Wrong Word

Over the years we have all said the wrong word….

Retarded, being the newest one that offends.

“That is so Gay”… is offensives

Babe,Baby… to a woman is offensive.. to a lot of women.  

The N word as we call it now.. sure had hit the news of late.

And I am sure there are a lot of others I have left out.

With Paula Deen’s recent fubar. And this is not the first time.

Look at Mark Furhman who was asked on the stand.. have

you EVER said the N word.. He was a police officer in L.A.

Of course he has said it in the past… and behind close doors of the station…he may have said it more often than in the public.

With Paula, being raised in the south.. she still has the strong Southern accent… so of course she has said it in her life time.. more than once. And who knows… she might have even said it in the past 5 years or less.

I am being honest by saying I never said the word… but the word I did use is offensive now.. We, in R.I., referred to them as colored. If used now, will get you in trouble.  When they started to call themselves, black (before the African American term came) I adjusted my language of

reference, to black. And that is where it stays.. I don’t use the A-A reference, as I don’t use the English-German-Swedish reference for myself.. I am first and foremost...an AMERICAN..  Besides, I am Cis.

But 98% I referred to the individuals by their name.

After all, I didn’t want to be referred to as Cis the white gal. Or just “the white gal”.

For older ones, like myself.. old habits are hard to break. It isn’t the term is used nastily.  For the most part, I have gotten myself broke in.. There is some terms.. the ones having to do with gender, I have trouble with.

It is still a man hole, still refer to boats and storms as she, and etc.

My husband who is 61, has a hard time breaking himself for using the word, babe.. Thanks, babe is a common use for him. It is a term of endearment for him.  I have been working on him for over 5 years to not use the term, yet

it slips out from time to time.  He even almost got into trouble at work, because a fellow worker who was in tears over a trouble time in her life… he gave her a hug and told her it would be ok, babe…  He was called on the carpet over it.

Luckily the people he works for, knew he meant no harm.. and even the gal finally admitted he didn’t.  It was hard to understand which one she was more upset about,  the word babe, or the fact that he hugged her.. as she

used the words of sexual harassment, when she turn it in.  And one who knows my husband.. knows sexual harassment is the furthest from him.

Compassion, oh, yea..  And many of women have referred to him as a Teddy bear… as he is a hugger.. and has a great smile. And he has the greatest respect for women..

Sometimes it is time that makes it hard to change.. environment has a huge part in it… sometimes it is just plain ignorance.  Ignorance is hard to fix.. but with patience and time, it can be changed.  Environment is

hard too… how many of you have been around a Southerner with a great drawl…find yourself, inserting “You all”, in your sentence without knowing it, until it has slipped out?

Paula, has sincerely apologized… what more do you want. She gets it.

Personally, I feel if a person apologizes most sincerely… they should not have to do it over and over… After the first or second time, then the other person is asking you to beg.. I beg to no person.. You either understand

I really am truly sorry… or you don’t.. then it becomes your problem. The deal is not that you feel superior because you made the person apologized over and over.