Wednesday, August 28, 2013

DAMN IT TO HELL.....

DAMN IT TO HELL… CANCER… DAMN YOU TO HELL…

Over the years, I have lost a great deal of friends to cancer.. even my mother had cancer..  My very favorite Aunt and Uncle… both….

My first introduction to cancer was my parents losing a friend at the age of 45 to cancer… and how upset they were.  didn't understand as I think I was about
10 or 12.  I just understood it was a bad thing.

I can remember my mother talking about cancer after that.. it was more of a mention than a discussion.  Something about her step mother telling her, that my grandmother (her mother) died of the nasty dirty cancer.  And how happy
she was to find out that it wasn't cancer.  About 45 years later, when I was doing some research, I found her death certificate and found out it was cancer caused. It was due to an operation, on the cancer, and the side effects killed my grandmother at the age of 36.  My own mother was scared of the age 36, especially when I happen to turn 13 at the same month and she was 13 when her mother died.

My next introduction to cancer was a friend/neighbor/class mate… He was a big guy.. got married, had two kids.. and at the age of 24 got that word…
Cancer… He went from 200+ pounds to 98 before he passed. I was horrified when I saw him a week before he passed away. They were helping him get in the car to go to the doctors… I went home and cried.. I had never seen any
one dying of cancer before.

Jump forward 30 years, and I started working in nursing home.. then I really got to know about cancer.. 17 years of taking care of cancer patients. Amazing strong people. Some of them so worried about their family members, that they forgot about themselves.  I found out that cancer had no prejudices. Age, color, nationality, thin, heavy… made no difference… And what we were really amazed, was how many people who worked there, got cancer.
Now Cancer is not contagious. But we counted 11 workers, in 3 years. Nurses, aides, kitchen cooks, and housekeeper…. Didn't matter. Some of these people were good friends of mine… I cried a lot. We in the health care business are suppose to have objectivity...but there is no way to take it in stride.

Then my mother got cancer… she lasted 6 months…  My uncle years later, and then his wife, who was my all time favorite person… like a mother to me.
I cried…

A friend lost her daughter to cancer… another friend got cancer. My cousin got Cancer at the same time as my brother and my neighbor.. My brother and my
neighbor are still fighting…but my cousin lost.  I cry a lot… inside as well as outside.

Just when it seem like things calmed down… when I got word again, that another friend had cancer… she fought the good fight.. almost made it.. but cancer return.  What a beautiful voice….  My walking friend, she came down with her 4th series of cancer… and lost.

And this month… my niece, has cancer and is starting her chemo… she has a good chance of beating it.. She chose to have both of her breast removed. She hopes and we pray, that will end any more chances of a return.
Another friend, his son, and we pray that the procedure will be the end of his.. Another friend lost her husband, in April… he fought the battle, it didn't look good, and then they came up with a new procedure… and it was so hopeful.
It looked good……but then infection kicked in.. and he lost the battle…

All of this… has been heavy on my mind…. this year….and then today, I found out my friend who lost her husband.. now has lung cancer.. never smoked.. yet
there it is.. We are pulling for her.. the chemo has to work…

We put a man on the moon, we come up with all kinds of computer that are out of date before they hardly leave the factory.. why.. oh, why.. can’t we find something to cure cancer… something that will put a stop to ever get it.
I don’t think there is anyone.. who doesn't know someone, who has cancer..

The only ray of hope is there are survivors out there… And there are scientist who are still working hard to find another medical procedure… another med…to help in the battle… and that is our hope…. Our only hope…

DAMN YOU TO HELL, CANCER… we have NOT gave up.. we have just begun to fight…  




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