This was sent to me as an email. I don't know if it is true or not
but it was so funny, I thought maybe you would like a good
laugh for the weekend... here it is...
Names have been removed to protect the stupid !
Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.
I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then
kill it and eat it.The first step in this adventure was
getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at
my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of
me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the
back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult
to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm
it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.
I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my
rope.The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed
well back. They were not having any of it.After about 20
minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder,
and threw my rope.
The deer just stood there and stared at me.I wrapped the
rope around my waist and twisted the so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared
at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the
whole rope situation.I took a step towards it...it took a step away.
I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.
The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just
stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they
are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.
That deer EXPLODED.The second thing I learned is that
pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or
a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down
with a rope and with some dignity.A deer-- no chance.
That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There
was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it.
As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across
the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope
was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.
The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina
as many other animals.A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired
and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me
when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize
this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of
the big gash in my head.
At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just
wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.
I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its
neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.
the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer.
At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a
guess that the feeling was mutual.Despite the gash in my
head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested
the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still
think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance
that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the
situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer
a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between
truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind
of like a squeeze chute.
I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could
get my rope back.
Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million
years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody,
so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab
that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.
Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go.
A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull.
They bite HARD and it hurts.The proper thing to do when
a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly.
I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was
ineffective.It seems like the deer was biting and shaking
for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.
I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning
that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing
the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left
hand and pulled that rope loose.
That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.
Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and
shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.
I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a
horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get
away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud
noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.
This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond,
I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman
and tried to turn and run.The reason I had always been
told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at
you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the
back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses
after all, besides being twice a s strong and 3 times as evil,
the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the
head and knocked me down.
Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it
does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize
that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw
your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying
there crying like a little girl and covering your head.I finally
managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.
So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring
a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
--Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.
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