Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Where in the family steps are you?

I was the oldest most of my life… I say most
of my life as we had a foster sister for about
2 years.   That was hell..  You see if anything
happen, my mother would say it was me who
did it.   My brother who was 4 years younger
than I… surely didn’t do it.. he wouldn’t have
thought of it.. And my foster sister was 18
months older than I, and she wouldn’t do it as
she was old enough not  to do such a thing..
So I was IT.

Being the middle child was the pits.  And even
when I was the oldest, it wasn’t good either.
See if my brother did do it.. well, it was my
fault as I should have stopped him, as I
was old enough to know better.  Which my
brother caught on to that early in life, and
played that game well.

When I was raising my children, I never had
my oldest ones be in charge. Sadly when
they lived with their father, later in life, that
wasn’t true.. She was the oldest of not only
ours but of the new family two as well.
So it took many, many, many years
for my oldest one to learn that her siblings
were not her responsibility.  That their lives
were just that.. theirs.

I have seen that happen in many families. Even
when I was raising my own, I had friends who
made their oldest be the baby sitter.  Even if
there were other kids their age at a gathering,
they couldn’t go play, as they had to watch
their sibling.  I thought that was horrible, so
made sure that didn’t happen in our family.

But what happens in your ex’s household you have 
no control over. 

I have watch the youngest ones struggle, as the older
ones usually boss them around.. and even as adults,
it is hard as they don't get the respect that they should.
The older ones seem to think the youngest just doesn't
know enough. 

1 comment:

Dung Phan Thi My said...
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