Sunday, December 19, 2010


Over the many years of being a housewife, I
have gagged myself, almost poison myself,
cleaning the oven. The concoctions the stores
put out for cleaning an oven, I am surprised
they have not killed some one…

So about 3 years ago, when we went down and
bought a brand new stove (I never had a new one
before) I noticed among its many things was an
SELF CLEANING OVEN button. Wow. Self cleaning.

Like I said I have had this stove for 3 years, but did
not have a need to clean it, as I was so proud of it,
I would clean it as soon as a drop of anything hit it.
I even bought those aluminum slide ins for the floor
of the oven.

Well, the other day, I noticed the window was getting
pretty spotted by some thing the King had cooked in
the oven last week. And there was on spot on the back
floor when the aluminum didn’t quite cover.

So figured I should get the book out and read up on how
to use the SELF CLEANING button.

To my dismay, it said I couldn’t leave the racks in, as it
would discolor them. Also I should take soap and water
and clean the stop in the back. NEVER USE HARSH CLEANER.
Ok, not a biggy.

I read that the oven would be very hot so not to touch the
stove while cleaning. It also said there would be a smell, so
if I had a bird in the kitchen, that I should remove it. (who has
a bird in the kitchen, unless you are cooking it?).

So after reading it really well, I hit the magic button called
Cleaning… I could chose 2, 3 or 4 hours.. went for the middle
one …3 hours.. It was after dinner tonight, we settled into a movie
while it cleaned.

With in 20 minutes I am looking for a cloth to put over my mouth.
The smell was gagging me.. as much or more than the chemicals
I used in the past. Even the dog hid behind the King with
her nose buried in to his shirt. We finally came up with an idea to
hang a blanket over the door way (no door) to cut down on the smell.
Which helped a small amount.
We endured 2 and half hours of this. To the point I was wondering maybe
we should have had a bird to tell us if it was safe to breathe..

The bell went off, the oven had to cool off for a hour more before it would
unlock the door on the oven. Then, the big opening, open the door to see this
wonder of all wonders… the SELF CLEANING OVEN!!… much to my horror,
It was a bloody mess as the Brits would say. Not only was the window not clean
but it look twice as bad as it did before. And the ashes they said would be there
just for the sweeping up, and the oven was done… was not there to sweep up
but I had white spats of spots all over the damn oven. On the sides, the top and
the bottom floor of it. I was pissed…. So I got out the soapy water they mention
that would just wipe the ash off… THEY LIED!!! So with cleaners which they
forbid me to use on the oven.. or the window.. (will damage product) and got
on my knees and reached in the chamber of horrors and started to clean. Gagging
thru the smell of the oven. And the window, soap and water be damned.. I got
a scrubber and started to scrub the NOW COOKED ON… mess. Took me
a half an hour to clean it all up… I was not happy. I shut the door, and then
the second horror set in… Seems while it was baking the oven clean, the
air/steam that went out of the oven vents… turn the white oven door, tan for
about a inch. And the door was ….well, for lack of a better word.. icky. So I
clean the whole front of the oven. Then I open the door to what they call the
warming oven. (in the old days it was the broiler) and for love of God!!!!!
It looked like Mt. St. Helens in there… I started to clean it up, and my heart
just wasn’t in it… I shut the door, and I will wait until tomorrow morning,
to clean it up. I am beat and I am going to bed.


1 comment:

stebbijo said...


I feel for you - I bought my first self cleaning oven about 6 months ago. (Our last one finally bit the dust - only one burner worked and the home wireing repair was starting to spark.) I had cooked something in the new oven and it had spilled to the bottom making a mess. When i decided to use it again it smoked up a storm - so now the reason to use the self clean feature!

It does smell and it even caused a fire on the bottom which eventually burns out to gray that you wipe out. I kept the racks in without a problem.

Takes about 3 hrs and quite the experience. You can't leave it and come back - but if it does go up in smoke the oven door locks. Despite the horrors - it did clean pretty well and saved me the elbow grease.

But, I know what you mean. We need a new fridge too, I wonder if they have a self clean feature these days? :-)