is beyond me.

How he figures that the parents in their grief would make

This up.. is beyond me.. And frankly it disgust me.. click

Turn channel…

It is hard to believe this so called excuse for a human

Being.. has such a great following (from looking to see

Who is this piece of work) is beyond my understanding.

To even think that such a foul person, with such foul

Thoughts, who feeds the minds of some people who

Live in American is …… again.. beyond me.

He makes Rush Limbaugh seem like a Sunday school

Teacher.. I don’t like Rush either.

I had wondered if this is the world of today. Are we

Promoting hatred talk shows?  But I do remember

Reading years ago about a hateful talk show host.

He was kind of a Archie Bunker type…at least he

Started out that way.. and then got a lot worse. I

Think his name was Joe Pyne.  (just looked it up.

And yes that is the name)  So this hate talk is not

New. Wish it wasn’t so. 

With the shootings, running people over and etc.

We really need to mellow out, find tolerance, find

A way to turn this curve of hatred that seems to

Gather as it goes down the hill.. Because if we don’t,

This world.. yes, world.. won’t be worth a damn.

Never mind America. It breaks my heart to hear it,

See it.. and I won’t watch it.

Like a drop in the bucket.. if we were all to be kinder

To our fellow man/woman… maybe it would make a

Difference.  Some how, I don’t think that is going to

Happen. 

Officially old.... or older....

Hate to say I am old.. so will say older..

But it is official.

Went to the eye doctor on Thursday, and after

Quite a bit of examining .. I am legally qualified to

Drive but not by much… Cataracts have decided

To increase from last year..

So in August, I go in for one operation..and then

Back 2 weeks later to get the other one done.

Got to admit I am not looking forward to it.

The King went about 2 or 3 years ago. Did great.

Said it was no problem at all.. and it was quick.

That it was, because the second time I got to watch.

First time the camera’s weren’t working.  But still

I am nervous about it.

So with cataracts.. I am feeling older

Let me tell you about a Dad.....

Usually when we talk about a Dad, we talk about

Our own.  And I did have a great Dad…

But let me tell you about another Dad…

This guy came to the family, with out any children

Of us own… Never been married before. Married

At the age 47.

In a lot of Portuguese families.. one son gets

Left home with the parents.  And if the father dies

That son, is left to help our the family left at home.

Each child leaves home to do their own thing.. But

The left behind son… takes care of the Mom, after

All have flown the coup.  Some times the son is

Married and has chlld and it becomes a 3 generation

Home.  But a lot of times.. he doesn’t.

This guy is one of those. He watched as his oldest

Brother left, as well as the younger brother and the

Sister. He was the dutiful son.

But then he got wrangled into a family of 8 kids.

Luckily for him.. they were all adults by the time

He joined us.  But I can tell you, he fit like a glove.

He is called at least once a week by one son..

The other sons, check in.. often too. They are the

Ones who he calls when there is a auto problem

He can’t solve. Same with them.  And they are the

Boys who came and painted his 47. 

In August we go see one of the granddaughters get

Married.. and then spend a week helping one of the

Boys remodel his garage.  He volunteered.

The oldest he goes fishing with, when he can.

The girls..well, as I noted the other day.. when one

Of them got mad at me.. she was still talking to him.

The other one, who lives local, can rely on him to fix

anything.  

He loves tormenting the grandchildren. And he is always

Teasing the local one who they do auto projects together.

And the great grandchildren.. are always getting hugs,

And lots of loves. And they take naps together in his chair.

 He even got up at 11pm to run to

The hospital to welcome in our great grandson to the

Family. And to hug his grandson, the new dad…

He might not be blood related.. but don’t try to run that

By the kids, grandkids or even the great grandkids.

See his is DAD… POPPA….and I proudly call him,

My HUSBAND, the KING…

HAPPY FATHER’S DAD, the KING…of our family.

Weather, weather...we always complain ...

What is up with this weather?  We were in the

50 and then hit high 70’s… back to rain and

50’s… then 80’s… we weren’t  even ready or

adjusted to it.. But that is ok, because we hit

the 60’ and a couple 50’s.  And rain..

AND WIND… my gosh the wind has been

So wicked..

But these days we hate to complain, because

You know.. it is just a matter of time before the

Dead heat of the summer will hit us.. and we

Will once again.. wonder are we really practicing

For hell?   And we truly will believe there is a global

Warming..  

