Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Etiquette for funerals

Etiquette for funerals.

What is the proper etiquette for funerals these days?
See when I have gone to funerals in the past, there was a few things you could do.. 
1.    give a card
2.  . put money in that card
3.  . take a dish to the family home

And then there is .. who do you go to funerals for?  And why?

I go to funerals to pay respect. Some times if it is some one I know really well… I go even if I don’t know the family.. Which in a way is kind of crazy.. because they have passed so how do they know I showed up.   I guess my answer would be… because I want the family to know their love one meant something to someone other than family.

I also go to some with my husband, because he has asked me to go with him.  In support for him.  Some I have him go by his self, as there are so many people there that he knows and I have not a clue of who they are.  That way he can mingle with others after funeral gathering and visit with all of his old friends, without worrying if I am getting bored.  He can go, take his time, and as long as he wants.. I am good with that.
Then there are the person’s family. Of which I know them as well.. so want them to know I respect their love one.

Now for the top 3 questions..  I or my husband will take a dish over to the family house, to help out so they don’t have to cook for the families who come into town.  We do this for those who we know well…. And local.
We always give a card.. even if for some reason we don’t go to the funeral.. we will send the card.  And with the internet now, and funeral homes having a guest book.. I will go on there and leave some words.

Now the big question.. do we put money in the card. They answer here.. at least for us.. is ..if we know the family is in a bad financial place, we will put money in.  But that has gotten to be a rare thing.  I know when my husband before the King… passed away… people had put money in.. (this was 30 years ago) it helped a great deal… it help with food and etc, until my finances got straighten out after his death.
But one hardly ever hears of it now. And some don’t even bring a card.


So what is your funeral etiquette or your way of doing things? 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My mom passed away last year. Nobody gave money, except for my uncle. People often put in obits to donate to this or that charity as a memorial. When my dad passed in 2001, all money that was given to my mom, she donated to my dad's church anyway. I think people are getting away from that, unless they know that paying for a funeral is going to be a hardship for the family. My husband and I have never liked to go to funeral homes (not that anyone does), but we're finding that since we're getting older, it becomes more frequent that we need to go. It's just so that the family knows you're thinking of them.

Mary Ann