Where in the family steps are you?

I was the oldest most of my life… I say most

of my life as we had a foster sister for about

2 years.   That was hell..  You see if anything

happen, my mother would say it was me who

did it.   My brother who was 4 years younger

than I… surely didn’t do it.. he wouldn’t have

thought of it.. And my foster sister was 18

months older than I, and she wouldn’t do it as

she was old enough not  to do such a thing..

So I was IT.

Being the middle child was the pits.  And even

when I was the oldest, it wasn’t good either.

See if my brother did do it.. well, it was my

fault as I should have stopped him, as I

was old enough to know better.  Which my

brother caught on to that early in life, and

played that game well.

When I was raising my children, I never had

my oldest ones be in charge. Sadly when

they lived with their father, later in life, that

wasn’t true.. She was the oldest of not only

ours but of the new family two as well.

So it took many, many, many years

for my oldest one to learn that her siblings

were not her responsibility.  That their lives

were just that.. theirs.

I have seen that happen in many families. Even

when I was raising my own, I had friends who

made their oldest be the baby sitter.  Even if

there were other kids their age at a gathering,

they couldn’t go play, as they had to watch

their sibling.  I thought that was horrible, so

made sure that didn’t happen in our family.

But what happens in your ex’s household you have 

no control over. 

I have watch the youngest ones struggle, as the older

ones usually boss them around.. and even as adults,

it is hard as they don't get the respect that they should.

The older ones seem to think the youngest just doesn't

know enough.