Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Raising Children is not Easy

Yes, raising children is darn hard work,
but worth the journey.

Raising children has many multi-phases.
Some do it the correct way... marriage and two
parents. Some decide they want children and
not a husband. Some adopt. And some just
have children, without a plan.

There are lots of books on raising children,
but mostly none of them are correct.
You can try to raise your children like
your parents did with you. If they were good
parents.

But the bottom line is, every child is different.
They are different than other peoples children,
and they are different from their own siblings.
So trying to raise them like all other children,
is frustrating for you as well as the child.

If you are raising your children with your spouse,
or alone, or with a divorce parent, it isn't going
to be easy. And I am afraid the news of
your children can be raised as your best friend,
really just doesn't work. There is discipline that is
needed to guide them thru life. And they will
not appreciate that, well for 12 years they won't.

There are going to be lots of times you will not
be popular with your kids. And you will get ...
"well, Fred's mom let's him"... and the standard
answer is..Well, I am not Fred's mom, and I am
doing the best I can.

I told my kids, I have to look at myself at the end of
the day, and I am the one who will decide for now,
if I did it right. I will allow things I know you will be
safe at. I will not let you go where I don't know
you will be safe. There was chores and home work
that came before play. There were no allowances,
but if we had money, and there was a movie.. as a
treat, not as an entitlement.

Was I the best Mom? Well, you would have to ask
my kids...but I was the best Mom, that I could be.
I had lots of fun with the kids, we camped, we had
water fights in the house, we went fishing, swimming.
My job was to raise these kids up safe, and hope they
were happy most of the time. They learn how to do
a job right. Learning to do it right the first time gave
them time for play.

I tried to each them good work ethics. I taught them
to be honest. I taught them to do no harm to others.
And most of all to know how to laugh and love...
I laid down the foundation, and the kids took off and
built on that..

I hope I did it right. It looks like I did.

1 comment:

High Hopes said...

I didn’t have the greatest of childhoods (mostly due to my blood father) but the way I figure I had it so much better then most and with age, wisdom and healing the bad is fading only leaving room for the good.

Out of all my childhood memories the ones I remember most vividly and with a full heart are the ones with you and Dad, they did not involve jet setting to some exotic place, or demand an exuberant amount of money. They where the one on one talks while Dad and I where hunting or horse back riding with you. There where the camping trips where we didn’t have a fancy camper or RV, but we slept under the stars, road our bikes through the woods, swam in the river or sat on the side of the river waiting for daylight so we could fish. There where the packed lunches to go hiking in the hills behind the house, or the whole family going four wheeling through the hills. There was also the Christmas where we made each others gifts, floating on the inner tubes in the creek in Ellensburg during a rain storm, and playing pool.

Where you the worlds greatest Mom, Did you do it right? Well, being one out of eight kids I can only answer for myself by saying this, the lessons I learned from you like driving all the way back to town to take back a $1.39 to a hamburger joint because it would come out of the waitress check, making me take back a piece of penny candy and telling the store owner that I stole it, or dad telling me that I could do anything I wanted to do if I just set my mind to it, and it didn’t matter if I was a man or a women, by far out weigh the years of damage and negative things I learned from Bill and Joanne. The things that I learned form you and Dad I am passing on to my daughter and will pass on to my grand children.

I would not begin to judge you as a person or as a mother as I can only judge myself. However, I am a fighter, I am a lover of life, I am strong willed (and yes bull headed at times, LOL), with high self standards and high self morals. I am strait forward, I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t steal and I love the woman I have grown up to be. I know I would have never survived all I have had it not been for part of you being in me, so as much as it is worth, by my count you must have done something right.