The New Normal.....

Yesterday, we started the “new normal”. It is where

We go back to what we use to do, but with an

Empty spot in us.  After all the things that have

To be done, after a person passes.

Back to the laundry on Monday, out in the yard

Pulling weeds, and the other normal things

One does day after day.

Did have something curious happen to me in the

Past 2 weeks..

A couple weeks ago, I was helping a galpal. She

Broke her arm, so I offered to come over and

Plant her plants that she started in her green

House.  As she can’t get down on the ground

And plant them.   But we ended up working on

A old garden area, that she decided she wanted

To turn into a chicken run.  Figuring it would help

The garden for later.  So using old wood and etc.

We put together.. patched together a make shift

Pen.  While doing it.. it became kind of frustrating

Because I would pick up a board to use and she

Would tell me.. ‘not that one, or no, not that one either.

They were all old boards and some of them partly

Rotted.. So to me, what difference did it make. But

It is her project..  about that time.. a butterfly

Buzzed me by…. And then back again.. A yellow

With black butterfly.  Didn’t think much of it, but I

Did find myself mellowing out and continue helping

Out.

Now fast forward to this past Sunday… we are

Out at a friend’s house.  It is the place with the

Bears.  We took our daughter there with her

Husband.  I have a picture of her.. and she looks

Like a 4 year old, with an expression of glee, as she

Sees and feeds them.   The King and I were sitting

In chairs and looking over the lawn towards the old

Cabin, where the bears hang out.  And as I thought

About Julie’s reaction to the bears… a butterfly..

Yellow with black on it… just like the other one ….

Buzzed by me..and then back again.. by the King

And i… I looked at the King.. with a question like

Face.. and he said.. wow…

I told my granddaughter about it.. yesterday.  And

She told me that the 2 day after her mom had passed,

She was outside.. and she too… saw a yellow with

Black butterfly… she had a calming feeling and told

Her 6 year old about it.. the 6 year old went to look

Out the window… and that very same butterfly came

Up and landed on the window in front of her face.. and

Then flew off.

You might think I am crazy… but I feel like it was Julie,

Letting us know she is ok.. And my granddaughter feels

The same.. especially after I told her what happen to

Me.

So today, is day two of the new normal… not fond of

The new normal… but will get thru it..

Nothing feels as good as home..

As we were traveling home from Longview, Washington, on Thursday..

Nothing reminded me more than that …I love Idaho.

It was a combo of many things.. It was the weather, although Idaho

Does get similar weather… it was the people… I thought our group

Could be a little rude…but nothing like dealing with some of the vehicles

On the road on highway 5.  And then there is the Olympia to northern

Tacoma parking lot that they call a section of highway.

And then there was the Highway 90 group.. which had construction, of

Course… which did not add to the enjoyment of the drivers. We got

Flipped off more times, just for following the rules..  The signs said,

Left lane closed ahead… So we got over when it was possible. Never

Nudging, or demanding our space…  So as we were following the

Traffic along for about 3 miles.. at the last minute whose who passed

Us on the left.. all sudden felt entitled to be let in front of us.  And

When we followed those in front of us.. we were told we were number

1.

Then there is the housing.. one on top of the other.. not apartments,

Just houses that were what appeared to be, 10 feet apart.  And

Apartments.. WOW… in Seattle.. they are huge, Someone referred

To them as people warehouses.. that about covers it..

So when we started across the wonderful Long Bridge (that

Is it’s name) it was glorious.. We still had a little over 2 miles

To go yet.. but it seem like arriving home..  

another break and then back again

As you read yesterday..in LOSING A CHILD.... we are heading out this afternoon for the celebration of life.
So will be back sometime Thurs.. and back blogging next week.
Those who pray.. send some travel prayers as we make this long quick trip..
thanks..
Cis

Losing one's child.....

People say, they can’t imagine.. they can’t… unless they have gone thru it themselves.

So many say sorry, and you feel bad for them.. because you know how empty the words sound and they look embarrassed because they feel the same.  You have been there a couple times yourself, telling them you are sorry…

Even I ask myself.. how do I feel?  At first, my brain accepted it as truth.. but my heart did not want to believe it.. still doesn’t.

