Over the years I have had many adjectives used to describe me.
But the two that get me in the most trouble is..
Aloof and no tact.
Aloof because I chose not to get involved in others problems. Or I have let people, my children mostly, live their own lives as they so chose. This has gotten me praises from in-laws. As a mother in law, I refuse to get in the middle. I will let the person vent, but I don't give advise. Even when asked... I will tell them they have many choices.. might even give them 3 or ask them... what choices do they think they have. But for the most part, I just let them vent.
Once in a while telling them, the person they really need to share this with is ... their spouse or parent.
I chose not to hover over the families. I love them all dearly. And when we are together, I am very happy, and love to listen to them all talk and share different things going on in their lives. But I never judge ... even if it is something I rather they didn't do. I didn't like my parents telling me how or what to do, and I didn't like it when my in-laws did the same.
But after all these years I have two of
the 8, who have share the thought, that they thought I didn't care. That I should have been there to walk them thru their problems. But even when they were young, I use to let them handle their problems with their friends and etc. If it was more involved, then I walk by their side as they handled it, not in front of them. So I guess ... I am aloof.
Now tact... well, I have a way of looking at things logically. And tend to say things as I see them.. I don't know how to flower them up, dance around the subject... Basically .. it is what it is. I never do or say things to hurt anyone.. I will hold off, if I think the person can't handle the truth (as Jack Nicholson said.). So I am tact less.
But don't ask me a question, if you don't want an honest answer.