Monday, November 21, 2005

Life is a Bowl of Cherries,But

Life is a bowl of Cherries….
But watch out for the Banana Peels

As I live each day since retirement,
I have spent it by having a positive
attitude and doing things to enjoy life.
Not that life is a bowl of cherries,
of course. We all know that there is
ups and downs in life. But I figured
I had it pretty well in hand. So when
I slipped on the banana peels of life,
I was surprised.

See last Friday, my daughter took me
to see the movie I WALK THE LINE.
The story of Johnny Cash. She, of course,
living with me 2/3’s of her life, knows
what a Johnny Cash fan I am. I use to
have over 48 of his albums. Back to the
days of Sun Records. Giving them away,
was hard to do. But I was going to be
moving again, and the records would
be in storage a long time. So do I keep
them in storage and have them ruin,
or do I give them away so they would
be save. I chose to keep them safe.
I don’t regret that, not even with the
knowledge that the Sun Records ones
would have a money value.

So there we were in the theater, watching
the movie. Being the fan I am, I know
he was not a choir boy. I knew he did some
not so admirable things in his life. I
really enjoyed his, or actually the actor’s
singing. The actor, did a great imitation
of him, singing and all. But as the end
of the movie came, and they had the read
out of when June had died and then 4
months later, Johnny died, (all of which
I knew) it started to hit me. We got up
and walked out side to the brightness of
the day, I felt sad. A lot of emotions hit
me all at once. One of appreciation of
my daughter surprising me, by taking me
to the movie. See she drove to the parking
lot of the theater on the pretense of taking
me to get a latte. As she got out of the car,
she said come on, we are going to the movies.
Hurry, it starts in 15 minutes. To say I am
shocked, and surprise is an understatement.
So her thoughtfulness, the emotion started.

On the way home, I told her it dawn on me
how much Johnny Cash and his music was
involved with my life. I started liking Johnny
Cash, when he was on the Tommy Dorsey
Show, which covered for Ed Sullivan Show
in the summer months. While all my school
friends were screaming over Elvis, I loved
Johnny Cash music. And it kept going thru
2 marriages, and even now. That the last cd
he did, still was heart felt in my heart.

Then as I walked into the house after telling
her how much her gift of love meant to me,
the surprise and the movie too, it hit me.
I found myself, in tears. The King asked
me what was wrong, and I couldn’t tell him.
You see the banana skin has laid me low.

I was facing my own mortality as well as
Mr. Cash’s. As I thought about how I
appreciated 50 years of his music.. it hit
me, that I too, am in my winter of life.
Something I don’t usually admit to others.
I guess because I don’t like to dwell there
myself. I rather think of what I can do
with this last 15 years, if I am lucky, rather
than think about the 15 years themselves.

I guess it goes back to the time I was
talking to a resident, who was weak from
the flu and losing her husband. So she
thought she came to the nursing home
to die. I asked her, did she want to sit
around and wait to die, or did she want
to live until she died. Which is what I
remind myself, when I hit these low spots
on the rare occasions.

And I chose to live until I die,
I chose to live it to its fullest,
and I chose to live it in humor.

P.S.
The resident checked out 2 weeks later.
And as she was packing her bag, she
called me in her room, gave me a hug,
and said Thanks. She and I knew why.
She chose to live life. I saw her a year
later at her sister’s wedding. She was
laughing and looked at me and winked.

2 comments:

JBelle said...

dammit. The gray of winter is starting to fold in and around us. Gotta fight hard! Don't give in! The best really is yet to come...xxxooo

Mari Meehan said...

Beautiful.