Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Meanest Mom....

Unfair, yes.
See if two children are fighting.. and I stop it,
ask who started it.. both children would say the other
so I punished both of them..

I use to send my kids out to the woods to get their
own stick to be spanked with.  I used the time they
were gone to calm down... Marv and I use to laugh
abut the stick that they come back with. As it usually
took them about an hour to find one.. and then come
home with a willow like one..

I would ask them, are you sure this is the one you
want me to use? One day, I took some play doh... and
smacked it with the willow to show them the difference..
and then I take a  slat and do the same.. when they
saw the slice in with the willow and not with the slab,
which stayed on top... their jaws dropped.  And their
sticks got bigger. See they never knew what the
difference was, as they never got hit by a stick.
Not that they never got spanked.. but those spanking
were with them over the chair hanging on to the legs
of the chair, and me swatting their butts with my
hand.. It was more the idea of it.. than the actual

Mental cruelty? maybe...
We rarely ever went thru this routine.. as like I said
it gave me time to calm down.  And by the time,
they got back... I did what I did every time they
got in trouble.. and I am sure they much rather
have the spanking. 

What was worse than a spanking?  THE TALK.
I would sit them down and talk to him, or take
them outside and walk with them as we talk.
How what they did, had consequences. And
if you want to have friends.. real friends.. then
you want to be nice and not a trouble maker.
How people will perceive them by their actions.
and it went on, and on... and on...  Well, to show
you an example.. one of my son's had done some
thing.. and we had a circle driveway... so the talk
went on as we walked the circle..   A friend of ours
walked by back to the garage.. and said.. Hey, I
don't know what you did...but it must be really
really bad... this is your 12th round... and laughed. 

My own kids have done their correcting in their
own way.. being I wasn't in the area.. I'm not
sure how it went.. mostly time outs in the corner.
Which they got too..
One son had a great advise he gave his son...for
him to ask himself.. "Would I do this if Dad was
here?  If that answer is no.. then DON'T DO IT.
Great advise.. wish I had used that one.

I found this old email.. guess it goes along with these

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them:

I loved you ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you insist that you save your money and buy a bike for yourself even though we could afford to buy one for you.

I loved you be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."

I loved you stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all.

I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them....

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess what our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them.

She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms.

(And Their Kids !!!!!)

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