Can’t say ..why me?  Because .. why not me? after all I am no better than any other human who loses a love one.

One way I felt was…  like I was sitting in a chair, and someone walks up to me.. places a weight on my chest and it slides down to my lap, and walks off..  and as they walk off..I look at them and then my lap.. wondering what do I do with this weight? It seems foreign to me.. the weight given to me. Confusion.. what do I do now? What do I do with this?

Then there is numbness…a separation from life going on around you. You go into autopilot. Do what you have to do.. what is required.  And as you do, you look around at people, you feel almost hurt…. As others go on with life, just like it was before.

You are one of those who went on with life, without knowing the person near you has had their live turn up side down.  You know that it is what it is… but some way you are hurt. Again, the why me, sneaks in a thought, and you answer again.. why not you? It is your turn.  No one wants a turn.. but we all do.

Then you ask God for strength.  To be strong enough to bear this.

After all God only gives you as much as you can take.  But I don’t have as much faith in me, as God seems to.  But I do manage.

People ask me, how are you doing?  And give me hugs, I tell them

I am doing ok. And part of that is right, part of it stings.  

Then I think about the positives.. God reminds me of my daughter’s car accident…she could have died then… She flipped over her riding lawn mower several years ago.. and hit her head on a rock… she could have died then.. And didn’t.  Maybe God was waiting for us to put aside misunderstandings, to rejoin each other’s lives.  As we have had a wonderful memory building relationship for the past 2 and half years. Those memories wrap me in somewhat of a comfort.

My thoughts also go to the fact she was in a good place at the time of her life. She had a husband who worship her, and she, him.

She had a wonderful 6 years with her granddaughter Ava. Ava, her shadow… who did yard work with her.. watched movies as they cuddled, and the cooking times together…and so many wonderful conversations… (you have to meet Ava, to understand how wonderful they were.. I was privy to such ones.)  And then after a 6 year wait.. and grandson enters her life.. The picture of the two of them.. no words are needed to see the love.  She so enjoyed for a little over 2 weeks…before she collapsed.

There is her last post on her facebook, that she tagged me. She asked me for a rose last year.. she had one of her dad’s, and I think her grandmother’s… and wanted one of mine. She liked my candy cane one.  So last year in our trips near her…we dropped it off.. And before she collapsed, she posted a picture of the bloom, she was so thrilled… and so was I when I saw it… 

Then to go back later to her page, and notice the time and when she passed.. just hours differences… makes that rose picture even more meaningful…

I think about the laughs.. the time my youngest and I went to meet her at the coffee shop, in Seaside.. while there to celebrate my 75^th birthday. It is early morning.. and my youngest and I decided to wear long skirts… because Julie always did… and when we arrive at the coffee shop… we see Julie coming several blocks from us… and we laugh… because .. Julie of long dresses and skirts.. is wearing JEANS…

Also my husband.. the King.. the first day was telling someone we lost OUR oldest…daughter. It hit me.. as I was saying I lost MY oldest daughter.. see Julie was from a previous marriage. But she was his daughter.. she loved him dearly.. and he .. her..  You could almost say.. she loved him best.. because when she got mad at me.. and didn’t want to talk.. he offered to give her the key back to her house.. and she told him.. NO.. in case you come down, you will have a place to stay.. see … she loved him best… and we laugh about that now.. Julie and I.

So on June 7^th… we will CELEBRATE… HER LIFE… the memories she has built with all of us. The King and I, her husband, her two sons, her daughter with her husband and 2 children… her 4 brothers, and 3 sisters… cousins, nieces, nephews, her ex- husband and his wife, who are friends..and so many more..

 So many lives she has touched and changed.  Adults now, but trouble teenages years ago, are leaving notes on her page….. the love they have had for her.. how much she means.  So many friends, who shared good times, bad times, funny times.. her group of gals who drank wine together… she did live a full life in those 56 years… (almost 57) I did get the chance to tell her, how proud I am of her.. I did tell her I loved her and always have… thank God, I got to say those words that we take for granted… 

So Ms. Julie… I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON… and back.. and will check in with you when I see a full moon… and sing .. You are my sunshine.. my only sunshine.. you make me happy when skies are grey……

And to the King… thank you for these past 18 years.. Happy Anniversary

Sweet guy…  thanks for treating me like a queen, even when I act like a

Bitch at times… love you