Monday, June 06, 2005

19...6 in Marriage

19 years together, 6 of them married.

As my sweetheart in life and I were out
celebrating Saturday night, day before our
anniversary, we stopped by Ivano's to see
his sister and have a glass of wine.

One of the waitress that looks like she is
about 22 said she had to ask us a question
that she likes to ask older couples. What
makes the marriage work?

My quick answer and my sweetie agreed.
A good sense of humor. We have to be able
to laugh at ourselves before we can laugh at
others. And we can usually find humor even
in our darkest of times.

See our first 6 years in to our relationship
was the hardest. But we made it in style
because we always stuck together. It was ALWAYS
us against the situation. No matter who or what.

My sweetie had some real turbo times after his
business fell apart. So going back to the work
force and having a boss, was not easy. Not so
much as he didn't fit in. It was more to the fact
of him finding out where. The job he had before
he started his own business, had major lay-offs.
So it was like starting over. He worked as a truck
driver for a logging company. Meaning starting
at 2am and heading up to the woods landing area,
to be first in line. Hauling all day long getting in
at least 3 loads and then heading home, coming in
at 11 pm. He took that for 5 months and knew he
couldn't keep it up anymore. His immune system
was telling him, he needed more sleep. He did a part
time job, and then got on with a truck repair company.
That lasted 5 years and then found a job with the
school system. In those years of ups and downs, we
made it. Family illness ran thru those years on both
sides. But we stuck together. On the lowest of low
nights, we hugged each other. We cried together and
we laughed together. We saw marriages, of friends,
sister,and children. We saw death of family and friends.
Always side by side.

So you see, now is the icing on the cake. Not to say
lows can't come back, but we know that as long as
we have each other .... we can do it. Kind of a corny
saying but true. Is our relationship perfect? Heck, no.
He drives me crazy with his practical jokes, which took
me a few years to ignore and not get caught in them.
And I drive him nuts with my laid back, logical attitude.
And of course there are some times I am a witch, but
he loves me anyway.
He brings me flowers for no reason at all. He hugs
me a lot.
He is a great cook. He does the holiday cooking, and
is known for his Red Rice dish. When I worked, he
would cook dinner on his days off.

We have pet names, but not the usual. He has
Margaret for me, (in fact 3 years ago, the newly
moved in neighbor thought my name was Margaret
and put it on our Christmas card.) Which is after
the commercial about the old ladies entering the
highway, when one of the ladies says to the lady
driver.... "Hit it Margaret". Which my sweetie
yelled at me one time when I was at a stop sign
and it has stuck.
I have for him, Jose... When he was going
in to put in for unemployment about 15
years ago, he didn't have his Social Security
card with him. So they wouldn't let him start
the claim until he brought it in, even though
he knew his number by heart. So as we are in
the parking lot getting into the car, I said loudly,
"Well, Jose if you brought your green card, we
wouldn't have this problem." You don't want to
know the look I got from him, just before we both
started to laugh.

See, sense of humor is the answer.
Besides that... he is a great guy. And God has blessed me well.


amyrebba said...

Love the story, and I couldn't agree with you more. My husband and I are starting our own business. I use to say I could never imagine working with him, because he's too picky, too seriouse. But after 11 years of marriage I have learned he has a very dry sense of humor that can make me laugh any day. We work amazingly well together on the business. What's more amazing and a bit scary is how much we think alike.

Word Tosser said...

I know you will do great, Amy as long as you can find humor in the down sides as well as the good times. TOGETHER, no one can beat you. Never take yourselves too seriously.

God's Helper said...

OH how well I remember the beginning...